In a few weeks it will be twenty years since Kendall and I first met. Yikes! I think I’ve already told the story about meeting her at a wedding at the Bel Air Hotel in August 1989. I was a month shy of my 30th birthday and Kendall was practically pre-pubescent at age 23. I had just by chance read her book (which I had taken out from the library) and recognized her from the cover. “Are you Kendall Hailey?” I asked in the blazing heat of the outdoor cocktail reception. Our path took many twists and turns following that hot August day. How would we have responded if Glinda the Good Witch had floated down in her bubble and told us over smoked salmon tartlets that fifteen years later we would be married? Would we have choked on our kosher rumaki if Glinda then mentioned that twenty years later we would have twin boys together? Twenty years?! We were both in our twenties then and had countless life experiences ahead of us, both together and apart. After several attempts at a relationship back in the early 1990s, Kendall and I went our separate ways. I got married and had a child. Kendall got engaged to someone else. But in the end we found our way back to each other, thank God.
These past 76 days have certainly been the most trying period in our lives. Kendall’s long-awaited and joyful pregnancy ended abruptly without warning and with great tragedy. Our beloved son Oliver died in our arms after 12 agonizing hours. Our other son Charlie has spent the past 11 weeks in intensive care and has about that many left to go. We’ll be at his side for much of Kendall’s 43rd birthday today.
Despite the daily terror of this situation, there’s no one on the planet I’d rather be sharing it with. I’m so moved every time I see Charlie gazing up with love at his mama. He is smitten and so is she. No one should have to experience all that Kendall has gone through these past months and I’ve never loved her more for the way she's moved through it all. She is a woman of amazing courage and strength, and Charlie is the luckiest baby in the world to have her as his mommy. And we are the luckiest parents to have him. Yesterday was another jittery day filled with endless bradies and desats. Because our son’s white blood cell count was up, a new antibiotic was started in case he has yet another infection. I only pray this does nothing to delay his surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning.
For today, Charlie has asked me to help him wish his mom the happiest of birthdays. He specifically requested the participation of some of his favorite performers: Charles Nelson Reilly, who he is named after, Harpo Marx (née Adolph), Shelley Winters, and Queen Latifah. Kendall, here is a very special message from your baby boy:
Happy birthday, Kendall. May it be full up of love.
Posted by: Leightongirl | July 12, 2009 at 06:37 AM
Watching the two of them looking at each other with such love brings tears to my eyes. I hope you all have a wonderful day together today.
Posted by: Sally | July 12, 2009 at 06:50 AM
He's growin gup before our eyes!!
Happy Birthday, Kendall -- and may you all share many more happy occasions together.
Posted by: david | July 12, 2009 at 07:03 AM
That was such an amazingly sweet video, and the picture of Leah & Kendall is precious!
Happy Birthday, Kendall!
Posted by: Jane | July 12, 2009 at 07:22 AM
Kendall hon, I've never met you though I've grown to feel I know you pretty well. Glad that you got to meet Bob when he was out in LA and glad that you have made one of my most favoritist people in the whole wide world so very happy and complete! I hope to meet you one day, and your precious little baby boy too. Happy Birthday!!!
Posted by: Maria Sosa | July 12, 2009 at 07:28 AM
A birthday once, a birthday twice, I hope this birthday is especially nice! Many happy happy joy joy moments to you all today! You are one lucky woman dear Kendall!
Posted by: susie specter | July 12, 2009 at 07:56 AM
Dear Kendall,
To You and Milton Berle-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!
Love,
Helena, John and Bammie
Posted by: Helena, John and Bammie | July 12, 2009 at 08:23 AM
Loved the video and picture. Nice you could work Charles Nelson Reilly into this birthday tribute. Happy birthday to Kendall and best of luck in the week ahead.
Posted by: Pam G | July 12, 2009 at 09:26 AM
Kendall...we love you!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
xxxooo
Susie, Jeff, Spencer and Sammy
Posted by: your sister | July 12, 2009 at 09:44 AM
Dear Danny,
In the midst of trying times, it's easy to overlook some of the most important people and occasions. Good for you, for posting this tribute to your dear wife Kendall for her birthday. I already know all about her. I was born under the sign of Cancer, too (July5th). Happy Birthday Kendall !
Posted by: Gordon | July 12, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Wishing a beautiful woman a beautiful birthday. Sending much love and wishing only the best of everything -- to you all... Happy, happy birthday, Kendall!
Posted by: Barbara | July 12, 2009 at 01:36 PM
Happy Birthday Kendall, I am sending prayers to your baby boy
Posted by: maggie may | July 12, 2009 at 01:54 PM
I loved those little knit hats in the NICU. My son (who is now 6, weighing in at 2lbs. at 28 weeks)still has it a few of them. We marvel that his head was ever that small. Happy Birthday to Kendall and blessings to your family.
Posted by: Alexa | July 12, 2009 at 02:56 PM
Dear Kendall,
It's very clear that your son is giving you loving looks for your birthday. What a gift! Please enjoy the day and the thousands more to come with your little Charlie.
Hugs to all,
Cynthia
Posted by: Cynthia Reich | July 12, 2009 at 04:30 PM
Dear Kendall,
Here's my birthday wish. When Danny is wishing you a Happy Birthday one year from today, he's writing "Remember how overwhelming everything around Kendall's last birthday was? And isn't it amazing how everything has worked out so very well?"
Have a lovely birthday with your adoring family.
Posted by: quinn cummings | July 12, 2009 at 05:16 PM
Kendall,
Happy birthday. Everything good that Danny said is true.
Love,
Julie
Posted by: Julie R. | July 12, 2009 at 06:01 PM
This video is so sweet. Charlie has adorably huge ears.
Posted by: Campbell | July 13, 2009 at 02:57 AM
What a beautiful tribute to your wife. She's almost exactly a year younger than me. Happy birthday, Kendall!
Posted by: churlita | July 13, 2009 at 10:50 AM
I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 18. We also we unable (not ready) to accept fate. 20 years later we got married, so 20 must be a lucky number, at least that's how I choose to see it.
So glad Charlie looks so well.
Posted by: Cleo Gascoyne | July 13, 2009 at 11:58 AM
Your relationship sounds like a great love story. I say this because it sounds a lot like my life with my husband.
Happy Birthday Kendall!
Posted by: gorillabuns | July 13, 2009 at 12:40 PM
Beautiful post. All the best to both of you, and Charlie is looking so great! Kimberley
Posted by: Kimberley | July 13, 2009 at 02:36 PM
Happy Birthday, Kendall!
What a great Mom you are! Charlie is so lucky to have you and Danny as he fights his heroic daily battles.
Love from all of us,
Andrew, Rosalinda, Elisa, Sophia, Joseph, and Gina
Posted by: Andrew Forsythe | July 13, 2009 at 05:24 PM
Happy Birthday, Dear Kendall!
Loved Charlie's newest video -- Look how alert he is!
He is soaking it all in.
Sending lots of love and good thoughts.
Lori
Posted by: Lori Kirkland Baker | July 13, 2009 at 07:34 PM
Two days late, but the wish is still fresh: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENDALL. Enjoyed the video, music, and latest view of sweet Charlie.
xoxo
Fake Grandma
Posted by: Elaine Soloway | July 14, 2009 at 05:30 AM
Kendall--Only another musical video could be a good enough response to the picture of you and Charlie showing so much tenderness and love.
Happy birthday and many happy returns of the (good parts) of the day.
Posted by: Margie | July 14, 2009 at 11:56 AM
Another frustrating time at a computer but as i sit with earphones in the library, nothing comes out & the person who works here was no good. But at least i see the visual part which is so loving. Pu pu pu
ah, what a beautiful love story of mother and son, and a great birthday gift...to many more beautiful video birthdays, I toast you all
thanks for the updates.
Posted by: judy frank | July 14, 2009 at 02:44 PM
Danny, I have been reading your story since Neil first linked to it on Twitter. I have not commented because it is so hard to know what to say. How to express both sorrow and joy for someone you have never met. Today, though, I must speak up to wish Kendall a happy birthday. I had no idea that your Kendall was Kendall Hailey, whose book I have read so many times. I have always secretly thought of her as a friend (or at least a kindred spirit) and I wish her the happiest birthday possible (even if I am a few days late).
Posted by: Annika | July 14, 2009 at 03:46 PM
I read Kendall's book as a teenager, saw her play in Pasadena and just always was thankful to have had a role model like her when it mattered. I just now thought to look her up to see what she is doing and came across your blog. This video is so lovely and it makes me incredibly happy to see that she found her soulmate - that kind of connection certainly is what makes life's tragedies bearable and the joys so incredibly sweet. Mazel Tov on beautiful Charlie.
Posted by: Greer Olenick | April 10, 2010 at 05:29 PM