Ease on Down the Road

 

Charlie has been waking up in such a happy mood this week. It’s so fantastic having him at home, I can’t bring myself to stop posting these photos. Please let me know when I turn into that obnoxious parent who can’t shut up about his kid (like I’m not already there?). At least I haven’t put any bumper stickers on my car proclaiming that my child was the Cedars-Sinai Baby of the Month. But oy, look at that punim, how can I not record these delicious stages of development?

We took Charlie to the pediatrician on Tuesday and as we were leaving a woman in the waiting room said, “Wow, he looks like he just came out yesterday!” Really? I was stunned by that comment because to me Charlie looks HUGE and feels like the sturdy five-month-old that he is even though I realize at eight and a half pounds he is the size of a full-term newborn. And of course this woman never saw our son when he weighed just over a pound. Every time someone asks us how old he is we trip all over ourselves. “Well, he was born over five months ago, but he’s really only seven weeks because he was born at 24 weeks, blah, blah, blah.” Too much information for total strangers who are just making conversation?

As I alluded to in my last post, now that we’re not facing imminent crisis (God-willing, pu, pu, pu), I’m experiencing some identify shifts. I’m trying to figure out my next steps in my work life and I’m also wondering what I’m going to write about on here. Scrolling back, I’m stunned at how many posts I’ve written about Charlie. Over the past five months only one post (when Ted Kennedy died) did not mention him at all. But I’ve been writing in this blog for almost five years. What the heck was I writing about before this?

Oh yeah, all sorts of crazy stuff. Old, obscure movies like the weird Ann Blyth film we watched this weekend called “Our Very Own.” Released in 1950, the film treated adoption as a dark, dirty little secret. When 16-year-old Blyth (who was actually 22 when she made the movie—and looked it) finds out she was adopted, her idyllic life falls apart, especially after an uncomfortable meeting with her sweet but wrong-side-of-the-tracks birth mother, poignantly played by Ann Dvorak. These days it’s inconceivable (I hope) to imagine parents not telling their children that they were adopted. Why lovely Jane Wyatt (pre-Father Knows Best) neglected to tell Blyth about her roots is perplexing—apparently she was worried that her daughter would feel “less than” her younger siblings who Wyatt gave birth to. 

The term “birth mother” didn’t exist in 1950 so every time they refer to Dvorak’s character they call her Ann’s “real mother.” Blyth’s spunky youngest sister is played to perfection by 12-year-old Natalie Wood who was such a delight to watch as a kid. 25-year-old Farley Granger appears as Ann’s hunky boyfriend. We met Granger a few years ago when he was here touting his autobiography about his closeted life in Hollywood. Blyth and Granger were huge stars back in the day but I’m not sure either has withstood the test of time. My favorite Farley Granger movie was Hitchcock’s “Strangers on a Train” where he becomes the hapless victim to a sociopath played by Robert Walker. Ann Blyth is best known for her portrayal of Joan Crawford’s horrific brat Veda in “Mildred Pierce.” (Did you know that Kate Winslet is now remaking “Mildred Pierce” for HBO? I can’t wait!) I thought it would have been so cool if the producers of “On Our Own” had hired Joan Crawford to play Blyth’s birth mother. Talk about a satisfying Big Reveal! Joan would have had a field day with her one big scene.

Thank God being adopted is no longer such a big deal. We had a fair number of adopted kids in my family and we always knew who they were, I don’t remember any stigma being attached to it or feeling that they were in any way less than “real” family members. On the other hand, it wasn’t something we ever brought up in casual conversation, it was fairly hush-hush. In Kendall’s family, back in the day, the adopted kids were left off the official family tree because they weren’t “blood.” Yikes.

So much for my writers’ block, it’s scary how quickly this kind of incessant rambling comes back to me. (Are my stats plummeting yet?) Before our hospital ordeal I also wrote a lot about all my “only in L.A.” events such as the “Sing-along Sound of Music” that Leah and I attended this past weekend at the Hollywood Bowl. We’ve gone to this annual event many times and it never disappoints. Watching a film in the sold-out Bowl with 18,000 other enthusiastic fans is something everyone should experience at least once. As always, the original Liesl, Charmian Carr, was there to sing a little “16 Going on 17” for us even though she is now 66 going on 67. Carr was clearly being groomed by 20th-Century Fox to be their next big young star, and she was quite good, having beat out established actresses such as Mia Farrow and Patty Duke for the role, so it always surprised me that she never made another film. She did a few TV things and then retired to raise her children. Can you think of anyone who’s made such a public career for herself after appearing in only one film? 

Carr joined host Melissa Peterman to judge the annual costume contest. This year it was surprisingly light on the drag queens and heavy on adorable young children portraying everything from “tea with jam and bread” (from the song “Do Re Mi”) to the marionettes in “The Lonely Goatherd.” My favorite costume was a family who recreated the entire gazebo scene between Liesl and Rolf complete with a shower-curtain gazebo and the kids who were dressed as trees with dolls hanging from them while another kid zoomed by in a cardboard car with real working lights. This represented the scene where the Von Trapp kids were climbing in the trees as Captain Von Trapp returned home in his car with the Baroness. As usual, I think Baroness Schrader got a bum rap from the hissing audience and I remained the only one out of 18,000 who cheered poor Eleanor Parker every time she appeared on screen. Lucky I wasn’t beaten to death by the crowd.

Oh, and I’m sure I’ll continue to have posts about my more public family members. I was so preoccupied last month that I missed the following cool profile of Wilco on “CBS Sunday Morning.” Much of it was shot at my sister’s house in Chicago (in the heart of the city, not “suburban Chicago” as the host inexplicably states at the beginning of the segment—I’m sure that drove my sister nuts). Check out the jamming in my nephew Spencer’s bedroom:

And yes, I will continue writing about the Magical Adventures of Charlie Miller.

Every day brings new miracles such as his voice suddenly returning earlier this week. I shouldn’t even say returning, he’s been silent since the day he was born. We thought it was just a result of his many intubations and his decreased lung capacity and were starting to really worry about it when all of a sudden he started letting out with major wails. Go, Charlie! His voice is so cute it sounds like an adult voice-over artist playing a baby. We go back to the neurosurgeon next week to make sure everything is kosher with his shunt and we have a range of other appointments coming up from pulmonary specialists to physical and occupational therapists. But we are so, so grateful to have him home with us and he seems to be enjoying every moment. 

Comments

[Maria Sosa]

You can't just mention Charlie's voice and expect us (well, okay me) to not get obsessed about hearing it. You must post audio!

[Danny]

Will do, Maria, as soon as I capture it on video!

[Julie R.]

I agree with Maria! I want Charlie's voice! I'm so happy for you all (Begone, evil eye!) and can't wait to meet Charlie in person. Do not stop posting his pictures--I love them.

[Jane]

Evolution.

We are all now captivated by Charlie. He was brought into our homes and hearts, and over the months we've all come to feel like his extended family. The child will never lack a place to stay when he starts globetrotting!

So evolution means, in this case, that this is now Charlie's blog as well as Danny's. It has to, because if I didn't get these pictures and updates, I'd feel robbed. :-)

[Yakira Heistand]

Oh when can I kiss him???? I'm so glad he's home. As much as I miss having little babies around I don't miss the midnight feedings and diapers and sleep deprivation. Enjoy!

[Pam G]

Thanks for another great update. Speaking of adoption views in the past . . . My mom was raised by her aunt and uncle after her mother died when she was two months old. This happened in 1928. It was only when my mom started working in the late 1940s and went to get a Social Security card that she discovered on her own that her parents weren't her parents and the last name she had used for 20 years wasn't actually legal since they never officially adopted her. Then she discovered one of her Uncles was actually her biological father and she had an older sister with three children living in another state whom she'd never been allowed to have contact with before. When she confronted her mom/dad (i.e., "Aunt/Uncle") about this they got angry with her for bringing it up and changing her name to her real legal name! Yeesh, could you imagine such a thing even being allowed to happen in today's world? A secret that big kept for over 20 years? No wonder my mom is so screwed up. Well, anyway, we're all glad to hear that Charlie continues to thrive. Keep the good news and cute photos coming!

[suzanne]

Lovely addition and I enjoyed the Wilco clip. I sometimes forget that it was Wilco that brought me here and for that I will always be an even larger fan. ☺
My mother and her sister were always introduced by my Grandmother in this way; "This is June, my step daughter and Barbara, my adopted daughter". They hated that and not only considered her their real mother but also that they were real sisters. Funny how people can be, no?
Can't wait for the audio!
Thanks again and again.

[La Framéricaine]

I'm am so delighted to know that the two of you parents are finally getting to have some simple, luxurious moments of just gushing and smushing over Charlie.

He is obviously so kissable that it would be very difficult not to stop once one got started. He is going to have one crowded little finger, that little guy!

BTW, I have a little sartorial gift for Charlie that he is going to have outgrown having never seen if you don't tell me where I can drive to deliver it personally. I'm afraid no other form of delivery will do. It may get too small as I'm driving to LA.

Amitiés,

[Elise]

I just couldn't be happier for you guys!! I am looking forward to hearing little Charlie's voice, bless his heart. :)

[your sister]

Plotzing. Again.

[Annika]

I would have cheered for the Baroness right along with you. I must go to the sing-along next year! I've been meaning to go since I moved to LA seven years ago.

[Cindy in Canada]

What a truly awesome boy!!

[Shari]

Great news about Charlie's voice! And thank you for posting the Wilco segment - it was one of the few weeks that I missed that show. I wonder why the reporter thought she was in the suburbs?

[maggie may]

This is wonderful, wonderful to read.

[Gordon]

I don't think I've ever seen a sweeter face on a baby. So nice to see that smile, after all he's been through. What a tough little guy. I can't help but think that he's meant to do something great in life.
--Gordon

[Jan]

Every picture you post of your smiling guy makes me grin, so keep the pictures coming. It's the best pick-me-up I know.
Jan

[Margie]

Looks like he has such a cheery disposition. I think I've said 'wow' in my comments a few times already and I still have to say it again. Wow. His face makes me feel happy. I don't know when I'll ever stop wanting to watch Charlie. Look forward to hearing him.

[K Wild]

I know it's impossible to say this based on photos alone, but little Charlie seems to have the sweetest expressions and a real sense of humor? It's been amazing watching personalities emerge in my children, and I'm so happy for you as you get to see Charlie's unfold. People told me that baby's initial traits stick with them, and I've found it to be true for my kids. I bet you Charlie will be a great and compassionate companion.

[Dr. Judy]

his smile is infectious.

[Chris]

You can NEVER post too many photos of or stories about Charlie. Never. Please don't stop.

I've been following your last few posts in my Reader. So glad your beautiful boy is home. He's the cutest little guy. Delicious is an understatement!

I enjoyed the Wilco piece. What a Cinderella [or Cinderfella] story! So cool!

[Malka Sabroe-JoHanson]

I have loved reading your blog for the last few months. Fell upon it when looking for an old movie. I love seeing photos of babies - they always make me smile, no matter what. Always a delight no matter what mood I am in. Thank you for sharing your this part of your life, it has grounded me during these months of the recession. A child's struggle and oh what a delightful child.
Malka of Malka in the Closet.

[Patrice]

Seeing and hearing about your little guy will never be annoying. I celebrate every time I look in, and I've sent healing thoughts to you all since he and his brother were born.

He is beautiful!

Patrice

[Erica M]

I enjoy your blogging about Charlie. If you return to your pre-baby subjects, please post the occasional Charlie update. Why do I cry every single time I visit this space? Must be something in the vents...

[Edelweiss Transplanted]

I agree. Audio, please!

Now you know the truth: Once you have a child, your heart really does walk around outside your body. Don't you dare stop writing about Charlie.

I met the real Maria from SOM when I was a teen. NOTHING like Julie Andrews, as I'm sure you've heard.

[Susan Buckley]

Sorry, Danny, but you can't ever stop writing about the True Adventures of Charlie Miller. He is way too adorably appealing with that divine smile and those bright eyes. His many fans want constant updates!!

xoxooxo Susan

[Kimberley]

What a great post - Charlie looks delicious. Keep posting the pictures, I love to see his smiley chubby little face.

[Maria Lilja]

Danny, Really, with all that Charlie, you, and your family has been through, your posts will never be that of an "obnoxious parent who can’t shut up about his kid"! This story has been one with high drama, and any day we get to see pix of his cute, happy mug, is a day everyone reading is happy! All the best.

[mary]

So happy you have Charlie home again! Please keep us updated on Charlie - just having read all that he and your family have been through, just opening this blog and seeing his adorable smiling face is like peeking in on a true miracle- it lifts my day and makes me count my blessings- thank you for sharing so much of your personal story.

[creatin]

As much as I miss having little babies around I don't miss the midnight feedings and diapers and sleep deprivation. Enjoy!

[OldOldLady Of The Hills]

Lovely sweet pictures, Danny...And I'm sure you won't have any problem turning on that fertile spigot of thoughts and feelings and stored information...! lol...In fact, you DID do it, today!
My fourth Blogging Anniversary is here and I give you full credit in the post I am just about ready to put up--after I leave here!

[Cristina]

Yeah, I agree with everybody! Please, please, please, keep writing about the beautiful Charlie!!

[Judy]

yes, i too love this blog, do i imagine charlie
has clara bow lips? Wow, he's adorable...I agree with everyone...it will be soon enough when he'll want his privacy.
i also love the wilco which i missed on tv...
keep writing...any thoughts on marek edelman and his death...the last commander of the warsaw ghetto? great obit in the times..an amazing life.