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« Oscar Death Shroud | Main | Ladies, Do You Feel Clean and Fresh? »

March 08, 2010


I'm with you on most of your points, but I did like the John Hughes tribute. I thought the friends-introducing-the-nominees thing was a great idea, and it worked nicely for the male actors. It seemed a little forced and awkward for the females, though.

Another big one missing in the memorial bit was Bea Arthur.

I feel bad that this was Charlie's first Oscar ceremony, because I fear that he will grow up not really appreciating old style Hollywood the way you do. Remember when everyone complained that the Academy was a bunch of old farts who just voted for obvious movies like Chariots of Fire? They were right, and it is cool that the Academy is younger and hipper and more open to women and minorities. But also seems a lot more commercial. I hate to sound like my mother, but it just doesn't have the same glamour of David Niven. Will the Hurt Locker be remembered in the same way as Lawrence of Arabia?

I'm almost wondering if the oscars should go the route of the golden globes, and just be a more intimate affair in a hotel where everyone seems drunk.

Every year the oscars suck, and then every year everyone watches it again. I'm curious what the ratings are --

By the way, the minute I got through watching the Oscars, my first thought was -- "What will Danny say?" Now that is branding! (not sure if you take this as a compliment or insult)

I agree with 95% of this. I wish I could remember the 5% I don't agree with but then I'd have to go back and reread it all and I'm far too lazy for that.

Neil Patrick Harris opening was really embarrassing. More Alec and Steve, without a doubt and the young kids? I think I speak for the majority when I say "Who the hell are you and we don't care."

Found you though Neilochka on Twitter and this was the best Oscar wrap up I've read.

Dear Danny,
You must have been reading my mind, because I agree with every single word that you said. Also, I thought that it was really odd having one actor standing on a little platform, at the back of the theater, with his back to the audience, rattling on about something (Best Picture nominations ?). One more thing: Steve Martin, with his white hair and black rimmed glasses, looked like the lead character in, "Up." LOL.

A Brilliant assessment Danny! I think you were generous with your grade, i thought it was the worst, most uninspired, terribly produced Oscars of my lifetime! I grade it a C- or D! The gowns were great this year! More tastetful, less boob!

Agree, agree, agree, agree, AGREE!

And to think they won't let Jon Stewart host because he was too mean? PLEASE.

I've been waiting all day for your review! As usual, your comments are spot on. I didn't watch the whole thing, but I saw enough to remind myself that I really should stop watching the Oscars altogether. Thanks for the shots of Charlie--so cute!

Perfect assessment, Danny! It pissed me off so much last year when they ruined the "In Memoriam" montage by shooting the monitors onstage instead of showing it full screen... and then they did it again this year!! WTF? Completely lost all meaning, and, dare I say, it used to be kind of my favorite part of the Oscars. And, why they have to stint on the time for the montage in favor of other wastes of time is beyond me. Oh, and Inglorious Basterds was robbed.

Danny - I too have been waiting since the show ended to see what you would write - and you didn't disappoint! All I can say is, "exactly!"

...and Charlie is cuter and cuter every day!

You were too kind. It was the worst one in a long time. Wasn't the ending rushed? Tom Hanks walked out and announced the winner. With 10 nominees maybe they didn't want him to read all the titles, but I love that final moment when all the nominees are still possible winners.

This is the best Oscars recap that I've read! Great points! I also laughed out loud at some points... particularly this line:

Bigelow did win, gave a classy speech, and I’m sure was most worthy of the award (I still haven’t seen “The Hurt Locker”), but who made the asinine decision to have the orchestra play “I am woman, hear me roar!” as Streisand and Bigelow left the stage? Jesus Christ. Would they have played “We Shall Overcome” if Lee Daniels had won?


Great pictures of Charlies, too! He's gotten so big & is cuter than ever! =)

I don't think I ever felt so old as when I realized the great Bacall was relegated to the non-televised awards ceremony. I mean, for goodness sake she's LAUREN FRIGGIN BACALL!!!!
Does the Academy not remember Bogey and Bacall?
And you are so right, it looked as though they had to be cattle proded to give those recipients a standing O...what's that all about?
I've loved the Oscars because I always felt like it was the one opportunity (yes politics aside) for those in the business to honor their own. But now it seems to be a show to garner ratings not just for the movies presented but for the show itself.
Maybe they should take a year off, go back to the Roosevelt hotel and have a dinner (and drinks) with only those nominated in attendance. No TV cameras inside and maybe then the event would be about honoring the best in the business. Not just who can be the best at guaranteeing ratings.
And if that proves successful let's bring back the Brown Derby...the one shaped like the hat :)
I think I just miss old Hollywood

I agree with your commandments but want to point out that Bea Arthur was also overlooked in the memorial clips. Maude, overlooked? How could they?

I want anybody and everybody to read this review! The best and your best ever! I agree with just about every word. Perfection, Danny, perfection!

This is the BEST review, most completely ON TARGET i have ever read of the oscars and especially of this year's!! i agree, they were plumb awful and you nailed it, dear danny! thank you, for at least making me laugh when all i wanted to do was weep after watching that abomidable thing. Also, i was completely in shock about that john hughes tribute....for lord's sake, it took up half the broadcast, with those people just mumbling repetitive phrases about him. and long live farrah!!!! xoxo

I think they should go back to 5, maybe 6 top movies. It gets too diluted with so many, and Tom Hanks' omission in naming all the nominated films was the symbolic admission that they can't handle honoring ten films.

Dear Charlie,

Penelope Cruz is my favorite actress too. I want to be her when I grow up.

: )

Lauren Bacall is still stunning. No botox, no pretention. I wanted more of her. I was embarrassed by the I Am Woman, and wished Barbra had shown more restraint. She reminded me of the mother who'd been forced to elope then forced the huge showy wedding on the daughter who wanted a quiet, simple ceremony. Kathryn Bigelow has repeatedly said she doesn't want the modifier "first woman" before Oscar-winning director.

Thanks for the perfect wrap-up as I'm still cursing Adam Shankman for Hairspray and now this.

Great review, Danny. I don't know why the Chicago newspaper tv critics didn't like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's opening. I was laughing SO hard. Yeah, and what the hell was Miley Cyrus doing up on stage besides looking nervous and hunched over? When I think Hollywood, she's the last person I think of. You MUST see "Hurt Locker", but be warned, it is extremely intense. My heart was pounding the entire duration of the movie.

Although I missed more than half of the Oscars, I still agree with your assessment about the show. I was confused about the dancers and would have preferred the songs themselves, even excerpts from the movies would have made more sense. I know I must see "Hurt Locker" but I wish I could see it in black and white, without all the blood. I was glad to read that the horror clips weren't that good. I loved horror films, but I would have been disappointed. I was also disappointed they didn't announce the names of all those who won Oscars for work behind the scenes,and were given awards elsewhere...why couldn't they scroll the names on the screen? Why couldn't Lauren Bacall accept the award onstage like they used to? Who needs Milley Cyrus on stage? Bring back Hayley Mills!!! A first Sandra Bullock gets Razzie on nite & Oscar the next! Shows the importance of good screenwriting!!!
I'll take first oscar for female director anyday!!! or if anyone wants to give me their extra Oscar!
when will we have first transgender Oscar winner? Great dramatic effect was Barbra saying it's about time, was it going to be an African American director or woman?

This is so perfect.

I was bored silly through most of it, and when the interpretive dancers came on I wanted to kick my TV in the nuts.

Also, Kristen Stewart's hipster bored look, throat clearing, scowling arrogance and twitchy leg shaking? Appalling. APPALLING.

Okay, everyone else said it: great review, Danny. I would only add this one tiny question: what was the deal with Mark Boal and Kathryn Bigelow at the end? He gave the thankyou speech--which didn't seem inappropriate--but why did he have her arm in a death grip? Why was she trying to get away? It was awkward beyond words and I haven't heard anyone comment on it.

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were also hanging onto Katheryn Bigelow as they closed the show.

Great post! I actually didn't watch the Oscars, but I loved your recap! PS Charlie is adorable!!

Right on review, Danny, but I would have added "boooring". Charlie looked as cute as ever ..... hope he wasn't booord!

Bubbe Marilyn

One can never have too much Alec Baldwin or too many photos of adorable Charlie--love those Farmers Market pics too!

Next year, I wanna view the Oscars with you.
Your 10 commandments were dead on and I found myself screaming much the same things at my TV.
Ugh -- the Twilight audience pandering.
And what would've Babs had said had Jim Cameron won?
That would have been *awkward*. Or maybe the fix was in...
See Hurt Locker, though -- it truly is extraordinary film making.

Charlie looks cute as evah.


What a fun read--a fellow blogger sent me here, as I had done reviews of the nominated movies and/or actors. I picked the anticipated winners (mostly) but had other favs myself. I am a sucker for Helen Mirren, so I was rooting for her.

I am a big movies fan, and a big Oscar fan. I was also disappointed in the show, and really wondered what the heck the producers were thinking when they asked the bored kiddie stars who seem to have no sense of the movies.

Oh, speaking of chewing gum, even the wonderful Morgan Freeman was chomping away pre-show, while he was being interviewed. Sigh.

Your second commandment is spot on. Had we seen more of them, your other nine commandments might not have been so annoying. Sandy Powell was a jerk. I was embarrassed watching her.

PS: Biting tongue as I look at Charlie.

somebody else who didn't see the humor and dignity in Sandy Powell's speech , amazing ! It was the oscars not the peace prize she won. What is she supposed to say ! Thanks for another useless piece of junk! The oscars are about selling advertising space get your head around it ! And as for people being embarressed OY!

"(Am I the only one who thought she should have won the Best Director prize for “Yentl”?)"


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