It’s hard for me to write about Proposition 8 without going into lengthy diatribes. I have friends who are voting for McCain next Tuesday and while I feel strongly that McCain/Palin is a terrible choice for this country, I’m able to disagree with these people without it affecting our friendship. Okay, to be honest, my Republican friends are few and far between, but they do exist. We sometimes get into heated exchanges about our differing views—I may think they’re wrong, they may think I’m wrong, but it’s refreshing to have dialogues with these folks and break out of the liberal ghetto I live in most of the time.
Still, I’m having a much harder time agreeing to disagree with people who are supporting Proposition 8, the initiative on the California ballot that, if passed, will rescind the California Supreme Court’s recent decision that same-sex couples have a right to marry. The goal of the proposition is to change the wording of the California Constitution so that only marriages between a man and a woman are recognized. Yes, they want to change the Constitution, not an everyday occurrence or one to be taken lightly, in order to openly and blatantly discriminate against a specific group of people. Same-sex marriages have been taking place at a brisk clip in this state since they became legal on June 17th. At our synagogue alone, over dozens of weddings have taken place, including one between our beloved rabbi and rebbitzin, Lisa Edwards and Tracy Moore.
Instead of blathering on again about how such unions are helping, not hurting, the institution of marriage, how these families have every right to be legally protected the same way other families are, and how the Yes on 8 campaign is built almost entirely on a web of preposterous fear-mongering lies, I will instead show you a video put together by one of our recently married congregants.
In this video, Pam Postrel includes photos from almost all of the weddings that have occurred at our synagogue, Beth Chayim Chadashim, since June, including hers to partner Mindy. Kendall, Leah, and I know all of these couples and their children. Take a look:
I wish people supporting Prop 8 could meet these families. They are just normal, loving people, of course, with the same issues, joys, and challenges as everyone else. Thousands of same-sex couples in California are now married. Even if this hateful piece of legislation passes, scholars agree that nobody will be able to retroactively invalidate their legal marriages. But, if passed, no other couples will be able to get married and enjoy the legal and psychological benefits (and headaches!) of that status.
If you are supporting Prop 8, this is the type of person you are aligning yourself with. This Yes on 8 video popped up at the end of the video I just showed, I swear I didn’t search through the YouTube files looking for the worst one. But the comments of this bigoted moron perfectly express the views of the people who would take away from same-sex couples the right they now have to get married. I won’t review the many lies being promoted by the Yes on 8 campaign since I’ve covered that in other posts but here’s a link to a video refuting some of them.
Don’t like gay people? Here’s an idea: if you can't support your gay friends or relatives getting married, why not just stay far away from their weddings? Your loss. But change the constitution? Spend your time, money, and energy to deny loving couples and families the rights that other people have? Hey, while we're at it, maybe we should go back to the time not so long ago when black and white people couldn’t get married. How about instituting a California version of the Nuremburg Laws that would prohibit Jews and Gentiles from being legally wed?
I urge all Californians to take a stand against hate, fear, and intolerance and Vote No on Proposition 8.
That was a nice video. But I'm not even sure you need to tug at people's heartstrings to bring them into the fold. There no logical legal reason to prevent gays and lesbians from getting married.
Posted by: Neil | October 30, 2008 at 05:41 PM
I've never seen so many gay Jews in one place!
As a child of a painful heterosexual divorce, I love watching these happy gay marriage videos. I get all weepy.
I'm fortunate to live up here in NorCal where there's no question about who will (and should) win the Prop. 8 debate.
Posted by: Mary | October 30, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Great post, Danny! And so tactful.
I just told everyone (in my blog post) to quit lying and get over themselves. Marriage was never some man/woman romance thing, it was always about property.
They just drag the references to little children in to ratchet up the homophobic hysteria.
But I will never get a certificate for tact!!!
We voted Yes on Obama/Biden and No on 8 last Saturday so now everyone else is going to have to catch up with us! Yippee!
Have you gone to see "Changeling" yet?
Posted by: La Framéricaine | October 30, 2008 at 07:21 PM
Awesome post, Danny! As one of your Democrat lesbian friends: THANK YOU!
Posted by: Leigh Peake | October 30, 2008 at 07:54 PM
Voted early..Voted NO.. HELL NO!
Posted by: Andrea | October 31, 2008 at 12:02 AM
Wow. And here I am, worrying about how having the president live around the corner will affect my getting to and from Divinity School every day . . .
Here's an obvious bit of wisdom, which I acquired when I lived in Colorado, and which Californians have known for a long time: any time there's an effort to change the state constitution, odds are it's a really bad idea propagated by people with an Agenda.
Posted by: david | October 31, 2008 at 05:41 AM
Thanks so much for speaking out! It helps so much when straight folks stand up for the cause.
Posted by: Rhea | October 31, 2008 at 07:11 AM
If there was any way I could move from Iowa to California just to vote no on Prop 8, I would.
Posted by: churlita | October 31, 2008 at 08:59 AM
If I lived in California, I would vote no too. As a woman married 38 1/2 yrs to the same man, why prevent anyone from marrying? IT would have NO effect on my relationship nor anyone else's and does not interfere with marraige at all.
Posted by: Judy | October 31, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Ah...Danny Miller, I love you! (Don't worry, Kendall--I'm no threat.) :)
Posted by: Wanda | October 31, 2008 at 10:42 PM
For the "Yes on 8" people, how has your life and/or your marriage been changed since gay marriage became legal ? How will your life and/or your marriage be changed if it passes ? How will your life and/or your marriage be changed if it does not pass ?
Because of their very agressive campaign and strong financial support in favor of Proposition 8, I think that the Mormon church should have their tax exempt status yanked.
Posted by: Gordon | November 01, 2008 at 07:02 PM
I don't understand how my choice of marriage partner impacts anyone else in the country or even on my block. It's not ok for an adult gay or lesbian couple to marry, but it's ok to encourage pregnant teenage children to?! I find it interesting that republicans oppose gay marriage. They want to deregulate everything except your personal life.
Posted by: Meg | November 02, 2008 at 12:10 AM