Oh, how I miss the women in my family. The men, too, of course, but today I’ve been thinking about the amazing group of matriarchs that are no longer with us—from my great-grandmother, Alta Toba, to my many great-aunts and cousins who were such an important part of my life growing up. I especially miss my grandmother, Anita Karoll, and my mom, Judy Miller, whose energy I always feel around Charlie and who I wish more than anything were here to guide him, kvell over him, worry about him, pinch his fat cheeks, and basically eat him alive as I know they would be doing. Charlie is so lucky to have his wonderful grandmothers, Betsy Hailey and Marilyn Roberts, his loving aunts, and many other dynamic women in his life, but during these difficult months I have often thought about the large number of inspiring women on both sides of his family tree who I know are there with him (and certainly with Oliver) on so many levels.
I have strong women on the brain today partly because during a break from the hospital I went to see the Aviva Kempner documentary, “Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Goldberg,” that just opened in Los Angeles. Kempner also directed the superb documentaries, "The Partisans of Vilna" and "The Life and Times of Hank Greenberg." This film is about TV pioneer Gertrude Berg, a woman who was a huge success back in the day but who is sadly almost forgotten today. Berg basically invented the sitcom but is given scant attention for the dynamo she was in the entertainment industry including the fact that she single-handedly wrote over 1200 scripts for her quintessential Jewish mama persona. I included a preview of this film last year in a post I wrote 35,000 feet off the ground as I was approaching New York City. I so love the character of Molly Goldberg, especially because she reminds me of so many of my relatives.
When I got back to the hospital I felt that Charlie and I were surrounded by these vivacious, dynamic, often challenging but always interesting women. I will tell Charlie about all of them as time goes by as I know Kendall will share stories of her beloved ancestors. I ache as I remember these one-of-a-kind women, but I also laugh as I think of their humor, wit, intelligence, courage, chutzpah, and neuroses. I’m not saying they were perfect and I’m sure some of their child-rearing philosophies would curl your hair but they were an amazing group of women who will always live on in my heart. There is a Yiddish expression (oops, it's Hebrew, I should have known that—see correction below—I got confused because of my video soundtrack featuring the Barry Sisters singing in Yiddish) “eishes chayil” that means a woman of valor, sort of like the female version of a “mensch” and that describes the women in my family perfectly.
I’m sitting just outside the NICU right now and about to go back in for another late-night feeding. Charlie had a great day today and is happily taking every other feeding by mouth. He is up to 5 lbs. 12 oz. and if my dearly departed relatives could see him they would grab his fat little thighs and shout “kinehora!” Below is Charlie’s homage to the “eishes chayil” on my side of his family tree. Here are some of the women, those long gone and those still with us, who will always be part of his life.
This is such lovely remembrance. Thank you for sharing. The power of a womanly love is such a beautiful thing!
Posted by: maggie may | August 02, 2009 at 10:51 PM
Eshes Chayil is Hebrew, not Yiddish, and it is the text that any pious man and husband would read on shabbos night after the kiddush. You can read it to Kendall, and for your guidance, it is located in Proverbs 31-10 to the end of the chapter.
I have it sung, let me see if I can make it a mp3 for you to play to Charlie. It's never too early to remind our sons of the value of an אשת חיל !
Posted by: Otir | August 02, 2009 at 11:20 PM
Dear Danny,
Our Charlie's looking good !
Please label the pics of your relatives. I would like to know who's who. Thanks.
Posted by: Gordon | August 02, 2009 at 11:32 PM
Still praying!
I'm so pleased that he's 5 pounds and 12 oz!
That's so great! G-d Bless!
Posted by: Heather P. | August 02, 2009 at 11:57 PM
Watching it with my mother. And she feels the same as Gordon. She wants to know who is who! Can never please a Jewish woman...
She sends regards.
Posted by: Neil | August 03, 2009 at 04:24 AM
The video clip of the matriarchs is fabulous. It's obvious they are caring for Oliver and are now boosting Charlie's recovery. You can just see it in the eyes of the women and the smile of the baby.
xoxo
Fake Grandma
Posted by: Elaine Soloway | August 03, 2009 at 05:33 AM
Okay, I added captions to the video as best I could. Just made me realize all the great women I left out because I didn't have photographs!
Posted by: Danny | August 03, 2009 at 08:07 AM
Charlie is looking great!! The women in your family were and are
BEAUTIFUL! Charilie is one lucky kid!
xo,
Bulia
Posted by: Julia Adams | August 03, 2009 at 08:44 AM
Danny,
I see so much family resemblance among your kids and their ancestors. Leah looks a lot like Anne Korolnek (if I read the caption correctly), one of her great great aunts. Thanks for including Kendall's voice in the video. Charlie's continued weight gain is wonderful!
Love,
Julie
Posted by: Julie R. | August 03, 2009 at 09:05 AM
You are the Jewish Kennedy's.
Posted by: Leslie | August 03, 2009 at 09:23 AM
Here is what I promised, Danny. I hope you enjoy it (it's a completely different style of course, and now I feel terrible that I may have interfered with your own post and wonderful tribute to the women in your life!).
And by the way, I was wrong, it is sung before kiddush, and not after.
Posted by: Otir | August 03, 2009 at 09:34 AM
Wonderful tribute video. Leah looks so much like her female relatives from previous generations!
And Charlie is getting so healthy. Terrific!
Posted by: Pam G | August 03, 2009 at 09:35 AM
Wow Danny, you've got some great looking women in your family. You're mother was beautiful! I see where Leah gets it. Charlie looks so big and plump!
Posted by: Campbell | August 03, 2009 at 09:37 AM
Your mother looks like a movie star...I see her in your sister and in Leah.
Charlie was born a very rich boy. I hope that as he grows, he will value and love the legacy of family as much as you and Kendall do.
Posted by: Jane | August 03, 2009 at 11:17 AM
Dear Danny,
What a legacy your Charlie has! The smile on his face tells it all and seeing and hearing Kendall holding him is beautiful. Keep on singing, tantas.
Love,
Marilyn
Posted by: Marilyn Molnar | August 03, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Danny, I backtracked your video from Charlie to Mom (Judy) when she was an infant in Anita's arms...they have one face!!! Take a good look...and what an honor to be among the family matriarchs, your loving cousin, Betty
Posted by: betty | August 03, 2009 at 01:59 PM
Nice, Danny. Really nice.
Posted by: La Framéricaine | August 03, 2009 at 02:52 PM
Wow Danny:
Those red genes run so strong and deep in your family. Your son looks great and growing so big. Mazel Tov. How do you find the time to put all this together, do you ever sleep?
Sam
Posted by: Sam Wengroff | August 03, 2009 at 04:43 PM
I loved the whisper of a grin on Charlie's face when you came back to him. He's a dashing little man, he is.
Posted by: quinn cummings | August 03, 2009 at 10:22 PM
I am so glad to hear about Charlie's weight gain! He's sooo adorable!
Love the tribute video... what a wonderful gift for Charlie and for your entire family.
Posted by: Beth | August 03, 2009 at 11:05 PM
Amazing video family tree of powerful Jewish women. He's in good hands (which include yours, too).
Posted by: david | August 04, 2009 at 02:22 PM
Thanks, all. Gulp—I spelled my own sister's name wrong! It should be Susan Rae Miller Tweedy, of course! Sorry, Sue.
Posted by: Danny | August 04, 2009 at 03:00 PM
Hi Danny!
Checking in and have to add that Charlie is looking so handsome! You are creating the greatest tribute to Charlie and Oliver and as always I am so inspired by your gifts.
Ok, so, you know, the true "auteur" or "star" in our family is "Rockhawk." We went his little inside joke today via Amazon c/o Tony M. Mgmt. My girls took ownership of the one that was supposed to land in the vicinity of the stage in Bezerkeley and so it goes. I am hoping it will go from TMM to Rockhawk at home. Should land in NY in a week.
Our very best to you all! Sending love & light your way.
Charmaine, Avery & Lowry
Posted by: Charmaine | August 04, 2009 at 08:10 PM
Danny, I suspect you and Kendall will get sent this a million times, but just in case: Weird Al spoofs the White Stripes and pays homage to Charlie's Uncle Charles Nelson Reilly in his new video. I hope those of you who knew him find it a great tribute and not insulting:
http://www.spinner.com/2009/08/04/weird-al-spoofs-white-stripes-in-c-n-r-video/
Posted by: Mary | August 04, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Charlie looks wonderful! I love his cute little smiles. What a beautiful family of redheads!
Posted by: Sally | August 05, 2009 at 04:57 AM
Charlie looks great and so do both of you!
This is from today's Trib and I thought of you and Sue since there are Lounge Ax references in the article and in the comment section
http://leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/turn_it_up/2009/08/schubas-owners-to-open-new-midsized-concert-venue-lincoln-hall.html
Posted by: Scott Gilbert | August 05, 2009 at 09:09 AM
Glamorous redheads, my God! And Charlie looking kissable!
Posted by: amba | August 06, 2009 at 12:46 AM
Hi Danny! It's Sheila, your cousin! My mom(Marilyn) and I send our prayers and best wishes for you and your family! Charlie is beautiful! I'm so glad I got to see this!
Posted by: Sheila Crays | August 06, 2009 at 10:26 PM
What a WONDERFUL Group of women....What a Legacy! I loved hearing the Barry Sisters singing once again...I actually saw them perform in Las Vegas back in the 1950's....! PERFECT Music for this lovely rich Video!
Posted by: OldOldLady Of The Hills | August 09, 2009 at 02:00 AM
Dear Danny! Thank you for sharing, we still are praying for your Family.God bless you.
Posted by: saralewa | August 23, 2009 at 01:45 PM