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« Charlie is 50! | Main | Torture/Surrender/Acceptance »

June 16, 2009


I too lost my twin son when my boys were born at 24 weeks 0 days. Brady lived for 1 1/2 days before leaving. My son Liam stayed 105 days in the NICU before coming home. He had to have the PDA surgery and ROP surgery. We are now a little over a year out from his stay and although Liam faces lifelong issues from his premature arrival, I am so grateful that God allowed him to be here with us. My initial days in the NICU mirror yours...I will be praying for your precious little boy.

Oh- And I wanted to add that the twin thing will never go away. I can't watch tv shows with twins, see twins or hear about twins without feeling that twinge of sadness in my heart. And unfortunately, I get very jealous when I hear about successful twin pregnancies. I just can't erase those emotions from my soul.

i turn my head with the sight of every baby now, not just little boys. i can't stand to see the happiness in other people's faces. i know it's not right but i don't care about right at this moment. nothing is right in our situations.

as for late charges, let me tell you, i've gotten ourselves out of a lot of hot water lately due to the death of our son. it seems i can't remember to do anything that i'm supposed to do much less pay bills these days. don't even ask me about the conversations i've had with people that i have been totally clueless about these past 9 1/2 weeks. someone told me that i probably won't remember anything i've said or done (albeit if it has been written on my blog) this first year. jeez, how scary and thankful am i.

i'd like to say my new drugs are working but instead, they've made me more insane.

think about you guys every day.

Hi Danny, I stumbled across your blog from goodness knows where ... it may seem strange that a woman from the other side of the world tunes in daily to see how your son's progress is going, but there it is, the genius of the internet. All I can say is Go Charlie! Go you good thing! Get strong! Get big! I hope to be reading this blog in years to come and see you running around, playing on stuff, riding a bike, enjoying the sunshine.
All the best to you and your family, Kimberley

Glad to hear that despite some scary moments, Charlie is still for the most part doing well. I just wanted to repeat what the docs said and urge you not to watch the eye test. My son had a similar test when he was 5 months old, and I was there for it- the memory still haunts me to this day (13 years later). Please spare yourself that.

I've started and deleted a few comments, unsure of how to respond to this powerful post. Your Larchmont fantasy, your description of Oliver, Charlie's recent setbacks, your encounter with the library supervisor--all are heartbreakingly stunning. I so badly want to be there with you and Kendall.

Love and hugs,

How about in your parallel universe (that I have to tell you, you made very real to me), if the forgiveness you describe in the library story is to be expected.

Dear Danny,
Thanks for keeping us posted on Charlie's progress.
I send your way, a spell of only good news.
Hugs for you all.

Thanks for another update. I hope Charlie's setbacks are fewer in the days to come. May you meet more kindly people like the library supervisor. They are out there.

You will meet the most amazing, courageous people because of this chapter in your life.

I hope Charlie's setbacks become fewer and fewer in the months ahead.

Wow, that last comment sounds like a psychic prediction. I pray for Chaim Charlie every morning during my subway ride to work, sending that white light across the country. The only other Larchmont I knew was Queens, NY. Thanks for another great blog.

I just found your blog from Gorillabuns. All of my prayers are with you and your family. are an excellent writer/blogger.

thinking of you. stay strong.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Joan Rivers is from Larchmont, NY. I wonder if she ever hung out in your Larchmont...

The librarian is no doubt just one of many, many people whom you'll meet who will have much compassion for you and your family. Human kindness is a bond.

Although I'm relatively new to you blog, I find it compulsory reading now to get regular updates about Charlie. I was on holidays last week with no net access on a tropical island, yet he was still in my thoughts at random moments. Can't imagine what its like to go through. When your on a down moment on the rollercoaster have a look back at the photos of him when he was just born to help you realise how far he's come. He knows he's loved, which isn't eveything, but its a hell of a lot.

Dear Danny and Kendall,

I had sent Sue a note wondering how you were all doing and she reminded me of your blog. I had forgotten what a amazing writer you are. After reading your blog from the past few months, it is clear that what ever challenges Charlie is to encounter in his beautiful life, I don't think he could have asked for more perfect parents then the two of you. Please know that each day we are sending prayers of hope and love your way. May the challenges become blessings in disguise.

Take care and be well,

Liz & Aram

I hadn't read your blog in a while (nothing personal; just super busy with work)so I was quite surprised and saddened upon my return to hear about Charlie and Oliver. I'm so sorry about the loss of your son. Now I find myself checking practically every day to see how Charlie is doing. I am thinking good thoughts for him.

I don't usual comment, but I am compelled to tell you what a poignantly beautiful entry this was. You capture your sense of loss exquisitely (actually made my heart ache) and the roller coaster ride of emotions that every parent with a sick child must feel. Best wishes to your family and especially to little Charlie.

There is no right way to grieve or deal with so much loss and pain. I'm glad there are many reaching out to you with kindness.


For some reason, the library story made me cry more than anything. Probably just built up emotion from reading 3 posts at one time. But, also, human kindness and compassion get me every time.
My Dad reminded me to tell you that he prays for Charlie in shul every Saturday morning.

I have been reading your blog.Larchmont Blvd was the only place in Los Angeles I could relate to.I worked in a ladies dress shop for a couple of years.I returned to Chicago,I missed the Midwest. Larchmont was a good substitute for a short time.

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