Is it just me or was that the most boring Oscars presentation in the history of the awards? Is it because they only had a few weeks to prepare for the broadcast? Maybe they would have been better off with the clips show they were working on in the event that the strike hadn’t ended. Apart from some of host Jon Stewart’s zingers (and I’m sure he brought his own writers), the show seemed as if it were put together by some very rusty folks. YAWN.
Last year I tried to be positive in my Oscars post mortem, and I listed the ten best things about the show. This year I can’t even come up with ten comments, good OR bad. But here are some random ramblings:
Jon Stewart scores. I used to resent when non-film people hosted the show but now I see that the job requires some very unique and specific skills, all of which Jon Stewart has in spades. What works best, in my opinion, is someone who can pull off a balancing act between reverence and cynicism. The host needs to take the awards seriously, but with a wink and a healthy dose of awareness about the absurdity of the evening. Bob Hope could do it. And Stewart is a worthy successor. “Before we spend the next four to five hours giving each other golden statues, let's take a moment to congratulate ourselves.” Perfect line to start things out with. I think Jon Stewart did a good job throughout, I only wish he’d been able to goose up the bland proceedings even more. He touched on some political humor but didn’t go very far with it, and I was surprised there wasn’t more mention of Obama-mania. The best joke of the evening, and the only one that had me screaming with laughter, was at poor Hillary’s expense. After referring to nominee Julie Christie, he explained that her movie “Away From Her” was about “a woman who forgets about her husband. Hillary Clinton called it the feel-good movie of the year.” Now that’s funny.
I also liked his reference to the incredibly violent slate of Best Picture nominees with “Juno” as the one exception. “Tonight we look beyond the dark days to focus on happier fare—this year's slate of Oscar-nominated psychopathic killer movies. Does this town need a hug? No Country For Old Men, Sweeney Todd, There Will Be Blood. All I can say is: thank God for teen pregnancy!” And I’m glad he pointed out the absurdity of Vanity Fair canceling its big Oscar party in deference to the writers. Huh? They did this AFTER the strike ended, it made no sense. “You know another way they could show respect for the writers?” Stewart asked. “Maybe one day invite some of them to the Vanity Fair Oscar party! Don’t worry. They won't mingle.” Worse joke of the evening? A tie between introducing Harrison Ford as a car dealership and the crack about John Travolta parking his airplane on La Brea Avenue. I did like the nod to new technologies. Coming back from the commercial to find Stewart playing Wii Sports on the gigantic screen was funny, as was seeing him watching “Lawrence of Arabia” on his “widescreen” iPhone. I just hope those were topical gags and not product placements. But despite his talents, Stewart wasn’t enough to save this dreary show. Is Billy Crystal finally ready to come back?
The perils of presenting. I know I’m kvetching about the lack of spice on the show, but giving the presenters stale comedy bits to read mechanically off the TelePrompter is so NOT the answer. Every one of these routines was cringe-worthy, especially the tired trick of announcing one set of presenters and then bringing out two “substitutes” as they did last night with Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen arguing which one of them was Halle Berry and which one was Judi Dench. NOT funny, and I really felt for the guys, especially Jonah Hill who we met last year at "The Tonight Show" and who seemed like such a nice guy. These bits are impossible to pull off, why can’t they just allow the presenters’ own personalities to come through. I remember those rare occasions in Oscars of yore when someone broke from the script and had a spontaneous moment (Bette Midler and Jack Nicholson come to mind). It was like getting a breath of fresh, clean air in a collapsed mine shaft. Even the brilliant Helen Mirren, who could make a recitation of the ingredients on a can of Spaghettios sound like Shakespeare, faltered when she tried to deliver the joke that was handed to her about Hollywood studio heads. Bring ad-libbing back to the Oscars!
Make me cry, damn it. That’s what it takes for me to really enjoy an Oscar broadcast—some genuine moments of sincere emotion. I was only moved to tears twice last night. First, when Javier Bardem launched into rapid-fire Spanish for the sake of his mother who was his date at the show and was obviously choked up at seeing her son up on that stage. Second, when “Juno” screenwriter Diablo Cody broke down while accepting her Oscar and thanked her parents for “accepting me exactly as I am.” I had no idea that the tattooed screenwriter was a former stripper. She definitely seems like a unique character for Hollywood and so hip that I hope we don’t find out she’s really a Harvard MBA student who fabricated a more interesting past.
R.I.P. American actors. This is the first Academy Awards where not a single American actor won an award (oops, it happened once before at the 1965 awards—see below). I didn’t hear anyone comment on that last night, or the fact that two of the awards went to British actors playing Americans. Is this a statement about our country’s actors? About the Academy’s love affair with Europeans? Not that I begrudge any of the winners their awards. I admit I was shocked that Tilda Swinton won for her role in “Michael Clayton.” She was great in the part, I just didn’t think she had a chance in hell. Neither did she, apparently, I’ve never seen someone look so shocked. And apparently she already made good on her promise to give her Oscar to her agent (and Oscar-lookalike) Brian Swardstrom. I love Swinton, she definitely marches to her own drummer and I admired her decision to wear that schmatte and not a stitch of makeup. God love her, with those blaring lights in the Kodak Theatre, she looked like she was auditioning for the opening scene in “Six Feet Under.” And one of my favorite moments of the evening was when Daniel Day-Lewis went up to accept his Oscar from Helen Mirren and kneeled down to be knighted by the Queen. “That’s the closest I’ll ever come to getting a knighthood,” he quipped. I doubt it, I bet he gets that honor in due time, if not by Queen Elizabeth then surely by the future King Charles or William.
Why I HATE awards shows. The Best Actress presentation reminded me again why I hate, loathe, and despise these shows (and yet can't stop watching them). As I mentioned in my Oscar predictions (I scored an abysmal 2 out of 5 this year), I thought French actress Marion Cotillard was so magnificent in “La Vie en Rose” that she deserved every accolade she could possibly get. But I also thought Julie Christie gave a remarkable performance in “Away From Her” and I was excited that she was the rumored favorite for the award. When Cotillard’s name was announced, all I could think of was how disappointed Christie must be since so many people thought she would win. I know the actress will be just fine, but situations like that make me ponder the insanity of pitting these apple-and-orange performances against each other to decide which one is “best.” It’s really absurd, why do we do it? What is this insatiable need we have to compete? That said, Félicitations, Marion, j’espère de vous voir dans beaucoup de films dans le futur! Cotillard was delightful in her babbling speech, and such a knockout that you have to marvel at her Oscar-winning makeup people who transformed her into the middle-aged Edith Piaf. I just hope Cotillard doesn’t become the next Audrey Tatou and forsake the excellent French cinema for lousy higher-paying American blockbusters. Oops, too late, I just checked and saw that her next two films are American, but they sound good: one about 1930s gangsters with Johnny Depp and then the film version of the musical “Nine” with Oscar winner Javier Bardem playing Guido and a stellar international cast including Penelope Cruz and Sophia Loren. I’M IN! Is there a part for Julie Christie in the film?
I am dis-enchanted! Look, I am man enough to admit that I LOVED the movie “Enchanted.” I found it to be a charming, poignant, and clever take on the disparities between fairy tale dreams and the real world. I thought Amy Adams was so good in the lead role that she should have been nominated for Best Actress. I admit I was surprised when the film nabbed three of the five Best Song nominations. The songs were perfect for the film, but they were themselves parodies of treacly Disney fare and didn’t exactly stand alone as ballads that would live on as part of our canon of Oscar-nominated standards. But as much as I’ve complained in the past about the overblown production numbers for the song nominees, where did the budget go for this year’s songs? Did they use it for the live feed from Iraq in which five American soldiers in Baghdad presented the award for Best Documentary? Or for the not-very-funny animated bit that had Jerry Seinfeld’s bee character presenting the award for animation? The “Happy Working Song” was one of the best scenes in “Enchanted” because it was a technical tour-de-force. Amy Adams, having left her fairy tale world for gritty Manhattan, enlists the help of her animal friends to clean up Patrick Dempsey’s slovenly apartment. But instead of animated bluebirds, bunnies, and adorable mice wearing bow ties, she brings in armies of real cockroaches, city pigeons, and oversized New York sewer rats. It’s a brilliant scene contrasted against the inane frivolity of the Snow White-like song. So whose bright idea was it to stick Amy Adams on the stage alone in a pretty dress to warble this song without the slightest prop or accoutrement? Ouch. Adams made the best of it, but it was hard to watch. Even Jerry Seinfeld’s bee would have been a help. The other two numbers, while at least they had some costumes and dancing, were still such a bore that if I hadn’t already seen and loved the film, I would’ve immediately deleted it from my Netflix queue. Couldn’t Debbie Allen have been brought back to work something up behind poor Amy Adams?
Bravo, Jon Stewart! One last kudo to Jon Stewart for the classiest moment of the evening. When Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová won the Oscar for their song “Falling Slowly” from the film “Once,” the ruthless Academy orchestra cut Irglova off just as she reached the podium to make a few remarks. Coming back from the commercial, Jon Stewart took a few moments to bring the young woman back to the stage to make her speech. You go, Jon! Will Stewart’s bold gesture finally sound the death knell for that horrific practice of interrupting winners with blaring music to get them off the stage? God, I hate that. Of course most of the winners’ speeches are boring as hell, but I’d still rather let them finish, it’s just embarrassingly rude to give them the bum’s rush in that way. Good for Glen Hansard, by the way, who dropped out of school at the age of 13, and once played with his band The Frames at my sister’s bar in Chicago. And Irglová isn’t even 20 yet!
I guess that’s enough for now. No use following a long, crushingly boring Oscars show with a long, crushingly boring blog post about it. I should stop before commenting on honorary Oscar winner Robert Boyle, who while very much deserving of this award, gave an endless speech that was so awkward you could hear the nominees fidgeting in their seats. The director of the show kept cutting to wonderful, sweet Laura Linney, the only person in the audience crying from happiness as Boyle spoke instead of wincing in pain. And I should refrain from mentioning my lack of interest in this year’s film montages, something I usually look forward to, although I did enjoy Jon Stewart’s tongue-in-cheek salute to films featuring binoculars and bad dreams. And I shouldn’t be a killjoy and say how disappointed I was that the Coen brothers won so many awards for “No Country for Old Men.” I’m just not a big fan of this film, I much preferred Paul Thomas Anderson’s riveting “There Will Be Blood,” if we had to choose between violent depictions of American life. On the other hand, it’s fun to see such un-Hollywood types make it to the big time and it brought one of those much-craved tears to my eyes to see how happy and excited the brilliant Frances McDormand was to see her husband Joel Coen win so many awards. I’m so looking forward to McDormand’s next starring role in “Mrs. Pettigrew Lives for a Day,” co-starring Amy Adams, which opens next week. I hope to see both of those dames on the Kodak stage next year.
You are so not alone. Those of us who were live twittering the Oscars last night are in total agreement. Even the "girls" on The View agreed. TOTALLY boring.
I got interviewed for the TV section of the NYTimes on this exact topic. I think it comes out tomorrow. Heh.
Even the dresses were awful. What was with all those feathered tops?
Posted by: margalit | February 25, 2008 at 03:52 PM
I, too, laughed out loud at the Hillary joke, as well as the comment about Hollywood needing a hug. And I'm so excited that I actually knew something that you didn't know about a movie (the first and last time that will happen, I think)-that the writer of Juno was a stripper. Can't remember where I heard that...
Posted by: Shari | February 25, 2008 at 04:10 PM
My favorite night of the year:
1. Jon Stewart was quite good; the show was overwhelmingly tasteful; and I generally had no problem with who got what...All in all you were absolutely right, Danny -- it was boring!!
(Having said that, I still managed to cry during every award presentation.)
2. To me, the presenters were better than usual, or maybe the show was simply shorter than usual, but there were still waaay too many bad montages. One great one would be better.
3. The speech by the Honorary inductee, Robert Boyle, was tremendous. Just when you thought he wasn't going to find his words, he did and they were brilliant.
4. Best song nominees: I can't even talk about this subject. Eddie was robbed.
Mary.
Posted by: Mary (suddenly posting too many comments) | February 25, 2008 at 06:08 PM
Danny you forgot your other "degrees of separation" from Glen Hansard. Remember me? I worked for your Dad and Wilco and my husband Rob is in the Frames? Rob worked at Electrical Audio and has known Sue for many years? shameless plug on my part? maybe ... but I love reading your blog and seeing how you connect your world. hope all is well, enjoy Wilco on SNL - so cool!
Posted by: cherie | February 25, 2008 at 06:18 PM
We are totally going to fight about the Cohen Bros vs. PT Anderson this weekend. I am so happy they won! No Country For Old Men is a near perfect film. TWBB is an indulgent DDL lovefest.
However you are right. Ceremony was a total snooze fest.
Posted by: Ellen | February 25, 2008 at 06:53 PM
The Oscahs: Boring boring boring.
I think you're spot on about the importance of balancing the reverent and the cynical, but I think Stewart falls pretty far from Bob Hope's mark in doing this. Of course, my assessment could be skewed by nostalgia, and from reading your blog, Danny, I think you're a person who knows how easily one's assessment can be skewed by nostalgia.
The Vanity Fair joke about, uh, actually inviting writers to the party was terrific, especially the follow-up about not mingling. I wanted to hear a lot more about how the lack of writers brings a powerful industry to its knees; how, without writers, the universe becomes a meaningless void, etc. Really was hoping a major theme would, you know, be developed here.
Dame Helen may have stumbled over a word, but her TelePrompter reading still sounded Shakespearean to me. Regardless of WHAT she says, the WAY she says it makes it believable. In fact, the dreadful TelePrompter intros are a way of finding out who's great. Mirren recovered gracefully from her flub to deliver the rest of her Prompter lines as though she thought they'd make us better people. A truly great actor can interest you in her character by seeming to respect bad material and by making it sound convincing (remember how at the end of "Evening," Meryl Streep utters that superficial wrap-up line, "We are mysterious creatures," and we're moved and touched and we crest out of that scene on a wave of profundity, only to realize later (outside the theater, when Meryl isn't around), that it's really a lame line? (Moral: the TelePrompter stuff is bad, but it can reveal good. But even though good artists can pull off bad TP lines, the TP lines should really be better [see rant, I mean, paragraph #3 above]. Also, you may not dis Dame Helen even slightly).
Agree with you completely that Jon Stewart bringing Markéta Irglová back onstage was the classiest moment of the evening. But not because the Academy orchestra shouldn't cut people off -- where oh where were they during Robert Boyle's epic recitation when we really needed them? Markéta Irglová and Glen Hansard were genuinely surprised and awed and grateful. Bless their hearts, they weren't sure they even deserved to be AT the Oscars, much less win them. They were humble. That's what I'd like to see more of at awards ceremonies.
Now, about Diablo Cody's secret MBA studies. . . .
Posted by: Marcia | February 26, 2008 at 02:51 AM
Thanks for confirming my initial thoughts. After Jon Stewart's opening monologue, I turned off the show and found other things to do. This was the first time in at least five years that I did not attend the local Oscar party and I was so relieved that no one pressured me into attending that I was actually a-snooze in my bed by 9:45 eastern time. Sounds like the good night's sleep was the best choice.
Good recap. Please watch for me next year, too. ;)
Posted by: Pam G | February 26, 2008 at 04:33 AM
I tend to agree with everyone else...it was a total bore. Perhaps Jon Stewart had a handful of jokes total. Not enough for a show...even Chevy Chase might have been better? LOL To me, it seemed that the writers didn't have enough time for this one or they picked the wrong writers this year. Sorry, it just wasn't my year.
Maybe next year will be better.
Posted by: Judy | February 26, 2008 at 07:20 AM
You know why I love your Oscar recaps? Because I'm now free from having to sit through that goddamn show. Your summaries have proven far superior to the "real thing." Thanks for giving me several hours of my life back.
Posted by: David | February 26, 2008 at 07:34 AM
Awesome Oscar commentary.I agreed with everything you said.
Posted by: churlita | February 26, 2008 at 09:14 AM
Okay so Helen Mirren's dress. Was it not gorgeous or am I just getting old? I thought it was the most gorgeous thing I've seen in ages. Was so irked by Stacy (host of TLC's What Not to Wear) dissing her the next day by saying that she only wore those sleeves to cover up her arms!
Posted by: Maria S. | February 26, 2008 at 09:17 AM
Maria, I couldn't agree more about Helen Mirren's dress--the PERFECT Oscar gown. My sister even clipped a picture of it so she can recreate it if she ever gets to go to another awards show (first she steals Helen Mirren's hair and makeup person, now her dress...). And what's wrong with sleeves all of a sudden?
Posted by: Danny | February 26, 2008 at 09:34 AM
I only bother watching the oscars when Jon Stewart does the hosting.
Posted by: urban memo | February 26, 2008 at 03:04 PM
You know, I've never thought about it until this post but that music to get people off stage IS extremely obnoxious. It's like a musical turn-stile to get people moving along and what's worse, it's the cheesiest way to do it. Good for Jon Stewart!
Posted by: Ian | February 26, 2008 at 03:13 PM
Re the lack of awards for American actors, this did happen once before: in 1964 the recipients were Rex Harrison, Julie Andrews, Peter Ustinov and Lila Kedrova (three Brits and a Russian!)
And yeah, this year's show was really lacking in excitement and spontaneity. Maybe next year.
Posted by: Kitty | February 26, 2008 at 10:31 PM
As they say in tv-land, the Oscars have "jumped the shark" for me. I had no doubt you were going to write a post about how boring the Oscars were. And let's be honest, you can pretty much write the same post every year for at least a decade. Clearly, the problem with the telecast (which was the lowest rated ever this year) is that it is schizo -- it wants to be both hip and reverent. I like Jon Stewart a lot, but I found him boring for the show, wishing Billy Crystal or even Johnny Carson could come back. Jon Stewart is too cerebral and doesn't have enough "show business" in his blood.
I know you're going to disagree with me because you respect the cinema so much, but they should also cut out several of the categories and award them at their technical awards ceremony, such as the sound editing. Most people just don't care and putting this dull stuff on TV doesn't inspire people to love the movies. Maybe they should just show who won what yesterday, and the include a little clip of the winning movie to show the audience WHY they won. Use the Oscar telecast as a teaching tool.
And old-timers have fond memories of the dance numbers. Bring back the shtick! My fondest memories as a child were of watching the Oscars, waiting for something eccentric to happen, like a streaker. The show is now as controlled as the Republican convention. Jon Stewart bringing a woman back to the podium?! That's the unexpected highlight of the show?
If I were a child now in Queens watching this show, I would have no fantasy of someday moving to Los Angeles and getting involved in Hollywood. American Gladiators would seem more fun and glamorous.
Posted by: Neil | February 27, 2008 at 07:17 AM
Sorry it took ,e so long to get here Danny...I wanted to write my own Oscar "revies" before I read anyone else's and I ebded up doing two posts about it....Anyway....I agree with you on some things, completely. The one thing I do not agree with you on was Bob Boyle! I thought his speech was amazing! Inspirational---and about what Hollywood used to be about! I didn't feel hom ever reaching for words, at all! (When I read that I thought...were we watching two different broadcasts???) I was very moved that this man of 98---this man, still so incredibly articulate....And the Career? Well....it is from a different time, that's for sure!
When you get a chance, do read my take on this years show....!
Sounds like you are having a GREAT time in NY, except for NOT being prepared for snow!!! LOL!
Posted by: OldOldLady Of The Hillsl | March 02, 2008 at 01:46 AM
Naomi, I feel guilty about my snarky comments about Bob Boyle's speech. Yeah, he stammered a bit but he's not a performer and he's amost 99 years old! If I'd realized that I would have been less obnoxious about this amazing guy—see what these damn Oscars do to me?
Hooray, Robert Boyle, an incredibly talent who so deserved his lifetime achievement award!
Posted by: Danny | March 02, 2008 at 06:15 AM