Grammy Apartheid

 

There’s a fascinating thing that happens on the red carpet at awards shows and other gala affairs in this town. On Friday night I went to a fabulous Neil Young tribute put on by the Grammy charity organization called Musicares. Each year, just before the Grammys, they honor a Person of the Year and this year an amazing roster of talent came out to celebrate Neil Young. The above photo is of Wilco on the red carpet. Here’s a sample of one of the more ditzy Grammy reporters accosting the band at the event:

(You can see a much more interesting interview with John Stirratt here.)

I arrived at the L.A Convention center a while before my family members and watched the well-heeled masses getting out of their limos. There were about 2500 people attending this tribute and while many of them play important roles in the music industry, most of them are not deemed red carpet-worthy. At most of these events, including the actual Grammy Awards which were held last night at the next-door Staples Center, there are TWO red carpets. One leading to the phalanx of cameras and reporters and the other one for mere mortals who are simply attending the event. But here’s the problem. As the glitterati  exit their limousines, the people working the event have only a few seconds to deftly guide the new arrivals to the correct red carpet. If they don’t do it quickly and discreetly, it can lead to embarrassing moments that send an unmistakable message: “You may think you’re famous, but no one wants to take your picture. Please go over to the other line.” I found the whole thing very unsettling and felt for the hapless saps who accidentally (or on purpose) started wandering down the main red carpet only to be yanked back by the hired guns. I couldn’t help but think of the infamous Dr. Mengele standing among the hordes of new arrivals at Auschwitz, using his finger to divide the people into two lines, one for those he felt could be of some use to the Nazis, and the other one going straight to the gas chambers. Left, right, left, left, right, right, left.

My sister and the other Wilco wives began on the “real” red carpet but were quickly asked to move ahead so that reporters could interview the boys. Many publications were there from Rolling Stone to Soap Opera Digest. At one point I climbed up on a photographer’s platform to watch the arrivals. While no one needed help recognizing folks like David Crosby, Jackson Browne, or the Red Hot Chili Peppers, potentially embarrassing moments were avoided thanks to a woman walking discreetly behind some of the stars holding up an erasable white board with their name prominently displayed. This allowed the photographers to scream the right name, trying to get the celebrity’s attention even if they had no clue who they were. Some of the reporters went nuts over people I had never heard of, mostly country music stars or Spanish language performers. 83-year-old Tony Bennett caused quite a stir (deservedly so) when he arrived with his daughter. Matthew McConaughey worked the line with movie star expertise and glamour-boy insouciance, flashing his pearly whites at every single photographer who called out his name. He and his Brazilian supermodel wife were criticized by some the next day for attending an event so soon after the arrival of their second daughter. All I heard was women around me gasping that Camila’s perfect body had delivered a baby a few weeks earlier.

Nicole Kidman, accompanying hubby Keith Urban who performed in the concert with John Fogerty (and was surprisingly good), tried to bypass the photographers by dashing by on the other red carpet reserved for drones. It didn’t work. Towering above most people, including her husband, the photographers spotted Kidman and immediately abandoned their official prey to sprint towards Nicole (almost knocking me down in the process) to snap her photo. Sensing her ruse had failed, she dutifully turned around and posed for a few glamour shots. Oy, what a scene.

The show itself was extraordinary. After a glitzed-out silent auction that included everything from a specially outfitted Grammy Acura, countless guitars signed by rockers, and a table full of only-in-L.A. items such as botox treatments and microderm abrasions, we were treated to a yummy dinner and then the tribute concert expertly hosted by Jack Black. There were so many amazing performers I couldn’t even begin to list them, each one singing a Neil Young song and sending love to Neil and his wife Pegi who were sitting up front soaking it in. Wilco knocked it out of the park with a fantastic rendition of Young’s “Broken Arrow,” not the easiest song to perform. John Mellencamp sang “Down by the River.” Norah Jones did “Tell Me Why,” Ben Harper performed a moving “Ohio,” and Jackson Browne sang “Don’t Let it Bring You Down.”

When I arrived and tried to get my ticket, they tried to seat me with Lady Antebellum. “Who?” I said. “Aren’t you Daniel Miller of Lady Antebellum?” I’ve never heard of them,” I said. But I liked them when they sang “Only Love Can Break Your Heart.” There were so many others, from James Taylor to Emmylou Harris. Elton John, my brother-in-law’s new BFF, sang “Helpless” with Sheryl Crow (can I play the piano like Elton John in my next life?) and Crosby, Stills, and Nash peformed “Human Highway.” Hearing all of these songs, it was impossible not to be in awe of Neil Young’s talent. He didn’t perform with his old pals, which was a little disappointing, but he spoke briefly and eloquently of his life and career. Here’s the only video clip of the event I could find that, unfortunately, does not include Wilco’s performance:

Wilco was nominated for Best Americana Album but lost last night to Levon Helm. I love Helm, both for his music and his role as Sissy Spacek’s father in “Coal Miner’s Daughter!” In addition to my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews, I attended Friday’s Grammy event with two of my favorite people, Pam and Jim Allyn who flew in from New York. Pam and Jim run two amazing organizations, LitLife and LitWorld. If you’re looking for a nonprofit that is helping children all over this planet, please donate to LitWorld. I was honored to edit seven of Pam’s books for Scholastic and am here to say she is one of our country’s leading voices on literacy. She’s also a huge Neil Young (and Wilco) fan!

Comments

[The Pliers]

For the second time in a very short period of weeks, I have come to your blog and found that we have used the same obscure word, in this case "phalanx," in very different contexts in our blogs totally unbeknownst to one another.

And I'm delighted, as always, to know that you are out and about hobnobbing with the talented!

Amitiés

[Erica M]

You write the best event recaps. What is recap short for---recapitulation? Anyway, thanks for this. It was an emotional read and I don't even watch award shows.

[Tove]

Interesting to read about how the red carpet world is organized!

[Jeff]

The concert looks really fun (and sounds like you had quite a week between the concert then the Grammys!_ but boy did they look uncomfortable in that interview.

[pam allyn]

we saw a lot of celebrities this weekend but our favorite ones were the miller family! it was a joy...

[susie specter]

it is obvious that wilco would rather be on the chicago lakefront trails then at some stuffy LA uber commercial affair, good thing they r coming up here to the grungy pac nw! to breathe our best air!

[KH]

is there anything more horrifying/entertaining than watching an inept reporter interview smart people who make up a band she probably had to look up on wikipedia a few seconds beforehand? great recap, and nice alliteration with "wilco wives" that sounds like a supercool club with a secret handshake and members only jackets before urban outfitters ruined that too.

[Otir]

Needless to say that I found your comparison to Mengele's selections rather unsettling.

I like celebrities when they are not in herds. I can't put myself into the crowd thing. Thankfully I am not working near any of this world after all.

[Pearl]

Here's the playlist from that musical evening:

John Mellencamp and T Bone Burnett, "Down by the River"


Ozomatli, "Mr. Soul"


Jackson Browne, "Don't Let It Bring You Down"


Stephen Stills and Sheryl Crow, "Long May You Run"

Lady Antebellum, "Only Love Can Break Your Heart"


Norah Jones, "Tell Me Why"


Lucinda Williams, Emmylou Harris and Patty Griffin, "Comes a Time"


Wilco, "Broken Arrow"


Josh Groban, "Harvest Moon"

Everest, "Revolution Blues"


Dierks Bentley and Booker T. Jones, "Cinnamon Girl"


Ben Harper, "Ohio"


Keith Urban, John Fogerty and Booker T. Jones, "Rockin' in the Free World"


Elvis Costello, "The Losing End"


Jason Mraz, Shawn Colvin and the Grooveline Horns, "Lotta Love"


Dave Matthews, "The Needle and the Damage Done"


Red Hot Chili Peppers, "A Man Needs a Maid"


James Taylor, "Heart of Gold"


Elton John, Leon Russell, Neko Case, Sheryl Crow and T Bone Burnett, "Helpless"


Crosby, Stills & Nash, "Human Highway"

[jeff(not Spencer's Dad)]

Sometimes "celebrities" think they are better then common folks, and it makes me laugh so hard!!!!!

[Carla]

Sure wish I could have been there! Then I missed Wilco in Montana because of a snowstorm here on the east coast cancelling my flight.
I have tickets to see Wilco in April, and here's hoping that no freak blizzard pops up!