A Time For Joy, A Time for Tears

 

When I graduated from Peterson School in Chicago on June 6, 1972, one of the rites of passage was singing the song “Graduation Day” as a class, as so many eighth graders had done before us. At the time and for decades afterwards I believed that it was an original tune composed by a former student or perhaps some traditional folk melody from way, way back. It was only recently that I learned that this was a popular Beach Boys song, a cover of a song first recorded by the Four Freshman in 1956. Even today, when I hear “Graduation Day,” it brings me right back to that auditorium on that humid day in June, 38 years ago (gulp!):

It’s a time a for joy 
A time for tears 
A time we’ll treasure through the years 
We’ll remember always 
Graduation day

At the senior prom 
We danced ’til three 
And then you gave your heart to me 
We’ll remember always 
Graduation day

Though we leave in sorrow 
All the joys we’ve known 
We can face tomorrow 
Knowing we’ll never walk alone

When the ivy walls 
Are far behind 
No matter where our paths may wind 
We’ll remember always 
Graduation day.

Okay, forget the fact that eighth graders don't know from senior proms or ivy walls—graduating eighth grade is a huge deal in Chicago. Leah, by contrast, didn’t even have a graduation. There was a small ceremony when she finished fifth grade and went into middle school but nothing at all at the end of eighth. I think many Chicago schools are still on the K-8 system which is not the case in California. We’re heading to Chicago tomorrow morning to attend my nephew Spencer’s graduation later this week. The trip is especially poignant for us because we missed his Bar Mitzvah last year when our twins were born so early. It's been almost two years since we visited—the longest period that I haven't been in Chicago since I moved away in 1986. This will be Charlie’s very first plane ride and we don’t know what to expect. I’m hoping he’ll charm the flight attendants with his new clapping and “high five” routines. Unfortunately Leah will not be joining us because she’s in the middle of finals but we’re all heading back in August for a much longer trip.

My sister can’t talk about the upcoming graduation without bursting into hysterical sobs. She should need hospitalization by the end of Friday’s ceremony. After spending so many years with the same kids at the same school, it can be quite an emotional day. Here’s a photo of me taken just after my Peterson graduation, standing in between my mother and sister. Dig the hair and the polyester tie. And how about my ultra-groovy velour shirt in my 8th grade class photo above (can you spot me)? As you can see, I was a real shrimp back then (unlike now?). I had been with this group of Jews, Swedes, Greeks, and others since just after JFK’s assassination and now we were finally moving on to Von Steuben High School. Most of us would still be together but we’d be joined by many kids we didn’t know from three or four other feeder schools. We’d been at Peterson for so long that we were eager to move on but also terrified of the big unknown world ahead of us. Funny, I can name every single person in this photo even though I have not spoken to most in well over 30 years.

In retrospect, I think I was way more engaged in school as a young kid than I ever was in high school. I loved school when I was at Peterson and always fantasized about becoming a teacher but at Von Steuben I withdrew significantly and adopted the ‘tude of a couldn’t-be-bothered Disgruntled Teen™ even though I still managed to get good grades. I hope my nephew stays as involved at the great high school he’s going to as he’s been at his fantastic elementary school. I’m sure he will. He’s got so much going on his life and is do damn talented, whether it’s his music, writing, or photography. If you haven’t read Spencer’s blog yet, take a look. To say he's cooler than I was in eighth grade and more aware of the world around him is a pretty huge understatement.

Thanks to the fab folks at General Motors, we will be driving a gorgeous new Buick Enclave while we’re in my home town. I’m still mourning my beloved LaCrosse so this will be a real treat. My nephew Sammy told his mom the other day that he planned one complete day for us: breakfast at Lou Mitchell’s, lunch at Superdawg, dinner at Lou Malnati’s, and a snack at Garrett’s Popcorn. I’m in!

Comments

[Julie Levin Freireich]

Meet you at Lou's! When will you be there?

[Julie R.]

Danny, have a great time! Lou Malnati's...I'm drooling.

[jeff (not Spencer's dad}]

Spencer is a cool cat!

[Pam G]

Last Friday my boss went to his son's kindergarten graduation. Seems they mark every rite of passage in Pittsburgh these days. You know when I was in school, we had one graduation: high school and that was it.

Hope you all have a great time visiting Chicago! Will be interested to hear how Charlie's first plane ride went.

[Jane]

OMG...you get to drive a Buick Enclave before I do! And you get to meet Connie Burke in person, which I've already done many times, but it's always a thrill.

I didn't have any graduation, not from kindergarten, 8th grade, or high school. I was an autodidact like Kendall. My graduation came in the form of a pink Plymouth Rambler I bought on my own at 16, and a pair of real Levi 501's with flower power patches and peace signs. Man, I'm old.

Love you, Danny, and hope you and the family have a great time in Chicago!

[Donna Anton]

Thanks, Danny. Now I can't get the damn tune out of my head. (I emailed post to Sonia Nelson and she said the same thing!) Seeing myself with long hair in that photo, as I mentioned in my email to you, I can just hear my mother yelling, "Get that hair OUT OF YOUR EYES!"

(A more pleasant memory than Mrs O'Connor's yelling, which she seemed to do every day of eighth grade. Is it possible she was younger in that photo than we are now??? Perish the thought.)

Have a piece of Malnati's for me. Had some with Susan Boland and her family in Chicago back in March. My mouth is watering at the memory......

[churlita]

It is really weird that Chicago makes such a big deal of 8th grade graduation. We even went to Milwaukee and toured breweries for our 8th grade grad field trip...Of course, that was in the 70's and we live in an almost all Irish suburb on the Southside.

[Judy Brodhead]

I'm in the Chicago suburbs and when we moved here in 1985 it was the first I had heard about an 8th grade graduation. The story I've heard is that it dates back to when people often left school after 8th grade in the 19th century and early 20th. (My mother had an 8th grade graduation in 1932 in NJ and my grandmother did have to leave school after 8th grade to work in the office of a silk mill in Paterson NJ.) My kids in Naperville all had 8th grade graduations, although every year the school administration really seemed to want to cut them out. Parents who grew up in Chicago liked the tradition.

[Pearl]

I know that Chicago is deemed "the windy city," but no doubt it will be Charlie who will blow everyone away.
Have a wonderful trip and "happy graduation" to your nephew.

[Jenny]

Oh...Garrett's...I think I just drooled a little!

[Arlene]

I cannot believe it has been 38 years! Now I can't get the tune out of my head. Hope you have a wonderful time in Chicago! Happy Graduation to you nephew!

[Leah]

I've heard that part of the reason 8th grade graduation is so big here is that many students don't have a HS or college graduation.

I'd rather think it is the k-8 schools and the closeness the kids feel with their classes, mixed with the bizarre "applying for high school" thing here.

[Sonia]

Donna's right, Danny. I was perfectly content for 38 years knowing that I did not know any song called "Graduation Day." I was so certain of this that when Donna sent a link to your post, I read through the lyrics, I said, "nope, don't know it." So imagine my shock when "gra-ju-aaaa-shun daaaaay," then erupted from my throat, completely unbidden. And then I suddenly remembered the whole melody as well as all the words.

Worse, for the last 5 days, I suddenly and without warning find myself needing to sing, in all its schmaltzy glory, "at the seee-nior prom, we danced 'til three," or any of the other odd phrases of the song that have absolutely no relevance to my life. At times like this I am so grateful to live in the country!

Can I consider this virulent earworm your payback for all the times I overturned your desk?

[Sonia]

And p.s. I love all your posts about Charlie, and wish your whole family all the best!

[J.A.]

Good luck to your nephew. I know where he goes to school (he is at the same summer camp as my kids and they know him slightly) and I know that he is is the difficult position of most Chicago city kids who must transition to high school without most of their friends. I am sure he is going to a wonderful High School but still, it's got to be hard. It's another one of the adavantages of the Chicago burbs that we don't deal with any of that. For kids who do, a graduation makes sense!