Open Season

What is going on with all the gay bashing lately? From the horrific physical torture of three men in the Bronx last week because they were gay to the suicide of the college freshman whose roommate posted a secretly recorded video of his encounter with a guy to the two 13-year old boys who hanged themselves recently because they were the targets of school bullies to the vile homophobic comments spewing forth this political season from candidates trying to curry favor with their hate-filled right-wing constituents, it’s a pretty depressing scene out there. Is it really 2010?

Not that there aren’t victories, too, such as today’s ruling by a federal judge against the 17-year-old “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Earlier today, U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips ordered the government to immediately discontinue all discharge proceedings and investigations currently underway. I believe that future generations will study this outrageous policy in disbelief, wondering how it possibly went on for so long.

I am repulsed by the homophobic remarks of candidates like Christine O’Donnell and New York Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino who this week said “I don’t want my children and your children brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option. It isn’t.” Then, in an appearance on the “Today Show” to “explain” why his remarks weren’t offensive, he stuck his foot in deeper. “Young children shouldn’t be exposed to homosexuality at a young age…especially at a gay pride parade. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to one,” Paladino asked Matt Lauer, “but they wear these little Speedos and they grind against each other. And it’s just a terrible thing.” Jesus, what an idiot. It depresses me that Paladino made the first comments in a Chasidic synagogue to an allegedly receptive audience. I know, who am I kidding—why would I be surprised that the ultra-orthodox Chasidic crowd would agree with Paladino’s remarks? It’s just that my experience with Judaism is, shall we say, a bit more progressive than that and I’d like to think that there are Chasidic folks who would not condemn gay people. Today Ann Coulter tried to defend Paladino’s remarks by saying that he was just in a “When in Rome” situation. “He’s speaking to Chasidim," she told Bill O'Reilly, "it’s like going to Chicago. You say ‘Go Cubs!’” Really, Ann?

Fred Phelps and his “God Hates Fags” goons are one thing—everyone with at least a handful of brain cells recognizes the soul-less, deeply damaged Phelps clan as lunatics far outside the mainstream. What really gets me these days are the supposedly deeply religious people who express their anti-gay discriminatory views and then try to hide behind the “it’s just my religious beliefs, it’s the way I was brought up” defense, as though we’re supposed to admire them for holding true to their deeply felt values and laud them for their “religious beliefs.” Bullshit. Millions of people were brought up believing that Jews and African-Americans were less than human, should we have respected those beliefs? Of course there’s one person often cited by the homophobes who would tell them all to go take a flying leap if he could. And that is Jesus Christ. Well, okay, maybe he’d be above the anger that I feel towards these louts but he sure wouldn’t approve of their actions, especially in his name.

Maybe it’s the ramblings of the Tea Party activists and the growing anti-Obama forces in addition to (and related to) the mounting cases of extreme homophobia, but it just feels like hatred in general is on the rise in America. I’m relieved that my daughter goes to a high school where gay bashing and bullying would never be tolerated by the faculty OR the students. Her best friend came out last year when he was a freshman and was greeted by support all around. There are a few openly gay teachers and a strong Gay/Straight Alliance on campus. I feel for all those kids going to school in much less welcoming environments.

Even though it’s received criticism in some quarters of the gay community, I couldn’t be more moved by the “It Gets Better” YouTube campaign started by sex columnist Dan Savage. In his column and podcast, Savage frequently hears from young gay people who describe how miserable they are in their intolerant "religious" communities. Savage always treats these calls very compassionately while still recognizing that there’s little most of these kids can do until they turn 18. He always tries to encourage them to find some kind of support system and just remember that their lives will get better once they come of age and are less dependent on their families. Following the recent rash of gay teen suicides, Savage posted a video and urged others to do the same to give these young people hope for a better future. I’m sure the campaign has saved more than one life. The YouTube channel has already had more than a million hits and currently contains hundreds of inspiring videos. Here are a few:

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Sarah]

Well said, sir!

[laurie]

Thank you for sharing this Danny. I love the you tube videos at the end. It is so heartwarming to see. That is the best way to stand up to the negativity--with love.

[Campbell]

Have you seen Kathy Griffin's video? It's great!

[maggie may]

i just posted about this too. i love the videos.

[Julie]

Your post immediatly reminds my the John Grant's song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_sm-HOGGk4

[Pam G]

I think intolerance always rises in times of economic distress. You know, like Germany in the 1920s, maybe? I've all but stopped watching any TV news considering what's going on. And there's no one worth voting for in any party in the upcoming elections here. I might as well not even show up at the polls as my disgust level is that high right now. Actually had someone tell me a week or so ago that I better learn to keep my progressive viewpoints "more private" unless I want "something to happen" to my house. Yes. In Pittsburgh. In 2010.

[Melinda]

Paladino issued an apology today: "Any reference to branding an entire community based on a small representation of them is wrong."

Translation: "Oh, I meant those other perverts."

[Mike Cohen]

Pam, no matter how you feel, you need to vote to make sure the Republicans don't gain control of Congress.

I start screaming & cursing whenever I see a TV ad by any Republican or Tea Party candidates. I especially hate Rick Scott, whose running for governor of Florida. I not only disagree strongly with his politics (an Arizona-style immigration law, repeal of health care reform, opposition to all of Obama's policies), but I also find him really obnoxious.

[Chris]

Awesome post, Danny. Awesome. I attended the National Coming Out Day brunch in Salt Lake City. Very powerful and moving. John Cepek, president of PFLAG, was the keynote speaker. I urge everyone who feels strongly about this subject to seek out their local PFLAG chapter to see how they can help.

[Gordon]

Dear Danny,
Thanks for this wonderful post. As a gay man, I often make the mistake of thinking that straight people don't care what happens to us. You're a prize.
Thanks,
Gordon

[suzanne]

Thanks for spreading the word. We all must be strong against the intolerant. I love the Trevor Project and if you're interested you can do the easiest thing and donate $5 (up to 6 times) by texting TREVOR to 85944. Our world is beautiful and is getting better. Your post shows that.

[Candi]

Great post! I'm not sure why I torture myself, but I get caught up in those comment sections in our local newspaper whenever there's a story about gay marriage or adoption. For those who hide behind the Bible, I like to point out that it is supposed to be a guide on how to live peacefully in this world and that, like you said above, Jesus would not be happy with how they are behaving. I think deep down, they know it's true, but can't bring themselves to accept something they don't understand so they live in conflict with their beliefs. That bothers them, so they just blame the gays all the more for the suffering they are just bringing on themselves.

I also find it interesting how they don't understand how wrong it is to put gay marriage to a vote. You can't let the majority decide the rights of a minority. If that's how it worked, Christine O'Donnell still wouldn't have the right to vote, much less run for office. This new brand of conservatives just don't seem to have a lot of intelligence...

[Linda Freedman]

Aanny, I know, it's some kind of backlash. But not all Orthodox synagogues are this intolerant. And more than a handful have told me, and this is reiterated in the Wall Street Journal (Oct 15, 2010) by Rabbi Boteach, that there are 613 commandments in the Torah, and sexual minorities tress pass only two choosing not to live alone.

And there is that powerful idea, again, Rabbi Boteach, I think it's the one G-d suggested, when he made woman, that man should not live alone.