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« Ashes to Ashes, Soup to Nuts | Main | First Halloween »

October 27, 2009


Happy Birthday to both of your sons indeed. and Charlie, you are one handsome little man.

I think you should always celebrate this half birthday as Charlie gets older, so you have two birthday celebrations each year! Regards to the family.

What a lovely baby, pu, pu, pu!

I like Neil's idea a lot; celebrate each day, then mark each half birthday with an extraspecial celebration.


So glad you've got your little Charlie at home with you. Your family has been through hell and back, I hope you can relax now and enjoy the wonder of being a new dad. Happy half-birthday, Charlie and Oliver.

happy half birthday. Snazzy outfit. Danny, you always leave me teary. I was rooting so hard for Charlie, as were we all, and it's just so good that he's home with you all.

Hand to my heart. Again, as always, when here with you. xo

Happy half birthday Charlie. You look great in green!

A very merry unbirthday to you, Charlie man!

Happy half-birthday to both your sons -- to Charlie, who lives in your home and arms, and to Oliver who lives in your heart.

Your post bought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that you lost your little Oliver.

I hope that the next 6 months bring only joy and happiness to you all.

Happy Birthdays to the boys, each one such an emormous presence in your lives, and I'm not sure how it has happened, but a constant thought in mine as I raise my two. Thank you for reminding me to live in the moment.

One moment in mine: I was recently watching Words and Music with my four-year old Jonah. We watch musicals all the time---The Music Man, Singing in the Rain, The Bandwagon, and (this comes into play) On the Town are favorites. When Betty Garrett appeared on the screen, being courted by Mickey Rooney, Jonah glanced at my shrewdly and said, "When she's in New York, she drives a taxi." I only know of a few people who would get this, and you are one. So, I thought of you and your lovely family, and my knowledge of you all through this, the only blog I read faithfully.

A wonderful half-birthday wish for your sons. Charlie is precious and Oliver will never be forgotten.

Happy half-birthday to both your lovely boys. Charlie does look very stylish in green and here's to many many happy birthdays (half and otherwise in the future)

I certainly felt like I was walking three feet to one side of myself for quite sometime after the girls were born. I'm so terribly sorry that Oliver is not here with you, celebrating with his twin.


So glad your body has righted itself and come back down to earth. It should be stable now (well, relatively) with your glorious family on all sides.

Kid looks terrific!

Fake Grandma

Belated unbirthday wishes to Charlie. He does look so handsome in green. Pu pu pu.
May he get stronger and stronger as he grows in good health. so sweet is his expression....give him lots of hugs for me and everyone who made comments!

A toast to Charlie and his wonderful family on this stellar occasion.

This is a beautiful post. I have tears in my eyes for you and your boys... but I also feel so happy at the same time. Happy half birthday baby boys!

Six months already? that's crazy. I'm so sorry for the loss of Oliver, but also happy that you have a beautiful Charlie to play with everyday.

Dear Danny,

Losing Oliver is not a sadness that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. It's something terrible that happened, that you're choosing to dwell on for the rest of your life. And, all that wasted effort is cheating the rest of your family out of a lot of the love and attention that they deserve from you. It's time to kiss Oliver goodbye and concentrate on the living. My comments are made in kindness, not to be mean. And, I think that they are something from which you would greatly benefit if you chose to take them to heart.

Charlie looks great. Celebrate every day.


Thanks for your comment, Gordon, and I know it's made in kindness but I don't think it applies to me or my family at all. I can see if I was obsessing on our other son to the exclusion of enjoying Charlie's presence in our lives but I assure you that's not the case. We couldn't be happier these days but that doesn't mean there still isn't a sadness about Oliver that will always be there. Both co-exist beautifully. Thinking about the son that we lost doesn't take away from the happiness that we feel. It helps me to write about Oliver on here from time to time but it in no way indicates any kind of unhealthy obsession.

Dear Danny: I am a reader of your blog and have appreciated your generosity in sharing your very personal journey with us. I haven't commented here before but feel compelled to after reading what Gordon wrote. I have to say, my mouth dropped open in shock. This might be presumptuous on my part as I don't know what your relationship is with Gordon but I think his comments to you are cruel, insensitive, and best. Gordon, I think you need to do some serious soul searching as to why you would say such a thing to someone. Oliver is a part of Danny and his family, and always will be. Shame on you.

Hi Danny,

We think you are awesome and were just telling our Grandma about Charlie and Oliver.

We love that picture of Charlie he looks like a little green zuchinni. A happy, healthy little green zuchinni. Smiling and sunshiney.

We made a video but erased it by accident when we went to LA and filmed a lot of stuff. Anyhow, we were dancing around and singing for Charlie & Oliver with our friends. We will make it again, for Char-lollie, which is the name we like and which is a good blend.

Happy Halloween, keep writing and be yourself and we will keep singing for Char-lollie.

Avery and Lowry

I just found your site because you were kind enough to link to mine, and I feel so lucky to have discovered you.
After getting caught up on your story (found myself reading post after post), I could not be more moved by your beautiful birthday post and the photo of your gorgeous, knit-clad child. What an adorable little man.
Look forward to keeping up with your blog and hearing news of your family.

What a beautiful post.

And Charlie is so gorgeous. He really looks fantastic.

Hugs to all...

Thank you for sharing some of the heart wrenching moments of that difficult day. Love and blessings to your whole family.

Charlie is so cute!!! Happy half birthday, little guy!

Dear Danny,

Thanks for your very thoughtful response. I'm glad you realized that I was simply being concerned. As you know, I'm a big fan of your blog, and I'm just an outsider looking in, so it's impossible for me to always clearly understand what you're experiencing. Your writing has made me care about you and your family, and to wish you all the best.


This is a heart-wrenching post. It's hard to fathom what you've been through - the combined joys and sorrows. I think you are brave to revisit the sad times. I've learned through some counseling that sometimes exhausting a memory by revisiting it in every painful way is the best, and maybe only, way to come to grips with it. Not to erase it, but to allow it to become an emotionally easier part of your life. Happy half-birthdays! (I'm trying to remember where the tune with the words "a very merry unbirthday, to you..." comes from?)

Thank you for writing such a beautiful post and including all of us in your family's story. I am so sorry that you didn't get to know Oliver and am sorry that we didn't get share his story as we have Charlie's. I think about you often on the other side of the world, and think both your sons are so lucky to have such an amazing father and family. I am always taken aback seeing new pictures of Charlie at just how far he has come. He's truly amazing.
I recently wrote a story (I'm a journalist) about stillbirth and miscarriage, and talked to people who had experienced these tragedies. One woman, whose daughter had died during birth, told me that it's not about 'getting over it', it's not about 'moving on' from losing a baby, it's just different as time passes. The baby, who they named Aster, is very much a part of their lives, and every year they celebrate her birthday.
All my best wishes to you and yours, and happy half-birthday Charlie! xx

I just knew that red-headed Charlie would look great in green. Let me know when he outgrows his current ensemble and I'll craft another, bigger one for the handsome lad!

What a milestone. Charlie looks adorable.


Love the outfit and the handsome bonnie model. Six months, he's truely a million dollar baby. I wish you all many, many six month birthdays.

Happy 6 months, Charlie! I have a feeling he will always have that protective brother looking after him...

Echo the last post before mine--hugs to all

That happy little face was so worth all the torment and trouble. However, I too, mourn with you over little Oliver, especially now that you've given me this beautiful portrait of him. I'm absolutely sure he knows how much his parents love and miss him.

I have always wished to have an out-of-body experience, but not if that's how to have one. What an interesting story, though. You've now done two things I've always wished to do: seen a ghost and had an out-of-body experience. May I touch you next time I see you?

I am glad we are reminded that Charlie is part of something larger and special. He will forever be linked with Oliver, and why not? Oliver is his brother.
I had already thought this before I saw the well meaning thoughts of poor Gordon.
I hope Charlie is always told the story of the day he was born. All children love this story because no matter what happened, it is dramatic and stars them! Some indeed are more dramatic than others but Oliver will never be forgotten because of your stories. I thank you for discussing Charlie's successes and will carry Oliver's story with me, as well.

Dear Danny,

Oliver will always be a part of your lives as was the baby I lost before I adopted my 2 great kids and then was suprised (to say the least when my Danny was born). I wish for you and Kendall the joy I recently felt when walking down the aisle at my Danny's wedding when you walk your Charlie to the chupah. Happy half birthday, Charlie and many, many more.

Gramma Marilyn

Happy birthday to your beautiful Charlie and your angel Oliver. I think it's great that you're celebrating your boys as often as you like. After 8 years, we still celebrate my daughter's birthday, her due date, and the day she came home from the hospital. Now that she's in school, she also gets a half birthday party since her actual birthday is during summer. Thank you once again for sharing your heartwarming story full of love for your 3 children with a stranger.

Dear Danny,
what a beautiful and moving post... Happy 6 months to dear Charlie and our best thoughts to dear Oliver, who'll always be remembered.
Love! Cristina

Happy half-birthday baby Charlie. I bet baby Oliver is smiling down on the family and feels a tad jealous that you're all together even though he's in heaven with his grandmom and an unlimited hot fudge sundae bar (or at least that's what I assume heaven is like).


This made me cry - please keep writing as much as you can about that day, as soon as you're ready - you are capturing it so well!

Happy Half-Birthday to Charlie!!



What a Horrific experience for you and Kendall...And Thank God, Charlie is doing so Beautifully!
There are Miracles all around us all the time.

Sending love to Kendall and you and Charlie and Oliver. My parents were kvelling about how delicious and adorable Charlie is. Mike and I can't wait to see you all and meet him ourselves one of these days soon.
xoxo darian

i was wondering how you and the family were doing so wandered to your blog. your post was so sweet and real, it made me teary. i'm so happy to hear about the great progress he and all of you have made these hard past months. hope we can meet the little guy some time when we're in LA. -miiri

A lot of people in our society are uncomfortable with grief and feel it is something to be gotten over with as quickly as possible. But grief is love, who wants to get over love?

Mazel Tov, all of you -- all of you.

This was difficult to read. I can only try to imagine how difficult it was to experience.

Your [and Kendall's] strength, compassion, intelligence and love for your sons is so moving. I admire your honesty and willingness to share so much. Your detailed descriptions of what happened and how you felt, interest me, but not in an inappropriate, unhealthy way.

Happy Half-Birthday to your sons. I like Neil's idea.

Blessings, Chris

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