Have you noticed how some people are getting more and more cowardly online? What is it—the anonymity with which people can so easily and obnoxiously criticize others? The growing tone of incivility in this country?
I think I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to online criticism. As a rule, I enjoy any dialogue with readers even if it’s to tell me that they think I’m full of shit. Sure, there have been times when it’s gone over the top such as when certain “anti-circ” extremists descended on my blog, the Huffington Post, and my personal email account because I dared to write a humorous look at my own circumcision. The level of vitriol was so extreme in that case that it got scary—some people even threatened me with violence. That was my first taste of how crazy anonymous commenters can be even though the vast majority of the feedback I’ve received over the years has been the polar opposite of that.
So why am I so irritated today about a fairly innocuous, stupid, and ultimately meaningless comment I received on an interview I did with a French director of a great new film opening in the U.S. tomorrow? I posted the interview yesterday on the MSN Movies blog and just a little while ago received the following comment:
“ZZZZZZZZZZZ…Five minutes of my life I will never get back…”
I realize it’s nothing in the scheme of things but it absolutely boggles my mind that someone who clearly has zero interest in the topic took the time to read the entire interview and then took additional time to post that obnoxious comment. Why would that person read it at all, I just don’t get it? I’m sure that person wouldn’t have made such a comment if he or she were sitting across from me, so why does being online make some people act so differently? I know it shouldn’t bother me, and such idiotic stuff usually doesn’t, but after working hard on that piece, it just bugs me that this is the only comment. If you happened to have read the interview (you can find it here) and feel remotely moved to comment in any way, I’d very much appreciate it. I’ll never ask such a thing again but that person just hit me on the wrong day. Is it just me or is the online world getting brattier by the minute? At least if there were any wit or intelligence involved, such remarks might be interesting.
Maybe I’m also in a foul mood because I got caught in the Snooki traffic at the Grove today. She was being interviewed by Mario Lopez in front of Barnes & Noble. Of course you’re familiar with Snooki’s literary masterpiece, “A Shore Thing” that included such chapter titles as “Penises Always Look Bigger Under Water.” Now I hear she has another book deal. She was standing in front of a sign advertising an upcoming book signing with Perez Hilton. Meanwhile, exquisitely talented writers I know can’t get agents to return their calls. Grumble, grumble.
Okay. Bitter rant ended.
I think it's the anonymity that makes them brave and mean. I've looked at articles about the murder of a neighbor's child (how could anything be worse?) and the anonymous comments were cruel in the extreme - even though it was written in a local paper, and no doubt comments were going to be read by family members. The kind of dopey comment that was directed to you is quite common; I can't think of a response that wouldn't be something like "Same to you, and twice as much," which didn't work with schoolyard bullies either.
Posted by: Judith Brodhead | August 30, 2011 at 06:39 PM
I hear you, dear Danny, (I really really hear you) and I'm on my way this minute to interview.
Sue
Posted by: Sue Katz | August 30, 2011 at 06:40 PM
Five minutes of that person's life they'll never get back, BECAUSE THEY CHOSE TO SPEND IT THAT WAY. What a grade A turdling.
Nephew Spencer
Posted by: Spencer Tweedy | August 30, 2011 at 08:55 PM
I find your writing brilliant and you always make me laugh and think about things in a different light!
I may not always have the same views, but for me there is always something to appreciate in your writing!!! You're a gem!
Robin
Posted by: robin smith | August 30, 2011 at 10:09 PM
I almost never read comments to any articles online because of the nasty and snarky remarks. It seems like being obnoxious is a badge of honor and trying to outdo the others with additional better "smart" remarks is a contest. I've had a pretty crappy week or so myself work-wise so I'm with you on being irritated today by rude, thoughtless people commenting on our work (yours or mine). It's like a vicious combo of "arrogance/ignorance" rules the day anymore. I did read your interview with the French director over the weekend and found it interesting but didn't leave a comment because I thought I had nothing "important" to say other than: "That's interesting" and it was! XO, PG
Posted by: Pam G | August 31, 2011 at 04:27 AM
Danny,
I'm so delighted to read that you had the opportunity to interview Joann Sfar and that he had the chance to be interviewed by someone who took the task seriously. What a wonderful experience for the both of you.
I thought that you prepared beautifully for the interview with the obvious research that you had to have done in order to pose the erudite questions that you did and to elicit the well-rounded responses that he gave to your inquiries.
I saw him interviewed on French TV in my humble living room here in deepest France and was excited by his unique take on the nature of religion and human relationships that he has formed as a man who freely admits that his family had to Arabicize their family name in order to find and keep employment. He describes his grandmother as putting religion behind anything that would interfere with her plans for a family dinner. His outlook was very refreshing and he came across as, unexpectedly, modest and level-headed for a person involved in the entertainment business.
At the time I saw him interviewed here, Gainsbourg was old news and he was doing the promotional tour for Le chat du rabin. I finished the TV sequence wanting to see both films and Gainsbourg is already in DVD here.
I must say that did endeavored to comment directly at your interview site, but the comment system was not at all user-friendly if you want to use a handle such as The Pliers.
I think the snoozer just caught you on a bad day. As you said, why would s/he even bother to read or comment? But the interview was fantastic and I can say that knowing what I know from previous experience here in France. I hope that you got to use your French!
Amitiés and continued good luck with interesting and creative interview subjects to whom you can introduce the US market!
Posted by: The Pliers | August 31, 2011 at 05:01 AM
Cowardly is right! Not to mention the additional minute it took he/she to post that obnoxious comment that they will never get back. Am sending them the evil eye. Ja cie kocham!!
Posted by: Danusia | August 31, 2011 at 06:54 AM
I know that feeling; wondering why THAT was the comment to get under your skin. The fact that we allow it to get to us, is almost worst than the comment itself. I just read the review. Enjoyed it thoroughly, and will look forward to the film, something I'm sure I would have ignored otherwise. Thanks for your thoughtful work, and entertaining blog.
Posted by: Julie | August 31, 2011 at 09:15 AM
Enjoyed your article today on Life by Me. Took me to your blog. I've recently been thinking a lot about the nature of getting upset by something/someone and what is really going on inside that allows my peace to be disturbed. If you're interested, I would love to share some recent insights I've had regarding this that actually make me LOVE it when I get upset.
Posted by: John Groberg | September 01, 2011 at 10:02 AM
I think generally speaking people are coarser these days, not just anonymously but face to face also. I'm a high school teacher, and one day a few years ago I shared what I thought was a humorous article (it was on the invention of trigonometry--had a few puns) with my students. Some of the kids did think it was kind of funny, but one girl said "Can I get that five minutes of my life back" to me. I was hurt and embarassed by her comment. People can be small and mean sometimes. I enjoy your writing Danny, don't let the turkeys get you down!
Posted by: Anne | September 01, 2011 at 03:46 PM
Rant on - well justified. liked yr. article today on Life by Me!
Posted by: rdl | September 02, 2011 at 06:28 AM
Better lucky then talented but don't rule out a deal with the devil. I like to think that people that have enormous wealth/fame did something very wrong to obtain it--it's the romantic in me.
Posted by: helena | September 02, 2011 at 01:37 PM
Anyone who would sign on as zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
must be a real bore/boar...not worth writing too much about. i loved your interview. Strange but after having a publisher's review copy of the Rabbi's Cat for years, this summer I finally read it all and enjoyed it too. That video with Whitney Houston is classic...love the way the translator is trying to change what Whitney and everyone else heard clearly...lol
Posted by: Judy | September 02, 2011 at 09:25 PM
Nobody talks to my brother that way!
Posted by: Your big brother, Bruce | September 03, 2011 at 04:58 AM
That was definitely a mean-spirited comment. I'm sorry you were treated in that manner.
Posted by: Mindy (Manhattan Beach, CA) | September 03, 2011 at 07:59 PM
I had to block anonymous comments on my blog because there were some real crazies coming there to push their agendas. I also got quite a few seriously derogatory and offensive comments.
Posted by: Savvy | September 18, 2011 at 03:03 PM