After 137 days in the Cedars-Sinai Neonatal Intensive Care
Unit, our son Charlie is scheduled to come home the day after tomorrow!
Woo-hoo! There are a few things that could delay that departure a bit but today
was the first time we were given an actual date. The fact that the date is
September 11th freaked me out for about half a second, but I guess that infamous spot on the calendar will now have some added (and quite joyful)
meaning for us.
The reason the doctors were reluctant to commit to a date until today is that we’ve been playing around with Charlie’s oxygen for weeks. As you can see in the above photo, he’s been off oxygen completely (except during feeds) and they were trying to see if he could go home without any oxygen at all. He’s just on the border of needing it but even though he barely gets a whisper (his flow is 1/16th of a liter for those of you who know what that means) it makes a big difference in his saturation levels. So, finally, minutes after making the decision to try to wean off all oxygen for two more days to see what will happen, the neonatologist said fuck it, she'll just send him home on oxygen for a while so that we can leave this week. (Okay, she didn’t actually say “fuck it” but that was the idea!) The photos here are the last ones you’ll see of Charlie’s unadorned face for a while—he went back on nasal cannulas just after I took them. I’m fine having him stay on oxygen for as long as it takes his lungs to fully develop. It just means that wherever we go we’ll have to shlep along his portable oxygen tank and the apnea monitor that will be connected to leads held in place by a large Velcro belt across his upper chest.
I am so full of excitement and emotion that I can barely speak...or write—I’m headed back to the NICU for our final 48-hour stint. It seems hard to believe that Charlie is finally about to head out into the world after arriving 16 weeks early last April. I will miss so many people in the NICU and am bursting with gratitude for all of the incredible individuals who kept our son alive all this time through their medical expertise, care, compassion, prayer, and positive thoughts. And the journey will continue with Charlie—we already have appointments for a whole new slate of medical professionals outside the confines of the NICU. Kendall and I both had to work through some feelings about leaving the place where our other son died (inches from where Charlie currently resides) but I know deep in my heart that Oliver is not stuck there in that hospital, he will be coming home with his brother in his own way.
This is the best news ever! I am so happy for you guys.
Posted by: Annika | September 09, 2009 at 05:21 PM
Danny and Kendall~
Charlie looks so alert~and beautiful.
It's been such a journey for all of you. Thanks do much for sharing this with us on your blog.
Enjoy his homecoming~
Love, Lo-He-Ha~
sandy
Posted by: sandy martin | September 09, 2009 at 05:25 PM
Endless Mazel Tov Danny and Kendall, what amazing news! He looks so adorable and ready to go home! Sending you loads of best wishes on your parenting journey w/ him!
Posted by: susie specter | September 09, 2009 at 05:34 PM
Yes!!!!
Posted by: Edelweiss Transplanted | September 09, 2009 at 05:35 PM
Danny I'm so ecstatic! Gosh Charlie just gets cuter and cuter. That 2nd picture of him I swear he's making a "Danny" face!
Love you guys!
Posted by: Maria Sosa | September 09, 2009 at 05:39 PM
yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted by: m.yahn | September 09, 2009 at 05:51 PM
very exciting!
Posted by: Erica M | September 09, 2009 at 05:52 PM
Danny and Kendall....This is the best news!! YAY! I am so happy for all of you. He is beautiful and I'm sure he will be happy to be home in his own crib with his amazing mom and dad! Take care of yourselves!!! I will keep sending good and healthy thoughts your way.
Posted by: Arlene Silverman Andresen | September 09, 2009 at 05:57 PM
YES! Kurt and I are absolutely THRILLED for you guys! Our little family is sending yours a ton of love.
xx
Posted by: Sarah | September 09, 2009 at 05:57 PM
danny--i kinda gave up on facebook so have not seen your posts lately . what a nice surprise to come back on and see such a great picture and learn such wonderful news. He really looks like a cute baby. I am very happy for all of you.
Posted by: sharon weinstein | September 09, 2009 at 05:58 PM
he looks so dang healthy! and SO CUTE.
Posted by: maggie may | September 09, 2009 at 06:00 PM
Wonderful news, Danny & Kendall, Leah & Charlie!
I wish you all much mazel (luck) and brachot (blessings) that all should go well with the homecoming, and Charlie should continue to get stronger.
Posted by: Pearl | September 09, 2009 at 06:03 PM
Wow wow wow! 'Swonderful! I am so so so happy for you all! You and Kendall can handle the oxygen tank, no problem. I can't wait to hear about Charlie's first days at home.
Love,
Julie
Posted by: Julie R. | September 09, 2009 at 06:54 PM
YAY!!!!
Posted by: Danusia | September 09, 2009 at 07:03 PM
HURRAY! I am so happy for you guys. And yes... Oliver will always be with you. You're not leaving him behind, and you never will.
Posted by: Kitty | September 09, 2009 at 07:27 PM
I am plotzing with excitement and happiness!!!
OY!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: your sister | September 09, 2009 at 07:34 PM
heart is breaking and exploding all at once!
so happy for you two!
Posted by: gorillabuns | September 09, 2009 at 07:38 PM
YAY!!! Mazel Tov! We are so incredibly happy for you! He is SO adorable, and I think he looks just like you, Danny. Can't wait to hear all about your first weekend home. I hope everything goes smoothly (pu, pu, pu).
Posted by: Barbara | September 09, 2009 at 07:39 PM
so happy for all of you!! he has such a danny face. just enjoy that sweet littl boy!
Posted by: debbie rose galo | September 09, 2009 at 08:02 PM
Fantastic news! Fingers and toes crossed for everything to go according to plan.
Posted by: Michele | September 09, 2009 at 08:18 PM
Oy! What a pisk (face). Now that I've seen him up close and personal, I can attest to how gorgeous Charlie is and how happy and elated you, Kendall and Leah must be to be bringing him home. Much love and mazel to all of you and don't forget I'm up for a diaper change (but not too early in the morning puleeze!)
Love,
Marilyn
Posted by: Marilyn Molnar | September 09, 2009 at 08:22 PM
I've been caught up in your story for a couple weeks now. I'm so happy for your family and so impressed by the strength of your son. My son and I say prayers for your lovely little guy before bed. You have a lot of support (that you never even knew about!) behind you.
Posted by: Shannon | September 09, 2009 at 08:22 PM
G-d Bless. Still praying!
Posted by: Heather P. | September 09, 2009 at 08:27 PM
Wow. Just wow.
Posted by: Margie | September 09, 2009 at 08:28 PM
Mazel Tov!! You are so right about the people in the NICU. It takes an incredible person to work in that environment.
Posted by: Ruth Ann | September 09, 2009 at 09:16 PM
Chubby Cheeks is going home! Hip Hip Horray! OMG he is so cute!!!! : )
Posted by: Elaine D'Ippolito | September 09, 2009 at 09:18 PM
Dear Danny,
You fooled me. I take a couple of hours off from checking your blog, thinking it won't be posted 'til late at night, and what happens? The rest of the world learns the glorious news before I do!
I'm so thrilled for you and Kendall and the yummy boy! Remember, Marilyn & I will be there any time you need us, even in the morning.
Love,
Cynthia
Posted by: Cynthia Reich | September 09, 2009 at 11:34 PM
Oh Danny, I am holding my breath that he does get to come home on Friday! I can't wait for you to experience the joy of bringing your child into the sun for the first time. I am so happy for you.
xoxo
Posted by: heather... | September 09, 2009 at 11:40 PM
I am so happy for you. Thank heavens. God bless.
Posted by: Jen | September 10, 2009 at 12:22 AM
That is such great news!
I was flipping through the web about some other stuff and I came across an organisation called CLIMB (www.climb-support.org), who are a support network for people who have lost a child in a multiple birth. I don't know if you know of them already, or aren't into the whole support group thing, but I thought it couldn't hurt to share, and to know that there are people who know what you are going through. There's even a page dedicated to dads.
I'm so excited to see Charlie looking so happy and cute and cherubic, and can't wait to see the next post when he's at home with you. Good luck to you all.
Posted by: Kimberley | September 10, 2009 at 01:47 AM
You guys are going home tomorrow?! WOW, congratulations! Make sure to get video of Charlie leaving the hospital.
I'm so excited for you, Kendall and Charlie!
Posted by: Jeff | September 10, 2009 at 04:51 AM
hooray!
Posted by: Dorise | September 10, 2009 at 05:10 AM
I am smiling ear to ear! Mazel tov!!!
Posted by: Elise | September 10, 2009 at 05:15 AM
He's such a pretty little boy.
I'm happy that he's getting paroled after all this time in confinement, however loving and dedicated.
Good luck starting Operation Charlie Homecoming! Good thing you're now a mature 50 year old. You'll be able to handle it all and more!
Posted by: La Framéricaine | September 10, 2009 at 06:43 AM
Danny, I commented yesterday, but realized now that in a week's time is Rosh Hashanah...a time of new beginnings for Jews around the world...certainly a time of new beginnings for the Miller family.
May your homecoming and the days ahead be filled with much honey-sweetness.
Posted by: Pearl | September 10, 2009 at 06:56 AM
Oh happy day!!! Your posts have been so touching, I can't wait to hear about your new life at home with Charlie! You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: mary | September 10, 2009 at 07:17 AM
Marvelous news! I'm thrilled for you and your family.
Posted by: jason | September 10, 2009 at 07:57 AM
Everyone has already said it, but here's another person so, so happy for you guys. And my thoughts stay with those folks & kiddos who are still fighting their battles in the NICU. You've given me a glimpse into a world I never really knew anything about.
Posted by: KWild | September 10, 2009 at 08:30 AM
Charlie is so adorable. Mazel Tov. I'm so happy for all of you that Charlie can go home. I sometimes imagine him at 13, looking at pics of himself in the NicU going, "Really? Huh. You sure that was me? I'm so strong and healthy."
Posted by: liza | September 10, 2009 at 08:33 AM
Mazel Tov!
Posted by: maggie, dammit | September 10, 2009 at 08:36 AM
So happy for yall! Go Charlie!! My birthday is on the 12th. I will give this year's wish to Charlie, and blow out the candles while thinking of him finally at home.
Posted by: Missy | September 10, 2009 at 09:15 AM
At last! Now health and good times ahead.
Posted by: Marc and Judy Davis | September 10, 2009 at 09:35 AM
Congrats to Charlie and to your beautiful family! Good luck and thanks for sharing your story along the way!
Posted by: Candi Ince | September 10, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Oh, that's so wonderful. I'm so glad you get to finally bring your boy home. I cant' wait to read about the transition.
Posted by: churlita | September 10, 2009 at 11:20 AM
You finally get to bring Charlie home! Huzzah! and on a very special day too. It was a day that was very sad, but also was a day for Americans to come together (and the world too) to be united in its outrage against a very small group of hateful people. We were never more proud to be Americans.
After the 9-11 attacks, Rob Suggs, an Atlanta, Georgia, writer and artist , wrote a poem called "The Binch," in direct homage to Theodore Geisel "Dr.Seuss".
The Binch
By Rob Suggs
Every U down in Uville liked the U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of U-ville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! The whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
He stood facing U-ville, the part that was urban.
"They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
"They're raising their families! They're going to church!
They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"
Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
And abide by their U and S values and rules.
And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand all united, each U and each S,
And they'd sing U-ville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"
All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand, and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
"I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
And he had an idea -- an idea that might work!
The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
"They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
"And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"
The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
Instead he heard something that started quite low,
And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow--
And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
And he couldn't believe it--they started to sing!
He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any towers at all!
He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young
Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.
So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers,
It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless
May God continue to bless Charlie as he continues through life, and you, Kendall and Leah too, as you face any challenges that lay ahead. Warmest regards
Posted by: john armstrong | September 10, 2009 at 11:26 AM
He is SO CUTE!!!!!
Posted by: Hilary | September 10, 2009 at 03:08 PM
Happy News!! Good luck!
Posted by: Pam G | September 10, 2009 at 03:30 PM
I've been following along for some time now, and this is just marvelous news! My son was born on 9/11, and like you, the date really freaked me out at first. But it is nice to have a reason to celebrate the day rather than loathe it.
Congratulations to you and yours!
Posted by: Karen | September 10, 2009 at 05:50 PM
Go Charlie! That's wonderful news :)
Posted by: Julie | September 10, 2009 at 06:26 PM
SWEET !!
Posted by: Gordon | September 10, 2009 at 07:30 PM
Congratulations!
Fingers are crossed for a good homecoming.
Posted by: Melinda | September 10, 2009 at 08:36 PM
So exciting! We are a phone call away any time of the day or night when you get home -- and I mean that with all my heart and so does Carl...wait till you get him home into the quiet, its so amazing to be there, in your cozy home, with no buzzing or beeping or nurses or strangers....heavenly. I am so happy for you. Let me know if I can help you tomorrow in any way. I can't wait to see him again! :)
Posted by: Amanda Mueller | September 10, 2009 at 09:13 PM
What wonderful news!!
Posted by: Sally | September 11, 2009 at 04:38 AM
Sending love, love, love...
Fake Grandma
Posted by: Elaine Soloway | September 11, 2009 at 05:38 AM
Happy Welcome Home Day from Oklahoma!
I have been following the progress and thought today would be a good day to scream it from the roof tops
HHHHOOOOOOORRRRRAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!
much love and god bless
have fun with that precious baby boy!
Posted by: layla | September 11, 2009 at 06:52 AM
It's the 11th. I hope as I was reading this and as I'm typing this comment that you are receiving final instructions and dotting "i's" and crossing "t's" in preparation for Charlie's homecoming. Duke still prays for Charlie Miller EVERY night. I think it's becoming a compulsion! He's willing your little boy to soar!
Without exaggeration, Charlie is one of the cutest baby boys I've ever seen. He's adorable! So excited for you and Kendall!
Your last sentence moves me...
Posted by: Chris | September 11, 2009 at 07:07 AM
WHAT AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL NEWS!!!... and such a handsome little boy!
Posted by: Mark Greenberg | September 11, 2009 at 10:05 AM
WONDERFUL NEWS!! Congratulations to you all! What a great way to turn this tragic date around to something so good!
Posted by: anita | September 11, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Great news, I've been away from the puter. So when Bruce Told me last night and I was just so darn happy I just wanted to explode. It made my day. I can only imagine the elation you are all feeling. Best of everything for your family. Most of all thing wonderful and great for Charlie. WELCOME HOME
Posted by: Patsy | September 11, 2009 at 01:59 PM
Sorry let me correct that last sentence. Most of all, everything wonderful and great for Charlie.
Posted by: Patsy | September 11, 2009 at 02:06 PM
Hello Little Man Charlie,
Welcome home! Forever or until you go off to college. :-) I hope and pray that every day from now until 90 years out is happy, healthy, and full of beautiful adventures.
Posted by: Jane | September 11, 2009 at 05:08 PM
I am late getting the news. I am assuming everything worked out and you brought him home today. Wow that is so fabulous. Much love to all--MAZELTOV!
Posted by: Laurie | September 11, 2009 at 08:26 PM
That is fantastic news! He is looking so beautiful and healthy! Wishing you all the best.
Posted by: RD | September 11, 2009 at 08:59 PM
Marvelous! Wonderful! (Others have already expressed it better than I can, I see.) All the best to Charlie and the entire family.
Posted by: Randy | September 12, 2009 at 07:26 AM
AWESOME NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAY FOR YOU GUYS!!!!!!! I'm almost crying in happiness for you all.
Posted by: Brett Hickman | September 12, 2009 at 08:17 AM
Congratultions - your familylife of 3 will now begin...best wishes and heart felt congratulation.
Annie Black - Chicago
Posted by: ANNIE BLACK | September 12, 2009 at 09:36 AM
you do not know me...i got to your blog because my son is a wilco fan...i started reading it when kendall was pregnant and have lived through all your trials and tribulations...i cried along with you...i am a jewish grandmother living in southwest florida and have 8 grandchildren...i still cannot stop crying after reading about charlie going home...he is a beautiful baby and hope to read only good things...mazel tov...
marjorie d.
Posted by: marjorie d. | September 12, 2009 at 06:04 PM
i am so happy for you!
Posted by: juval | September 13, 2009 at 06:39 PM
Wonderful news to hear!
Posted by: Pam G | September 15, 2009 at 06:11 AM