Charlie's First Passover

 

Here is a picture of my son at his first seder, paying homage to his great-great grandfather Itshe Meyer Korolnek. I always loved Passover—or Pesach as we called it. Some of my earliest memories involve the two seders we would attend each year at my grandparents’ apartment on Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive. My orthodox grandfather’s seders were true marathons. He wouldn't dream of skipping a single word (in English or in Hebrew) in the Hagaddah, the ritual book that is read during the seder. We savored every morsel of the boiled potatoes in salt water we ate at the beginning of the seder because we knew it would be hours until we had any more food. The potato filled the seder's “Karpas” requirement, the green vegetable for which most people use parsley or lettuce. This was a remnant from my family’s past in the shtetls of Poland where  green vegetables weren’t available at that time of year. “These are so good,” my mother would always say, “why don’t we eat them all year round?” I recall the hefty chunks of raw horseradish my grandfather would make us eat for the bitter herbs, sending us all into dramatic gasps and coughing fits. I dream of my grandmother’s unparalleled gefilte fish, matzah ball soup, and brisket. And I remember how my grandfather placed a call to his parents in Toronto towards the end of the evening so they could sing together the Pesach songs from his childhood—“Chad Gadya” sung in Hebrew, Yiddish, Polish, and Russian!

As befitting the holiday, Charlie went straight for the sickly sweet Mogen David wine. All guests must down four cups of the stuff in the course of the seder. We started drinking that fermented Kool-Aid at an early age. Replacing our grape juice with the hard stuff  was a rite of passage we all looked forward to. One year, my cousin Jerry and I drank so much wine we were falling-over drunk by the time Dayyenu rolled along. My memory is hazy on what happened next but I know at some point, I think just after we ate the hard-boiled eggs, Jerry punched me in the nose, sending streams of blood pouring down over my concord grape wine moustache. Oy.

There was no violence at our seder this year but plenty of excitement as we joined Jewish families around the world in retelling the story of the Hebrew slaves’ exodus from Egypt. As usual, I couldn't stop myself from pointing out characters and moments from the classic 1956 version of “The Ten Commandments,” the definitive cinematic treatment of the Passover story. I’m sure I invoked Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, and Yvonne De Carlo more often than the names of the actual biblical sages.

Last year Passover fell in mid-April. Kendall was pregnant and couldn’t partake in her beloved Mogen David (she’s the only person I know who actually prefers this wine to all others!). Of course we had no idea that just two weeks later our boys would be making their own exodus, four months ahead of schedule and in the most traumatic of ways. What we went through last spring made this Passover all the sweeter, as we passed around Charlie in all his roly-poly glory. I winced every time a mention was made of the plague in which the first-born son of each family must die. It was hard not to think of our own first-born boy who was taken from us last April. Did we forget to mark our doorpost with lamb’s blood?

I always use a fairly traditional Hagaddah but this year, hours before the seder, I suddenly craved more meaning, more connection to our lives today and the challenges we are facing. I found a wonderful progressive Hagaddah online, removed some of the pages that I found too P.C., and ran to Kinko’s.

To give you a taste of a Hagaddah that would NOT have been used in my childhood, here’s the reading that ended our seder:

Tonight we have acknowledged our ancestors. We vow that we will not allow their stories, their experiences, or their wisdom to fade. These are our legacy, which we will study and teach to our friends and children. The task of liberation is long, and it is work we ourselves must do. As the Talmud tells us: “It is not incumbent upon us to finish the task, but neither may we refrain from beginning it.”

And then, before chanting the traditional, L’shana ha-ba-ah b’Yerushalim!” (“Next Year in Jerusalem!”) we read together these words from feminist author Judy Chicago:

And then all that has divided us will merge  
And then compassion will be wedded to power  
And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind  
And then both men and women will be gentle  
And then both women and men will be strong  
And then all will live in harmony with each other and the earth  
And then everywhere will be called Eden once again.  

Wishing all of you a Happy Passover as you explore your own personal liberation.

Comments

[Julie R.]

Can I invite myself to your seder next year?

[Sarah]

What a lovely post-- Happy Passover to you and your family.

PS I like Charlie's outfit. :)

[Emily Barton]

I LOVE the Passover Seder. Unfortunately, I now live far away from all my Jewish friends who used to invite Bob and me to join them for this wonderful event. Thanks so much for sharing yours.

[Margalit]

What on earth have you been feeding Mr Thunderthighs? He is the epitome of a chubster and so adorable I just want to eat him up.

We had a cruddy Seder this year. My son has been in the hospital for 5 weeks and could only get a pass on Tuesday. I was so wiped out that I could barely cook and we ended up with me being the only adult with a table full of uncooperative teenagers. Not that fun.

[laurie]

Thank you Danny for the wonderful post and the beautiful pictures of Charlie. I can't wait to meet him in person. Can you tell me where you found your Haggadah on line? We will be having our Seder this Saturday. Sarah and her best friend will be driving up from Berkeley to join us. I know it is not at the right time, but it is convenient.

[Marilyn Molnar]

What s beautiful sedar you and your family had. I was at my great neice's where she had 25 people and it suddenly dawned on me the next day that I was the oldest one there. Oy!

Happy Pesach to you all!

Love,
Bubbe Marilyn

[Pam G]

Wonderful post and pictures. I attended a Seder this year for the first time in many and enjoyed it very much. Happy Passover to you and the family.

[Elaine Soloway]

We spent the first night of Passover at Myron & Phil's. (A restaurant. I.D. for non-Chicagoans, who might have thought they were relatives.) Your post has given me a real taste of the holiday.

Love seeing pics of Leah and Charlie.

Thanks, Danny!

Fake Grandma
xoxo

[Otir]

Moadim l'simcha to all of you!

We love Pesach here too. My stories are so different from yours, and at the same time I can completely relate to each and every word of your telling, how magical is that? I guess this is what it means, and why it is so meaningful to hold a seder for our children to be told it over and over and create those eternal memories.

I posted the video of our last year's seder. I may edit a shorter one for what we did this year, but maybe not. I managed to edit Pesach in twelve seconds, that's a challenge!

[Sheila Linderman]

Thank you, Danny, Kendall and Charlie, for making our second Seder an absolute delight! We are all in love with Charlie, who is the yummiest baby ever! Next year in LA!

Love, Sheila, Alan and Sarah

[churlita]

Those photos are amazing!

[jeff (not Spencer's dad)]

Mogan David is that the same stuff i drank in collage md 20/20?????? i hope not,

Charlie is so cute,

[Jane]

Happy First Passover to Charlie, who is definitely appropriately chubby. Those cheeks are just crying to be squooshed.

[Robin]

I loved seeing the pictures of Charlie and Leah and I Love hearing your rich story telling and sharing your faith. It is apparent you have strong family values which is so refreshing these days.The picture of you, Charlie and his great grandfather is priceless. Charlie and Leah are blessed that they will know so much of their family history. Your ancestors would be so proud.

[Minnesota Mamaleh]

lovely post and description of seders past and present. i felt like i was right there with you-- tasting those salty potatoes and ouch-ing at the bloody nose! thank you also for sharing your adorable photos. and, last but not least, may your son;s memory be for a blessing. it saddened my heart to read about that and seeing your love cuddled with you warmed it right back up. thank you for a glimpse into your pesach!

[Shari]

For some reason the Mogen David tasted especially good this year. Pesach is my favorite Jewish holiday. Yes, I would like a copy of the Haggadah you used, as well.

[Jane]

Every time I see Charlie I love him just a little bit more. My heart is so full looking at these beautiful pictures and reading your tender words. I truly think he's just the most precious boy in the world.

[sue g.]

I agree with Kendall--I love blackberry Mogen David!

[Heather]

Awww! Look at Charlie in his yarmulke -- he is just SO adorable, Danny.

[Elisabeth]

Charlie is so adorable. Oh, Lord! I want to adopt him, but I know you won't give him away...

[Chris]

Charlie is the definition of "roly-poly glory". He's adorable.

[amba]

Sometimes I worry that Charlie will feel haunted by his "perfect" brother.