Jew Decorate Yet?

I have a long history of trashing Christmas on this blog. My second, third, and fourth posts way back in December 2004 when I started this thing were all anti-holiday diatribes. The following year, I tried to limit my Scrooge-like rants but still got in trouble for a post I wrote that all but accused Santa Claus of being a pedophile. In 2006, I restrained myself even further, and then worried about my lack of Christmas kvetching. Last year, I ignored Christmas completely but found time to bemoan some of the agonies of Hanukkah and the misguided connections of that holiday to the yuletide orgy of consumption.

My nephew Spencer is turning 13 next Tuesday and is gearing up for his Bar Mitzvah that will take place in May 2009. Spencer is a genius on the computer and a damn good writer, too. As part of his Bar Mitzvah preparation, he recently started his THIRD concurrent blog called “All About Mitzvah.” In his latest post, “December Crisis: Surviving the Holidays,” Spencer contemplates the problem his Jewish family faces every year: whether to celebrate Christmas. Spencer’s dad is not Jewish so that, in my opinion, gives them license to trot out any red and green decorations they like without the ghosts of our Chasidic great-grandparents rattling chains in protest like Jacob Marley in “A Christmas Carol.” But come to think of it, I don’t remember ever seeing a Christmas tree or any other signs of the holiday in my sister’s house when I was fool enough to visit Chicago during the winter. I guess the kids got their fill of stockings and candy canes when they’d visit their Christmas-lovin' relatives in Belleville, Illinois, my brother-in-law’s home town. But what about Spencer's query? Has Christmas become so secularized that it’s now “okay” for Jews to celebrate?

Not really. No matter how you slice it, it’s still about the birth of Baby Jesus, and while I do enjoy the festivities at my in-laws’ house, I would fear the hauntings I mentioned earlier if I dared to slaughter a pine tree and drag it into our living room. We never had any decorations in our house as kids, although I’m remembering one year when we were teenagers when my sister put blue and white ornaments a tiny tree and called it a Hanukkah Bush. Eww. As I’ve already stated, I have little tolerance for attempts to turn Hanukkah into “Jewish Christmas”—the two holidays have nothing to do with each other except an accidental proximity. And even that is in question after yesterday’s announcement by a group of international astronomers. Based on celestial clues from the story of Christ’s birth, they now believe that Mary's child was actually born on June 17th! Relax, kids, you’ve got six more shopping months until the real Christmas!

Comments

[Arlene]

Hi Danny,

I also remember growing up and putting a "Happy Hanukkah" sign in the window, and on Christmas morning there were always presents by the fireplace! My parents loved doing it, even thou the rest of the family thought it was horrible. Do you remember ever going to Hanukkahh parties?!

My husband is not Jewish, so we celebrate both holidays and our house is decorated inside and out for the hoidays.

Your nephew is adorable...congrats on his Bar Mitzvah. I want to see a picture of him surrounded by girls just like the one you had!

[Melinda]

Your nephew has the same situation that I had growing up--mother Jewish, father not. When I did stand-up, I used to say "We had a Christmas tree, but we hung Barry Manilow from it."

When my husband and I were first living together, we had some red and green decorations and a menorah. Then after we were married, all of a sudden he was Tevye. I wanted to put silver foil on the door.

"That's goyish!"

"No it's not, it's festive!"

Actually, what I remember most about the winter holidays when I was a kid wasn't a tree or a menorah. It was the smell of cooking and cleaning! My mother would start cooking and cleaning the day before Thanksgiving and she wouldn't stop until New Year's. We had a procession of friends and relatives in and out the whole time, and there was food and there were gifts. This is the tradition I've tried to continue as an adult.

[judy]

We never had a tree but sometimes we had Santa fill our stockings or socks with oranges and little treats. We had the Menorah.
I can' t believe it but today i got in trouble at work for printing pictures of Santa on my computer at the Security Guard's request.
They needed decorations for their post. I wondered whether I should get paper snowflakes and tried to get free ones which I didn;t have to download. A public high school should have every holiday represented so i must get busy soon.

[Gordon]

Dear Danny,
Years ago, I dated a Jewish guy who had a fit if I even sang a Christmas song. My most recent ex (also Jewish) observed both the Jewish holidays and Christmas. He took me to my first seder dinner. Although I don't subscribe to any religion, I thought it was quite wonderful. I'm wondering why you wouldn't find it acceptable to celebrate the Jewish holidays as well as the commercial side of Christmas. Just a thought.

[Danny]

Oh, I do, Gordon, believe me. But I still prefer to keep them separate and not think of Hanukkah as the Jewish Christmas. (And I'm not ready to bring a Xmas tree into the house.) Yikes, your Jewish ex-boyfriend sounds like a piece of work. There's nothing I enjoy more than singing Christmas carols, even if it would send my ancestors spinning in their graves!

[david]

I knew Jesus and my grandmother had something in common. Now I know: June 17th!

[liza]

I thought it was old news that Jesus wasn't born in December. The winter solstice holidays worldwide were so important that early church fathers decided to splice Jesus onto them as a way to coopt these powerful celebrations and religions.

But I'm pleased that there's astronomical data to prove his summer solstice birth. Hey, we need a summer solstice holiday anyway.

And I hate xmas too. In our house we celebrate Solstice (if I say Christmas my kids scowl at me) but we do it on xmas day because the kids have to have something to do on the day that many of the friends and much of the world is gathering around the pagan tree and unwrapping presents.

I still hate it. But I do love the return of the light.

[Distractions]

I grew up Catholic, my wife Jewish. But if anything, we're Unitarians. We celebrate both Hannukah and Christmas in my house -- very secular, though.

I always wondered why they are compared. They're two totally separate holidays that just happen to sometimes fall around the same time. I think some Christians look at Hannukah as the Jewish Christmas and that bugs me. I hate it when at Christmas, one of my family wishes my wife Happy Hannukah -- and Hannukah was already over weeks before. I don't wish somebody Merry Christmas on January 13.

[Leslie]

There's always Festivus for the rest of us.

[tamarika]

I adore the cartoon, Danny. It fits perfectly into my, "I-don't-belong-anywhere" neurosis. Indeed, I laughed out loud when I saw it. A hearty, straight from the gut, recognizing myself type of laugh!

[Wendi]

I wear a beautiful Star of David every day and you can see it all the time. I hate it when I go into a store and as I'm checking out someone says to me, "Merry Christmas." Do they not see the Star of David resting on my chest?

I always wish them a Happy Hanukkah in return, just to remind them that not everyone is a Christian celebrating Christmas. I think that a lot of people don't get the point, but at least I know that I'm getting my dig in.