The original Cedars of Lebanon Hospital opened in 1930 in the cool building pictured above on Fountain Avenue (now garishly painted blue and one of the main headquarters for Scientology). It was one of two Jewish hospitals in Los Angeles, the other being the Mount Sinai Home for the Incurables which was founded to treat people during the Great Influenza Epidemic of 1918. The two hospitals merged in 1961 and, with the help of the Max Factor Family Foundation (and others), the complex where I’m currently sitting opened in 1976. Construction has never stopped—Cedars has been spreading its tendrils in the neighborhood for the past 35 years. The building where we’ve been for the past 12 days, the Saperstein Critical Care Tower, opened in 2006 but didn’t house the PICU when we were here in 2009. It’s a beautiful state-of-the-art building and I’m grateful for every Hollywood dollar that was funneled into the place. Among the many buildings on the Cedars-Sinai campus are the Burns and Allen Research Institute and the Steven Spielberg Pediatric Research Center where we’ve gone for all of Charlie’s NICU follow-ups.
It’s fun (for me) to be in a hospital with so many movie
connections—the founders, the funders, the movie greats who’ve had stays on
these floors and, of course, those who spent their final moments here including
Frank Sinatra, Lucille Ball, Elizabeth Taylor, Johnny Carson, Don Knotts, Gilda
Radner, Andy Kaufman, Ernest Borgnine, and, since we arrived here almost two
weeks ago, Lakers owner Jerry Buss. (You can always tell when a celebrity is in
residence by the network news trucks that are camped out front.)
Okay, I’m rambling. Charlie just fell asleep and it was a pretty difficult day, but I feel guilty for even thinking that because the challenges had nothing to do with his medical condition. We’re still on for the surgery on Monday and his CSF cultures are still negative, thank God, but I think the cumulative effect of not being able to get out of bed for so long is finally getting to him (and us!). He lost it a bunch of times today and who can blame him—it’s beyond remarkable how cooperative Charlie is most of the time with everything that’s happening. He has devices connected to every limb and a huge tube coming out of his brain that keeps falling in front of his face no matter how many gauze hats or taping set-ups are attempted and we jump out of our skin every time he so much as reaches upwards with his hand because it would be very bad news if he yanked that EVD out of his head. Oy. After a blissful day yesterday my nerves seem shot again today. Is this the pattern I’ve been following—a simple good, bad, good, bad? That means tomorrow should be smooth sailing which would be great since it’s (please God) the last full day with that device coming out of his head. I dream of that post-op moment on Monday when Charlie can move his head however he wants, sit up in bed, and begin to get back to normal even though he’ll probably still be connected to machines for a few more days.
Am I allowed to kvetch on what I feel I should be calling a good day because it was free of physical trauma? I think I still have a little PTSD from the other night because every time Charlie starts to lose it (which would be completely understandable for ANYONE in his situation), I notice that I’m worrying about what’s going on in his brain—is something off-kilter with his intracranial pressure or the amount of cerebrospinal fluid he’s producing? Breathe.
I’m watching Charlie (finally) sleep right now as “The Harder They Fall” plays on TCM—Humphrey Bogart’s last film. He already had esophageal cancer when he made the movie and died shortly afterwards. I wonder if it was at Cedars of Lebanon. The morning started with “Bye Bye Birdie” which Charlie enjoyed (especially Ann-Margret—he’s no fool!) but the only other film I can even remember from today in my jittery state is “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” which is one of my favorites (speaking of actors who were already sick and died right after filming—in that case, Spencer Tracy). Not that Charlie pays too much attention to our silent TCM films (occasionally a musical number will come on that will make me crank up the sound!)—he’s too busy watching his ENDLESS garbage truck videos. I worry a little about weaning him off those when we get home. He never watched TV or videos until this hospital stay and I’m very grateful for that diversion but with the amount of screen time he’s had for the past 12 days, he may need to enter the toddler division of the Betty Ford Clinic.
I can’t even believe that the Oscars are tomorrow. Today would have been the day that I dragged Charlie to Hollywood & Highland to watch them setting up and I would have been snarking about the awards and my predictions for the past two weeks. This year I just can’t get into it—but don’t worry, I’ll be back!
For now, I just want the next few days to go smoothly and for us to get the hell out of here, as much as I’m grateful for everything that’s being done for Charlie and that we’re in such a world-class hospital. I realize that two weeks is not very long—hell, it sure beats the five months we were here in 2009—but on some days it seems like an eternity. Oh well, here’s to a Sunday that is full of grace, serenity, and embarrassing Oscar speeches!
I can't even imagine what a torture it is for Charlie to lay still for this long. Monday can't come soon enough!
Posted by: Jane | February 23, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Having spent many a night sleeping in uncomfortable chairs watching my baby (my husband, Ken)
my sympathies are with Kendall--and you, or course-- and prayers most of all for YOUR baby, Charlie
big hugs from natalie
Posted by: natalie | February 23, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Gee, he is a trooper! You guys too. Since I know he's in the safest possible place and will be FINE, I also feel free to just read and enjoy. Is it wrong to get a ton of entertainment value out of this? I am SO sorry for what he has to go through. Really. But somebody might as well enjoy it!
All our thoughts/prayers/karma/luck/incantations etc go out to Charlie. The champ.
Posted by: Kate | February 24, 2013 at 05:23 AM
Love to you and Charlie on this day.
Posted by: Peggy Shecket | February 24, 2013 at 05:41 AM
It really is amazing that Charlie has kept himself lying down. There is magic in your family--and grace. Must be the love.
Posted by: Marjorie | February 24, 2013 at 06:03 AM
I am a (really) long time reader of your blog and fan of your writing. I think I discovered you when you left a comment on Ronni Bennett’s blog about Liv Ullmann…or maybe it was Catherine Deneuve. And it’s entirely possible I’m misremembering this.
For awhile, I lost track of your blog. One day a few years ago you popped into my mind and I clicked on your site when Charlie was perhaps a month old. I added you to my Google Reader and haven’t missed a post since.
Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and that I’m sending lots of healthy vibes from the Smoky Mountains out to LA. I’ve also sent links to your blog to friends and family and we are all thinking of you.
One last thing. I was an maternal-child health nurse for 32 years and it warms the cockles of my heart to hear your praise of the health care profession.
I hope your Sunday is indeed full of grace.
Posted by: Pat | February 24, 2013 at 06:23 AM
ALL my thoughts, love and good energies are going out to you all for a successful monday.... xoxo
Posted by: elizabeth conant | February 24, 2013 at 09:11 AM
You and Kendall are both the best parents Charlie could have. I wish you best of luck (spit, spit) for tomorrow.
Posted by: Eva | February 24, 2013 at 04:20 PM