This is me touching Charlie the other day. You have to do this thing called a “comfort hold” where you lightly place one hand on his head and the other on his feet. You don’t stroke the skin at all and have to be careful to stay away from all tubes and where he had his surgery. He’s at a point right now where he really can’t have too much stimulation but he definitely responds to touch. Kendall and I can both feel him “hugging” us with his little foot. The reason his head and eyes are covered is because he was getting light treatment for jaundice but yesterday his head was completely exposed and so cute. There was a problem yesterday with his breathing tube which was scary but they managed to resolve it. We have a big meeting this morning with the doctors including the neurologist.
Look at how Charlie reached out and grabbed my finger in the photo below. Don’t worry, he’s not amphibious, he really has five perfect fingers, not three!
Still working on living in the moment, always a challenge for me and one I MUST finally master. I’m doing my best to stay above water and will be getting some help. I’m not great yet and I feel the bodily effects of two weeks of pretty major trauma. Still looking for that new normal and trust we will find it. Still trying to comprehend what has happened and to grieve our other son. Still filled with gratitude at all the good thoughts, prayers, and love coming our way.
I've been enjoying your blog for years - have never commented before, but your pictures of your precious little boy have moved me to do so. I'm so very sorry about Oliver, and I hope and pray that Charlie will be just fine and turn into an active little boy that you'll enjoy chasing around the house someday. He's just the sweetest-looking little guy, and I'm sending out some good thoughts and prayers for him.
Posted by: Lori | May 14, 2009 at 08:19 AM
How much I wish I could put a comfort hold around you and Kendall. It's so tough.
Day by day, closer to light and fresh air, for all of you.
Posted by: sweetsalty kate | May 14, 2009 at 08:58 AM
I'm still amazed at your strength through all of this and how great you and Kendall are to each other. As always, I'm sending out as many positive thoughts and prayers to you guys as I can.
Posted by: churlita | May 14, 2009 at 09:08 AM
He's precious! I'm still sending good, strong, positive thoughts to Charlie, Kendall and yourself.
Posted by: Jeff | May 14, 2009 at 09:50 AM
Rock on Charlie!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Ana | May 14, 2009 at 10:26 AM
Dear Danny, Kendall, Leah and Charlie: Thoughts for healing, good health and peace sent to you from us. Think of all the complexities that dwell within that tiny human being, already a universe in itself.
Love, Marc and Judy.
Posted by: Marc and Judy Davis | May 14, 2009 at 10:42 AM
Came across your blog via Wilco web surfing , but turned into a regular reader because it's a great read! My sincerest condolences on the loss of your son Oliver and my hope for a strong and healthy growth and recovery for your son Charlie. Take care of yourself and hang in there. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family from around the world.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 14, 2009 at 11:05 AM
The desire to be a parent is unlike any other. For those of us who did not just decide one day to get pregnant and 9 months later deliver a healthy baby, it is even more overwhelming.
With all that you and Kendall have been through, I pray that Ha'Shem blesses Charlie with a long and healthy life. May his only battles be these early ones and may you be able to celebrate years of good health and happiness going forward.
I continue to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Katmama | May 14, 2009 at 11:55 AM
Hugs and comfort holds to all.
Love,
Julie
Posted by: Julie R. | May 14, 2009 at 01:13 PM
I want to send the best wishes and thoughts I can to you and your family, Mr. Miller. May everything turn out well for Charlie.
Posted by: Brett Hickman | May 14, 2009 at 01:46 PM
Danny,
I am still praying for you and your family. Little Charlie looks like he is a fighter!
Tricia Hicks
Posted by: Tricia Hicks | May 14, 2009 at 01:56 PM
Did you see the story in the 5/18/09 People about the 'micro preemies'? Many are now in college, and some weighed less than 1 lb 10 oz. I hope that helps you see a future.
Cleo Gascoyne
Posted by: Cleo Gascoyne | May 14, 2009 at 03:08 PM
Keep up the good work.
Posted by: david | May 14, 2009 at 06:44 PM
just. absolutely. beautiful. wonderful.
health!
Posted by: suzanne | May 14, 2009 at 08:35 PM
Sending out positive vibes to the family, and especially to Charlie.
I hope and pray that this difficult episode in your lives will have a "And they all lived happily after..." ending, Danny!
Posted by: Pearl | May 14, 2009 at 08:36 PM
Been thinking about you guys today and even talking about you to a friend, who also wishes you well. Charlie is amazing and is really hanging in there! Still sending white light and looking forward to seeing future pictures of Charlie at one, two, three, four, twenty...
Posted by: Kitty | May 14, 2009 at 09:19 PM
Hi Danny, Kendall, Leah and Baby Charlie, Just wanted to send some love and good vibes your way. I have been thinking about you and wishing for all good things for the baby. Hope you are taking good care of each other. All our love is sent your way...Julie, Michael and kiddos
Posted by: Julie Schreiber | May 14, 2009 at 11:25 PM
Thanks for the further update and precious photos. You all remain in my thoughts.
Posted by: Pam G | May 15, 2009 at 04:06 AM
Danny -- God bless you, Kendall, Leah, Charlie, and Oliver. You are all so strong, each in a different way. All a family, whether present or not. Every person, as Marc and Judy said, a universe. One more amazing universe has joined our dream-life.
Posted by: Richard Lawrence Cohen | May 15, 2009 at 07:57 AM
Danny,
Thank you for the frequent updates. We are thinking about you and Kendall and Leah and beautiful little Charlie all the time - you are never far from our thoughts. We hope you can feel all the support and good thoughts we continue to send your way. We are pulling for all of you. Stay strong.
Posted by: Sally Northrop | May 15, 2009 at 10:34 AM
I wish you and your family the best; you deserve it.
Posted by: Lisa | May 15, 2009 at 05:52 PM
Awww Danny, I want to reach through my computer screen and give you a great big hug. Poor little Charlie, everyone's messing with him. I'm praying for him everyday.
Posted by: Maria Sosa | May 15, 2009 at 08:22 PM
I can feel him fighting from here, and I know that you and Kendall wish you could fight this battle for him. I am praying every day for his health, Danny.
Posted by: Jane | May 15, 2009 at 09:06 PM
I know a picture paints a thousand words but even so, I'm finding it hard to comprehend just how teeny tiny he is! So precious. That's some pretty awesome people who are looking after your gorgeous baby. What a fighter he is! I think you should keep that hat to show him when he is all grown up!
Posted by: Sarah | May 15, 2009 at 10:27 PM
Danny, I'm so sorry and so glad at the same time. God bless and take care of tiny Charlie and his parents. Lots of love to you all.
Posted by: Natalie | May 16, 2009 at 02:48 AM
Found your Blog through Spencer's Blog (which I found as a Wilco fan) and have enjoyed reading it. I have been thinking of you and little Charlie a lot. He's been blessed with a wonderful family - I'm not exactly the praying type but I have been thinking of him daily. Hang in there, all of you!
Posted by: K Wild | May 16, 2009 at 08:54 AM
I hope and pray Charlie gets stronger everyday. My heart goes out to you and your family on your loss.
Posted by: Caren | May 16, 2009 at 08:00 PM