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« Five Life Lessons I Learned in the NICU | Main | No Day But Today »

July 21, 2009


Charlie looks so great! I don't think I've ever seen a cuter baby. It's so nice seeing his entire face!

You're doing an amazing job of writing this all down. If I were your editor, I would have begun the post with your final paragraphs to avoid giving everybody a heart attack. :) I didn't know where you were taking us, and I'm glad we landed safely. Yay for intense and productive therapy sessions. Charlie is lookin' good, prayers for Kendall as you're bossing her around in the NICU! :)

She's no Ethyl Merman...

What a post! What a video clip! What a beautiful son you have there, Danny! Charlie is so fortunate to have been born to Kendall and you. So much love, awareness, understanding, humor, passion, compassion.
Again, thanks so much for sharing with us this amazing journey you are all on together.
Constantly holding you all in my thoughts.

Oh dear, for some reason the wounds on your hands made me think of stigmata....but that's my recurring metaphor for the burdens we have to bear in life so I guess its not so far-fetched. Lovely post.

"One of my biggest life lessons is understanding that feelings are not always “either/or” but more often “and.”

Thanks Danny for that line. It's helpful to all of us. And thanks again for sharing this post and Charlie's progress. But can you switch the roses photo to lively and colorful? I'd enjoy a bit of manic right now.

Fake Grandma

OK...another amazing day and post and another day I start with tears and the realization that when our children are good everything is fine...fine and coming up roses. Love to you and all you're going through with that beautiful family of yours. xoxoxo just a long road to a great ending .....the path was difficult but well worth the journey.

He sure likes his Mama's kisses! So sweet.

Wonderful post Danny and Charlie looks absolutely adorable! What a treat to finally get a full view of his face.

I love you Danny for all of your honesty, self-knowledge, and eyes-wide-open approach. Be well.


Your writing is lyrical, powerful and oh, so moving. Glad to know that Charlie is showing some positive progress. Thanks for sharing your observations, insights and innermost thoughts on such a difficult, yet life-affirming experience. Charlie is so fortunate to have a dad as aware, introspective and thoughtful as you. All the best to you, Kendall and Leah.

Wonderful post Danny, yet again! You are so right when you say, "...that feelings are not always 'either/or' but more often 'and'." How true.

I'm so thrilled for you guys that Charlie is progressing nicely (what a cutie!), and my wish for you is that the journey continues to get smoother, bringing more joy and less fear every day!

I had not had time to come and read your blog in a while, Danny, and I was so happy to read about Charlie and how well he's been doing lately. He is also such a cutie! You and your wife have been in my thoughts ever since this ordeal began, and I can't wait until Charlie can finally come home.

Danny, I'm've brought me so close to you and your family through these episodes of emotion, experiences and photos. I was moved to tears in a good way today. Charlie is so beautiful. Everyone else has said what I'm feeling. I think and pray for you and Kendall often. I know Judy (mom)is at your side helping you through this. Bless your family..I can't wait to buy a present.

Danny, what great news that Charlie is breathing and eating on his own! Another great post and video.


How wonderful that you can smell the roses and translate your feelings to Charlie (along with Patti LuPone belting it out) .... I want to kiss that "punim" .... he is so adorable. Keep smelling the roses (but no thorns please),


Way to beat that Evil eye down. In the end, all it does is sabotage us.

yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ox,m

I saw the smile! I also saw how hard he was trying to keep his eyes open. It's an overused word, but Charlie's just amazing to me.

And much love and thanks to you and Kendall for sharing the story of Oliver & Charlie with the rest of us. My faith in the goodness of people and, well, the world, has been greatly tested in the last few years. There are days it would be easy to convince myself that there are few genuine experiences left...then I come here. And I see you and Kendall and Charlie & I think...

Love. Painful, soul-shredding, spirit lifting, and above-all, real.

A rose is a rose is a rose.

--Gertrude Stein

(Hey, it's the one rose metaphor that was left unplucked. Wonderful post)

Those little folds on the back of his neck, the smile on his face when his mom kisses him, sucking on his thumb - Charlie is so precious! Glad to hear he is breathing and eating on his own - major milestones in your journey. Thank you so much for sharing all of it with us - the ups and the downs - I hope it helps you to know we are all here for you and rooting for your happy ending.

Bravo! When Kendall lowered her head to kiss Charlie, I leaned towards the computer screen. He's precious.

It sounds like you have a very good therapist. Your honesty is humbling and inspiring.

You could not have chosen a more perfect song! Today, for the first time, I think he looks like Kendall!

Breathing and eating - he is embracing life.

I have such an urge to kiss that kid...

Every couple of days I pop in to see how all of you are holding up. I'm so glad to see this -- I really mean it -- and I am completely DELIGHTED by your good news. Still thinking about all of you...

Some people grab a Bible when confronted with the ups and downs of life. Others go to... Broadway.

I just have to keep coming back here and looking at him! What a triumph just to have gotten this far!

I commented to someone that he looks so much older, wiser and more alert than the newborn baby he would be just about now. Like you, he's been shocked and stressed and loved into a higher level of awareness. Whatever injury happened to his brain, it's also received an enormous amount of stimulation. Talk about Head Start! And you know how plastic and how packed with reserve power brains are.

I wish I had adequate words to tell you how blessed I feel to get the know sweet baby Charlie and you so intimately. Your written voice lets me experience a full range of emotions which lets me grow in knowledge and compassion. Thank you.

I need to tell you that I love your little fellow and I love you and Kendall for the depth of your love.

Love to you and yours, Debbie

I'm ready for the feature length version when you have a chance--never ready for it to end these days. He is a fascinating baby already as I'd expect from you two.

He looks AMAZING!!! I've been following your blog without commenting, but tonight deserves a comment!!! A WHOLE bottle on his own?!!!

My own daughter was born just 5 weeks premature last year and was in respiratory distress. We spent 3 weeks in the NICU (I know that must seem like pocket change to you after 80+ days, but they were still agonizing), and I can totally relate to all of your feelings . . . the constant euphoria mixed with intense fear (I still have that non-stop over various things with my daughter); the twinge of envy watching the happy-go-lucky parents-to-be go into the hospital . . . I have a friend that just had her baby two weeks late, and each time she complained, I felt so angry with her and thought "what I wouldn't give to have gone PAST my due date."

Anyway, your sweet Charlie is in my thoughts (as is Oliver). When I saw that he had his first feeding completely by mouth, my heart felt so full and I thought, "he's going to get out of there soon!!"

I think he looks a bit like Peter.

Wonderful to read of the progress dear little Charlie is making....ALL these wonderful little victory's...and actually, they are not so little...thry are BIG.

For Beauty and inspiration, without thorns...go and be cheered by the second post of "ROSES", my dear Danny....I couldn't help but think of telling you when you wrote about the Hope that Roses bring. And the Love, too....
Sending you and Kendall, huge amounts of both!

The coolest thing about practicing present moment mindfulness, is that we get to start over again with each moment! Boy, can I relate to the simultaneous flooding of dual emotional states. I am thrilled to see the little darling boy continuing to grow, and make those small significant steps toward release from NICU! xoxo Susie

What s/he said re: all your kindly commenting crew!

And where should I send the check for the money you just saved me in therapy bills of my own with:

One of my biggest life lessons is understanding that feelings are not always “either/or” but more often “and.” My goal is not to force myself to be positive all the time, but rather to stop being so surprised when the fear stuff creeps back in. And I want to develop coping mechanisms that do NOT involve tormenting my loved ones or myself with my sudden bouts of terror.

I'm speechless and Charlie is chubby and free of tubes, who would thunk?

Congratulations and continued progress to each and every one of you, Danny.


Gorgeous post, Danny!!!

I love those rosebud lips of his! And, the sideways glances. I'm plotzing! Poo poo poo!

Hope Charlie is okay and will be home soon.
I like all you musings except Stamp Out Santa. In total disagreement over the fat
man in the Red Suit.

Just a note to say I was thinking of all of you on this fine Sunday evening.


i'd like to thank you for your honesty and willingness to expose the terror as well as the hope. life is full of incredible pain and surprise and addition to the lighter sides of life. your blog helps me to not feel so weird/damaged/alone. So many of those I know are protected or privileged or "make the best of it" by not talking about the darker stuff. It embarrasses me to speak my own slices of darkness into so much light. It's embarrassing to be open and vulnerable and I'm very grateful for your willingness to speak all your truths.

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