Happy 100th Birthday, Anita Karoll!

Today would have been my grandmother’s 100th birthday. I've written about her several times, including last year on her birthday when I told the story of her well publicized return to school late in life, but I still wanted to mark this special occasion. I can't believe she's been gone 20 years already. It kills me that she never got to meet any of her great-grandchildren but I hope she's spending time with Oliver wherever they are. I know she would have gone nuts for Leah, Spencer, Sammy, and Charlie. 

I went to my grandparents' apartment every Friday night for Shabbat dinner from birth until I left Chicago in 1986. By my calculations, that's over 1,400 bowls of chicken soup! She was a great cook, as was my mom. Why did I never cook with them and learn their recipes? I always felt very close to my grandmother but I would give anything to sit down with her now for about 12 hours and interview her about every aspect of her life.

Anita Schutz married my grandfather, Sam Karoll, in 1932 and by all accounts it was a real love match. She wasn't as religious as he was but she adapted to the orthodox lifestyle to please him and his family. But if you were alone with her, lunching in the Walnut Room at Marshall Field's, she might order a shrimp salad or some other shockingly treyf fare. But only if no one was looking—at home her kitchen could pass any rabbi's kosher test! Despite various family dramas over the years, and her eventual health problems, she had a great life with my grandfather. They sailed to Europe together, went to Israel on numerous occasions, visited the family in Toronto a few times a year, and played golf together nearly every weekend. It takes me a minute now to reach back past the last few years of my grandparents' lives and remember how vibrant and energetic they were through most of my childhood and adolescence. But why wouldn't they be? My grandmother was only 44 when her first grandchild was born. She was younger than I am now when I entered the scene. 

 I wish I could time travel for a day back to the late-1940s when this picture was taken of my grandmother and her family. That's my mom on the left in the cute sailor's outfit and my Aunt Bobby on the right. My grandmother is as stylish as a movie star in the photo, and that sense of style continued throughout her life. She had the most amazing clothes, shoes, purses, hats, jewelry, and furs. I'm surprised she let us in the house the way we all dressed. I don't remember her kvetching about it, either, but she always looked dressed to the nines. I wish I could have known her as a young mother. I wonder what she was like. I vaguely remember my mother telling me about some odd customs of the day such as making it a point to take babies out in a stroller when it was super cold, it was thought that the cold air was good for them. She had my mom and aunt when she was in her twenties but then my Uncle Paul came along years later when she was the ancient (for the time) age of 38. 

 My grandmother's red hair was absolutely gorgeous. I remember seeing some photos of her when she was a teenager when it was long and flowing. Happily, she passed down her exact shade of red to my mother, aunt, and my daughter, Leah. This photo from the late 1950s shows my grandmother, mother, and my sister, Sue, who was also a redhead for a time. Both of my grandmother's Russian parents had red hair as did my grandfather and his Polish parents, so my gene pool got it from all sides. (Those Vikings must have cut a large swath through Eastern Europe!) Sitting here thinking about my grandmother, I'm frustrated by the memories I don't have. I didn't spend too much alone time with her, most of my memories are of Friday night dinners and other family events. But after those dinners I'd spend hours in my grandmother's bedroom with her and my mom as they secretly smoked. My grandfather would discover them every week and bitch about smoking on Shabbos. If only they had listened—both died of smoking-related cancers. 

 It's weird to think that my grandmother could conceivably still be alive today. I can't imagine her as a truly old woman. This photo shows how I mostly remember her, laughing and enjoying herself, here with my Aunt Florence. Florence and Anita–not names you hear very often today, although Anita is Leah's middle name. My grandmother was good at keeping a record of her family and she had countless photo albums. But she was the opposite of a true hoarder. I remember when I was in first grade and they moved from their fabulous five-bedroom apartment at 507 Roscoe to a much smaller apartment in a nearby high-rise on Lake Shore Drive, my grandmother was ruthless about throwing stuff out. She sold most of her amazing furniture for a song, got rid of the majority of the tchotchkes she had accumulated over the years, and threw out a lot of stuff that I would kill for today, like my mother's school papers and other mementoes from childhood. Is that what turned my brother, sister, and I into such fierce archivists?

Here's to you, Anita Schutz Karoll, on your 100th birthday. I love you and miss you, and wish you were here to preside over family events and kvell over your beautiful great-grandchildren. Your memory IS a blessing!

Comments

[Sheila Linderman]

What a fabulous post, Danny. Your childhood experience was so very different from mine. My grandparents were all shtetl dwellers, and they passed that whole weltanschauung on to my parents. So, the kosher shabbat dinners were all at our house! No Lighted Schoolhouse for me! Just many years of therapy.

Keep 'em coming!

[Julie R.]

I love your family memories and photos. Your grandparents lived only a couple of blocks from where John and I lived during our first few years in Chicago, so I can imagine your visits there.

By the way, Aunt Florence is rocking that dress!

[Frances]

Sue was really a redhead!

Although you didn't get as much time to talk to your family members as you would have liked you are luck to have the best family photos. They tell their own stories, and they're all good ones.

[Sue Katz]

You know so much more than I do about our fore-folks and your interest runs so deep. I seem to remember that one of the tribes - the Levites? - were all redheads even from Biblical days. No? I'm not so sure it's a Viking thing.

[Pam G]

My grandmother would have been 105 on March 9. She has been gone since 1992. I still have an old jar of cloves from the 1930s that was found in her house after her death. I keep it on my kitchen counter to remind me of how different our lives were. I did get to talk to her some before she died and even recorded one conversation but how I wish I had asked more and deeper questions.

I see Leah in the photos of your grandmother and mom. Wonderful legacy!

[marsha]

Oy, Danny even I remember your grandparents........I miss & think of Judy always...Loved those pictures of all of them...Love to all of you.."marsha from the mart"

[churlita]

Beautiful post, Danny.

[helena]

My god, I never realized how much Judy looked like Anita later in life!

[Michael Sideman]

I remember her from our 6 years at 507 Roscoe. I was about 5 years old when she became pregnant. My parents tried to "explain" it to me, without much success.

[Erin M]

Thanks so much for these beautiful memories.

[Minnesota Mamaleh]

this was a beautiful post! i love seeing the photos and you describe your relationship, your grandmother and your memories so vividly. those 12 hours you long for? you're right! that would be a gift today! it's such a shame that when we have that kind of time (as children) we don;t always know to treasure it or what to do with it! thanks for this.

[Elizabeth]

wonderful pictures and stories -- I'm so glad that I stopped by today and read your blog --

[Elise]

What a lovely tribute to your grandmother. I love reading your stories and seeing your pictures Danny. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories with all of us readers.

[Nancy Grossman-Samuel]

This is fantastic. Such beautiful and loving remembrances. Makes me nostalgic for my own family history! Thanks for sharing so deeply from your heart <3

[your sister]

Oh my god.....Aunt Florence's Flinstones dress!!!
Love it!