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« Charlie & The Chairman of the Board | Main | The New Normal »

July 06, 2009


Don't think I didn't have her back as well as yours. No one knows one's sorrow as another that has lost a child. And even then, it's your personal journey in which no one can ever begin to understand.

Dear Danny,

I can appreciate your deep desire to relive, calmly, something that you were forced to endure on adrenaline.

You and your family have my own profound condolences in the loss of Oliver. I agree that it is a private journey that you are on as an individual and as the member of a loving family. I'll be out here, along with all your other friends, family, and well wishers, keeping up with you as a witness while you stand your vigil and make your way forward.


What a wonderful tribute from Leah to her brother Oliver. I hope Charlie has a good week.
You are all in my thoughts as usual.

A beautiful and haunting melody. Similar to your feelings of Oliver's passing.
Simcha and sorrow -- unfortunately often in the same breath.
Stay strong...and the same goes for Charlie!

Lovely Leah..

Prayers of remembrance to Oliver.

Prayers for recovery and health for Charlie.

Love to all...

Fake Grandma

I'm always so overwhelmed reading you.. it brings me back so abruptly I can hear the beeps. And my mind's a jumble and my heart's all squishy and I can't find words other than to tell you I'm still here, and Charlie is beautiful, and I hope he makes you yeowl like every good boy should when he gets a good fistful of you.

And I'm thinking of Oliver and all the unanswerable questions... and saying bah humbug to happy posts. All you need to be here is exactly where you are.

This is really strange: I've suffered PTSD since Jordan's injury on a regular, without fail schedule for 14 years. Reading your posts about Charlie and Oliver take me tearfully back to my own PICU memories, but your beautiful words and all your hope and mourning are washing away my negative memories more and more. I wish your family more blessings than you ever thought possible, and I thank you for the tremendous blessings you give me with every visit to your blog.

With every post you remind me what an amazing dad, husband, person, friend, and writer you are. That video--wow. Thank you for a peek into your world.

Thinking of you, Kendall, Charlie, Leah, and Oliver with love,

I'm sorry this has been such a painful process for you and your family. I'm sending as much love and hope through the internets as I can. Please write what you need to write and don't worry if it's not a "happy" post. Use your blog however you need it.

What a lovely song and tribute to Oliver - Leah has a beautiful singing voice. I love Charlie's hat - he looks beyond adorable in it! So glad to hear he has broken the 4 lb barrier, you can see it in those delicious chubby cheeks. I will be thinking of you, Kendall, Charlie and Leah and hoping this week is a better one for all of you.

I know how horrible those kinds of flashbacks are. I hope you are squeezing in even some teeny tiny time for yourself in all of this, so when Charlie does come home, his Dad will be healthy too. I find that for panic/anxiety/constant stress, there is nothing like exercise and yoga. It settles the body. I am keeping Charlie in my heart.

Dear Danny,

Wow ! That girl can sing !
I'm sending a spell for our Charlie's continued progress toward perfect health.
Don't forget to take care of Danny.
Don't forget to take care of Kendall.
Don't forget to take care of Leah.

Keep your sunny side up.


You are a mensch beyond compare. Your love and kindness just oozes out to your beautiful family. I am lucky to know you and call you "my friend".

Love always,

You, Kendall, Leah, Charlie and Oliver are in my prayers every night. The loss of a child is a wound that never heals. When Charlie is old enough to understand you can tell him of his own special angel, Oliver who will be with him every day.
I pray for G-d to bring you & yours comfort during this stressful time.

Amazing - Leah's voice, the whole video. So glad to see Charlie looking well.

How can they predict what will or won't happen in 6 weeks? That seems like such a long time away...but maybe they are just wanting Charlie to be as big and strong as possible before doing surgery and being ready to go out into the world.

Much love to all of you.

I came into this in the middle, but went back and read all the posts. You're there every day and see each change as incremental, which can seem very slow. When I look at the photos of Charlie, I don't see anything but a normal, thriving baby. He looks good, Danny, he looks really good.

I want you to know I think about you, Oliver, Kendall, Charlie and Leah every day. No post is too hard, no thought too dark. Honor each moment, each breath, each thought and feeling. All of them.

Charlie looks great to me, too, but I can't imagine what it must be like on the scary days. Hang in there and take care of yourselves. I hope there is a turn and your son comes home sooner than you think.

I wish I could lift all this sorrow from your heart. Charlie looks great and I know he is a source of great joy. May you shepe naches from both your beautiful children.

What a lovely gift from Leah.

What can be said? There is probably nothing more heart-breaking than being introduced to your child, then immediately being parted forever.

There's a story in the Tribune this morning about a 6-year-old boy who was the darling of his neighborhood, who died of a brain stem tumor. His older sister was sad that he wasn't going to make it to Christmas. So on July 2, the neighbors came to the house in the middle of the night and festooned the front yard with white lights. When the kid woke up that morning -- one of his last -- the family celebrated its last Christmas together. He died July 4.

The family's neighbors brought much love into the house of the grieving family. Nothing can ever make up for such a loss -- not even all the love that blossoms as a result. But that love is still a small miracle of its own. You see in the photo that the family is smiling, and that their eyes are still swollen from the crying.,0,1709913.story

The video is so touching and Leah's singing is so beautiful it makes me cry.

Charlie is amazing.

Praying for Charlie, for Oliver, for you all. Thank you for continuing to share this experience, it leaves me speechless.
With love,

Crying for the boy you lost and the one you long to bring home and the lovely daughter at home.

My heart breaks with you. I understand your desire to relive your last moments with Oliver. It is not morbid. I relive the last moments I spent holding my little brother in the hospital over and over again in my mind and I wish I could go back to that night and really feel it and take it all in: the smell of him, the feel of his hand, everything. I was too numb at the time to be able to take it all in. I wish you and your family all the best. Charlie is beautiful and a fighter. I hope he recovers from his surgeries quickly and will make it home by September.

Your writing is beautiful as are your sentiments within.

Leah is beautiful and she did a wonderful job singing. I'm sorry she wasn't able to spend time with Oliver and I'm sorry for the continued grief you all are experiencing. It moved me to read that you talk to Charlie about his brother.

I have three sons [11, 9, and 3]. We say prayers every evening as a family before bed. My son Duke [9] never forgets Charlie. Not written pridefully, just wanted you to know a little boy in Utah is particularly touched by you and your family.

Blessings, Chris

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