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« Charlie Rules | Main | Chaim and Yitzchak »

May 16, 2009


Danny, glad to know that things are going good and you and Kendall are both hanging in there. I will continue to send good healthy thoughts your way! Please take care of yourself.


Danny, The strength and bravery shown by your family is an inspiration.

I don't think a day passes that I don't think of you and the stress on you and your wife. Someone very wise once told me that the first step in returning to normalcy after a trauma is to pretend things are normal. I don't know if that's even possible for you, but going through the motions -- even if your heart and head are elsewhere -- seems to be a key.
Stay strong and allow others in.
Your friend,
Ann Brenoff

Danny, what a wonderful and honest post. I'm glad you and Kendall are getting the help you need. (By the way, Ativan is a miracle drug.) I'm so happy to know the doctor gave you some good news.


Our love to all of you.

Frank, Laurent & Oliver

I had a "normal" labor and delivery - and the crazy amount of hormones blasting through my body made me crazy. What I did that was stupid on my part was ignore it for nine months. NINE.

So bless you BOTH for getting needed help. Xanax and Zoloft are gifts from God as far as I'm concerned.

(friend of Heather's)

Good for you and Kendall -- there is no shame in getting help when you need it, and the trauma you've both been through is something ANYONE would need help to deal with.

Glad Charlie is doing so well, and he's lucky to have you and Kendall as his daddy and mommy.

Live long and prosper, kid -- INDEED!

Thanks for your honesty about this terribly difficult, traumatic and painful time in the lives of your family. It is often difficult enough to be honest with oneself and what one needs, but to be able to share those truths with strangers is simply...admirable and inspiring.

Stay well.

Wow, your honesty, courage, strength and absolute love for your family really is inspiring. You all will be fine :)

Danny, Kendall, my heart goes out to you both. I so respect you for doing whatever it takes to take care of yourselves, for you and your son. Your story of what Kendall has been going through brought me to tears. You two need a break, I am looking forward to the post when Charlie comes home... thinking of you all. I will have my family include you in their prayers... hugs, Elaine

Sending you all a lot of love from new york...

I am amazed that in the midst of her own pain, Kendall thought about how her experience might help others. She's going to be an amazing mother to Charlie.

And you...I don't know you in-person Danny, but I have so much admiration and respect for you as a person and as a writer. I think as hard as it is for you to write about this, it is a blessing to others. Not just to those who may face the same, but all of us. What your family is going through is a stark, sad, and beautiful reminder of what is really important.

Thank you and Kendall for reaching through your pain and sharing these intimate stories with us.

Dear Danny,
How courageous you and Kendall are! I am terribly grateful that you are sharing your story with us.

By the way - Star Trek is fabulous in my opinion!!! Am looking forward to the days ahead, when you are able to see the movie and write one of your amazing posts about it!

May you all live long and prosper - indeed!

There's no such thing as 'normal'. Especially now. You just reach out to grasp whatever tools are offered to you. Medication is just one of those tools. The trained and objective listening of a good therapist is another. As is music, and solitude, and bloody voodoo - doesn't matter. There is no 'best' or 'better' way to become 'more normal' in this. All that matters is that you reach out to grasp what's in front of you.

I don't know you, nor Kendall, and had only heard of you when the twins were born. And so when I sign off saying that I'm sending you love, that feels, a bit strange. But there's no other word for how this feels, to read your writing having gone through such a similar event. For you I wish I were a witch, so I could scoop up the molecules in the air that draw positivity, and then make them into some concentrated sort of fireball of light and strength and shoot it your way.

But it makes me sound less weird to just say 'thinking of you, sending love'. And so there you have it.
(waves arms, utters incantation)

Danny, the 'Live long and prosper' sign that little Charlie was making is also the sign the Cohanim make when making the three fold blessing: May G-d bless you and keep you; May G-d shine His countenance upon you and be gracious unto you; May G-d lift His countenance to you and grant you peace. It's also the blessing parents give their children Friday night before Kiddush. I had you, Kendall and Charlie in my heart Friday evening when I blessed my children.

On a lighter note, my youngest son speaks Klingon. When Nachman was about 9 mos. or so I was changing his diaper and as I closed up his pants he smiled and said: Kuplah! For the uninitiated, that means thank you.

Yakira (Larry's gal)

I'm so glad that you and Kendall are seeking help now. With Charlie still in the hospital, it's the perfect time to get all of these emotions sorted out so you'll both be fully present when he comes home. And anti-anxiety/anti-depressant meds are your friends. :) They won't magically make everything ok but they will put a much-needed ceiling and floor to your feelings.

Go see Star Trek-- it'll be a fantastic, Vulvan distraction for a few hours.


Ooops... I meant VULCAN, not vulvan... all this baby talk... oy. * blushes *

Danny, I have just caught up with your news through the Facebook link. I am overwhelmed, at a loss for words except to say please know that you are all now, and will continue to be, in our thoughts, our prayers, our hearts every day.

i had no idea, and i'm so sorry to hear about oliver.
all my love, and we'll be thinking about you a ton. xo

Danny, your writing amazes, inspires and gratifies all of us who are connected to you. I agree that asking for help is a strength. Hey, if it makes ya feel any better, Noah is on three daily meds and I often wonder how we could do this life w/ him if it were not for the miracle of modern pharmacology! One breath in the the next breath out, that's how you do it, one moment at a time. Love, peace and Healing to you all! Susie

You all remain in my thoughts each and every day. Human strength and resilience is a great miracle to witness.


Thank you for your very moving writing about everything Kendall and you and Oliver and Charlie are going through.

We will continue to have you all in our thoughts and prayers every day.

Andrew, Rosalinda, Elisa, Sophia, Joseph and Gina

Dear Danny and Kendall,

You are both amazing people letting it "all hang out" for all to share! May you continue to have the strength (along with miracle meds like Paxil, etc.) and "stay the course" until your Charlie is well enough to come home to his two loving parents.

Love always,

Dear Danny:

I admire both the courage and strength that you and Kendall are willing to share with all of us.

Even when you deliver a child under "normal" circumstances its overwhelming, so given what you 2 have gone through, I think it is quite understandable that you need some extra help to get through all that has gone on.

You 2 together with Charlie and Leah are an amazing family and when he becomes a Bar Mitzvah, you will just look back at this time and say, we got through that, we can make it through your adolesence no problem.

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Be well always.


Dear Danny,
It's great to read a post that sounds more like your old self. I suppose you've been wandering in a fog for the past 3 weeks. But, I see that it's starting to clear. You're stronger than you think. All the best to you and Kendall, and Leah, and Charlie.

Once again, a brave and beautiful post. Kendall is such an amazing woman to deal with all of this and know when to get help for herself. I think of your family often and wish you all the best. It's so wonderful to see how supportive you are all of each other.

Danny, I was so thrilled to read that Charlie's chances at life are excellent, and then when you got to "Live Long and Prosper" I burst into tears. Yes! Yes! Of course! Of course Leonard Nimoy stole or borrowed that gesture from the rabbis, and yes, that's what Charlie is signing in the picture! Our rabbi used to raise both hands and say the blessing with such warmth . . . you would have loved him, warm hearted, open minded, marched with Dr. King AND made friends with the old Georgia cattleman who lived next door to us in Florida who probably had a Confederate flag tattooed on his soul. There's a lot in this about hands and how much power they can beam. Go, Charlie . . . he seems visibly bigger and stronger even in the pictures.

I'm thrilled to hear Charlie is doing well and has a good prognosis. I'm equally happy you and Kendall are getting through this. There's no shame in seeking help when you need it. And I doubt anyone could think of a more appropriate time to reach out.

Take care of yourself--both of you. My thoughts and best wishes remain yours.

Danny: Sending your family positive thoughts every single day.

Continuous thoughts and prayers. Strength for Charlie, you, Kendall, and Leah. Humbled by your challenges. Awed by your courage. And your honesty.


Dear Danny,
I check your blog the first thing in the a.m. and the last thing at night. Thanks for keeping us up to date. I'm thrilled by Charlie's latest prognosis, and I'm glad that Kendall is now doing well. I can hardly wait to see all of you!


I just stumbled on your blog this evening, and I wish there was something I could do to help. I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie (email me if you're interested). Other than that, though, please know that I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

Danny, it's great that you and Kendall know how to get help when you need it -- and with what you've gone through, the only abnormal response would be not to need it. Many thanks to you and Kendall for your courage, and your kindness in thinking of others while going through your own crucible.

Danny, there is little I can say that other people haven't said already. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Charlie and how he is doing. Having done the NICU myself, I can only tell you that my blessings are with your family and I am trying with all my heart to send the best vibes I can.

One thing that "might" make you feel better is that my daughter had brain bleeds as well, and we were told all sorts of horrible things that might happen to her. Some did, and with early intervention are long gone. Other things remain, but she's beautiful, she can do anything any other child can do, and the only long term issue is a learning disability. Not a great one, but in the grand schema of things she's PERFECT just as she is.

GIve Kendall a huge hug from me. As the mom of a bipolar kid, I know that the mania can be really frightening, but she did absolutely the right thing by seeking immediate help, as are you. This much stress can have long lasting health affects on you all, so even though Charlie is your top priority, don't forget to be good to yourselves, too.

Danny, I've been on antidepressants & antianxiety meds for a couple of years now. Coupled with therapy, it's been a huge help. I was always afraid of it. I can't imagine my life without it now.

When my mother was sick, I also sought counseling. She was sick for 13 months before we lost her. Too many people see therapy and meds as a cop out or a sign of weakness. For me, it's been a lifesaver.

If not for an objective outsider to see me through some very rough spots in my life, I don't know where I would've ended up.

You're in my thoughts through these trying times, Danny. Email me or call me (you've got my number) if you want to talk about this further.

G-d Bless, Danny.

Just good ol' fashioned love, hugs and kisses are being sent your way, mixed with some prayer.....hope to hear soon the progress you are all making!!! We love you guys!!!

My love my love to you all.
Every minute. Every day.

Sending love and light.


Dear Danny and Kendall,
I hope you both are feeling stronger, and Im glad to see Charlie is able to tolerate food and is stable. I give you credit for getting help and being so honest about it. I dont know anyone who would not need something after all you two are going through. Stay well, Caren

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