Today is the third anniversary of my blog. I still don’t know what possessed me to start writing in this thing on December 23, 2004. I had never heard the word “blog” until a few days earlier and I wasn’t really sure what a blog was. I’d only read one or two of them but I thought I’d give it a try, never dreaming I’d still be writing in it three years later.
Here are a few lessons I learned along the way:
Blogs give you creative freedom. I spend much of my work life as an editor on other people’s manuscripts or writing for hire on topics that I don’t choose. I love this work but my blog provides a much needed outlet for writing about whatever I’m interested in at the time. I often find myself droning on and on about obscure or arcane topics and it never even occurs to me to wonder whether anyone will be interested in reading my posts (until later, that is—see below). I cling steadfastly to the control I have over this blog and find it extremely satisfying. I wouldn’t be against working on a commercial blog, one with a specific audience in mind that is created with the aim of making money, but this blog will always be a place where I can write about whatever the hell I feel like—even blogging itself, a subject sure to send readers scurrying to the next URL! It’s a funny balance, because part of me clearly craves attention (why else would I be blogging?) and yet as I sit down to write, I really only consider what’s of interest to ME at that moment—it’s a narcissist’s dream! Is it taking time away from other creative projects that could ultimately generate income? Possibly, but it’s also provided sparks for ideas that I never would have had otherwise.
Blogs make you more neurotic than you already were. Three years into blogging, I would love to report that I have a completely healthy attitude about people commenting on my blog. Didn’t I just say how much I enjoy writing for myself, without obsessing about what I believe the “public” wants? And yet there’s a part of me that still judges each post I write based on the number of comments I receive. I have blogger friends who receive more than 50 comments on every post, no matter what the topic. In three years, I’ve only had one post that generated more than 50 comments. So what? Why do I care? I appreciate the people who comment, but I also appreciate the readers who don't. It really shouldn't matter. This is my 349th post, I’ve received 3,429 comments to date, and I’ve had 658,420 hits. But don’t by impressed by that last number since the majority of those hits are from Google searches that inadvertently lead people to my site. (In the past twenty minutes, I’ve gotten hits from people searching for christina crawford, wilco trivia, amy winehouse brother, hairbrush spanking in the 50s, kendall hailey today, support our troops christmas decorations, diane keaton nude, carolyn jones topless, white college dudes and their black girlfriends, flying monkey bolsheviks, and scarlett johansson breasts.) I know that when I read other people’s blogs, I only leave a comment if I have something to add, no matter how much I enjoyed the post. At least my insecurity never impacts what I write about. If it did, I wouldn't have recently followed an insanely looooong post about Jewish pogroms in 1880s Russia with an insanely looooong post about the Armenian genocide. Oy.
Blogs are private spaces (commenters are not protected by the First Amendment!). As much as I just said how much I value comments on my blog, I never hesitate to zap ones that I find offensive or freakishly bizarre. This isn’t about people disagreeing with me, I have no problem with that, just the crazy nuts who write things that are so obnoxious I can’t bear to house their ravings on my site. Included in this category are a smattering of neo-Nazis and actual Nazis who have commented on some of my posts that touch on Hitler and the Holocaust. I’ve had several folks, including the grandson of a high-ranking Nazi official, extol the virtues of Adolf Hitler, explain how he got a bum rap, and scream about how the Holocaust has been grossly exaggerated by Zionist activists. Fascinating stuff, you Nazi fucks, now get off my site. I then receive outraged emails from these people accusing me of censorship and violating their free speech. Huh? They are free to write whatever they like, no one is threatening to have them arrested, but I am under no obligation to pepper MY blog with their crazy bullshit. I’ve seen such complaints on many blogs and it saddens me how some people have so little understanding of free speech issues. Maybe I should count my blessings about the number of comments on this site. Quality, not quantity, right?
Blogs put you in touch with amazing people. By far, the most rewarding thing about having a blog is the online community that develops and the people that you connect or re-connect with. I am so grateful for all the friends I’ve made as a result of this blog. There are people I’ve met who I feel I’ve known my whole life, other people I feel so close to from reading their blogs or their comments on my blog that I can’t believe I’ve never met them in the flesh. I’ve discovered several new branches of my family tree, gotten in touch with people I haven’t spoken to since Lyndon Johnson was in office, and made connections with fascinating people of all ages, backgrounds, and beliefs. And yes, a handful of Nazis and other psychopaths, but you can’t expect it all to be good!
I read somewhere that the third anniversary is supposedly when a couple becomes aware of the durability of their relationship. That’s why leather is the traditional gift for these celebrations. I think that’s true—after three years I feel very grateful for what this blog gives me. I may have to battle the pre-Christmas crowds today and go buy a leather cover for my MacBook. Thanks to all of you for stopping by during these past three years!
I gotta say, doing that big, PITA hoopla for Neil was worth it if only b/c it brought me to you :-)
I hope you'll blog and blog and blog. I won't go anywhere if you won't.
Posted by: communicatrix | December 23, 2007 at 12:32 PM
Danny - a wonderful post. I'm one of those people like you who read blogs, but don't necessarily (well, maybe never) comment. Well this time, I'm going to try to help you reach over 50 comments....
Posted by: your St. Louis cousin | December 23, 2007 at 01:27 PM
Would that be a blog birthday gift to add a comment to make it an over fifty comments goal?
I appreciated what you said about the freedom of speech, that some strange commenters misinterprete are their birth right to trash and annoy anyone.
Long live your blog for many more years to come. Thanks for writing it.
Posted by: Otir | December 23, 2007 at 01:51 PM
I've stopped by before but never commented. So I thought I should.
Posted by: Ash | December 23, 2007 at 02:05 PM
Danny, your beautiful writing makes it easy to comment. Thanks for 3 years of your honest and heartfelt perspective of the world.
Posted by: cruisin-mom | December 23, 2007 at 03:18 PM
I love your blog, Danny. I'm a huge fan so you better keep it up or ELSE!
Happy Blogoversary.
Posted by: margalit | December 23, 2007 at 04:15 PM
Happy Blog Birthday!
I found your blog a month ago while doing an image search for "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" and am glad I did! I've become a faithful reader and am looking foward to more interesting posts from you.
Posted by: Rosa | December 23, 2007 at 04:46 PM
Danny,
You are also blogging because you are an excellent writer and it is a great medium for your talent. I am so glad you and blogging found each other.
Happy 3rd anniversary. May you have many more years.
Posted by: Laurie | December 23, 2007 at 05:48 PM
Danny, I'm not a big blog-reader, but I read every single one of your posts. Why? Not because you're a good blogger, but because you are a fantastic WRITER. I would read you in any medium, even sky-writing. You are honest, generous, and never boring. Happy birthday to your blog. I promise to comment more, I didn't realize it was that important to you!
Posted by: Dave Max Crawford | December 23, 2007 at 10:36 PM
I'm one of those who fund your blog doing a Google search for Kendall Hailey and I'm so glad I did. I read every post by never comment. Maybe most of your readers are products of the "children are to be seen and not heard" school of child rearing.
Keep the posts coming-you give voice to my anxiety neurosis!
Posted by: Judy | December 24, 2007 at 06:08 AM
Danny, Happy anniversary! I've been reading your blog for a year and a half now and I'm a total fan. I'm looking forward to many more. I hope someday in the future you will write a book that we can all read....
Posted by: jennifer | December 24, 2007 at 06:13 AM
Came across your blog about 6-8 months ago while looking around for info on the Lollypop Dragon. I've been popping in ever since and have yet to leave a comment until now. After reading your blog entry today, I figured I'd be one to leave some good feedback for you by telling you how your blog is always fun to read ~ And informative! Please keep it up!
Happy blog-anniversary!
Posted by: Amelia | December 24, 2007 at 07:12 AM
Happy Blogaversary!
Posted by: Melinda | December 24, 2007 at 02:07 PM
Danny,
I too have been a faithful reader since I stumbled on your blog (after google-ing Marlena Detriech: "I vant to be alone.")
I never miss a column and appreciate your point of view. This, is from a fan from Montana who also tries to convince others of his heterosexuality in spite of a fondness for old movies, counted cross stich, love of opera, can cook and clean, and has a very low testosterone score. Ah, me. What to do?
Don't give up Danny! Let's hope this entry pushes you over your fifty responses.
Make the Yuletide Gay,
Steve
Posted by: Steve | December 24, 2007 at 05:02 PM
Danny,
Happy 3rd Blogiversary.
I'm so DAMN glad I found your blog back when you were "Andy Hardy". You are a tremendous writer, raconteur and trivia treasure. It's a pleasure to read your words and my pleasure to comment on those words.
Here's to many more years of fine writing, neuroses and all.
Posted by: Pearl | December 24, 2007 at 08:08 PM
BTW, Danny, my first blog post was December 15, 2004 -- so I beat you by just a few days!
I think every blogger that celebrates a blog anniversary should either re-post that first post or link to that first post. Sometimes by doing so, they can see how far they've come.
Posted by: Pearl | December 25, 2007 at 06:04 AM
hi danny, i'm a new-ish and very big wilco fan. that's how i found your blog a few months ago, and i want you to know i have your blog bookmarked and check it regularly so i don't miss a post. you've got a great turn of mind, wit, and a wonderful writing style. thank you.
Posted by: nancy | December 25, 2007 at 06:18 AM
I think I **might** have gotten 50 comments -- in the history of my blog!! Counting comments is the first brick in the road to writing hell.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Happy Holidays.
Posted by: david | December 25, 2007 at 06:46 AM
First, a very happy 3rd Blog-Anniversary! Congratulations on having kept it going so far. I come here regularly, and I am always fascinated by your writing style and by the content of your posts - your erudition and knowledge of popular culture are just plainly amazing!
I do not always agree with what you write, but I would never dare act like a nut job on the comment section of your blog (for example, as much as I have tried over the years to love that band, I really do not care for Wilco, but I have absolutely nothing against those who worship Jeff Tweedy and his band.) I respect your ideas, because you always make great points when exposing them.
I am always, always delighted to come here and find a new post, because it never fails to be high quality stuff!
Posted by: Elisabeth | December 25, 2007 at 07:54 AM
My favorite part about blogging (of your three reasons) is the last. I love meeting cyberfriends I would never, ever find in real time in the real world. These folks, many (includes you) whom I aspire to change from virtual to the other kind, have been more like "old friends" I've just caught up with.
Your posts have given me courage and permission to write mine, too, on the long-ish side;-)
Posted by: tamar | December 25, 2007 at 08:40 AM
Happy 3rd Anniversary. I recently discovered your blog (within the last several months) and have really enjoyed reading your insightful posts. So thanks!
Posted by: Mariam Farah | December 25, 2007 at 09:09 AM
Happy Anniversay! You write honestlyand articulately and I'm always glad I've stopped by. My blog and your are the same age, maybe it's time for a play date.
Posted by: neil fleischmann | December 25, 2007 at 03:14 PM
Happy anniversary. As I've said many times before, I love your blog and everything you write...Whether I comment on it or not.
Posted by: churlita | December 25, 2007 at 03:17 PM
Danny, I've been very bad about commenting on your blog and I'm making a 3rd-year resolution to change that. But as a "younger" blogging comrade (inspired by you and a couple of others), I'm so grateful to be able to screen comments on my own blog. Because of my subject matter (people over 50 and sex), I get some strange, shall we say, intercourse. We have that in common. I think of all the women that have been chased from the blogosphere because of vicious, threatening "commenters" (especially if they were blogging about politics or web2.0 or any arena considered male by these maniacs).
So if you're writing things that make the Nazis go nutters, all the more reason to keep on keeping on. Congrats on your third anniversary. I was very excited to read that it's a leather event!
All the best,
Sue
Posted by: www.suekatz.com | December 25, 2007 at 05:45 PM
Congrats!! Blogging really is truly freeing!
You should consider joining JBlogs so more can read your posts & have fun:
http://www.israelforum.com/blog_home.php
Posted by: Barbara | December 25, 2007 at 07:47 PM
I afraid that this header gives the wrong impression:
"Blogs are private spaces (commenters are not protected by the First Amendment!)"
The First Amendment does protect a blogger in his private space, but the owner of the space may control what is published. The First Amendment does not prevent a property owner -- and blogs are certainly property -- from regulating what is said or published on his property, but the government may not (with a few and growing exceptions) interfere with what is said or published.
The First Amendment applies, but it doesn't usually trump the rights of the property owner.
Posted by: Nicolas Martin | December 26, 2007 at 05:33 AM
Danny,
As you know you got me started on blogging and as *I* head towards *my* third anniversary of blogging, you are one of the "amazing people" I have to thank for it. All those things you have learned along the way - well, they pretty much fit perfectly with what I think and feel about blogging.
Happy Anniversary, Danny!
P.S. I love your loooong posts about all sorts of everything!
Posted by: tamarika | December 26, 2007 at 05:37 AM
this is a great blog and I read it a lot, even if I don't often make comments.
Posted by: linser | December 26, 2007 at 07:23 AM
Happy Anniversary! I couldn't agree more with you that blogs make you more neurotic than you already were (you've posted something that generated over 50 comments?! I'm lucky to get ten on any given post. Not that I'm jealous or anything, mind you) and that they are a perfect outlet for narcistic tendencies. But, you're right: the connections made with others all over the world are just awesome. So, let me thank you here for being one of the people in my life who encouraged me to start blogging.
Posted by: Emily Barton | December 26, 2007 at 08:28 AM
Hi Danny,
Long time no comment, but your 3rd year anniversary seems like an important time to jump in. As all of your readers have affirmed, you are a special writer who elevates blogging to an exceptional level.
You were my inspiration for starting my blog, but my research and multi-media efforts can't compare to yours.
Please keep it up! Wishing you many more years of writing, enlightening, and entertaining,
Love,
Elaine
Posted by: Elaine Soloway | December 26, 2007 at 09:36 AM
Happy Anniversary! I truly admire your dedication and continue to enjoy your work.
The only thing that would make this blog better is if it were called "Hairbrush Spanking in the 50's".
Other than that: Rock on!
Posted by: Scott Egan | December 26, 2007 at 05:17 PM
I just wanted to say that some of my favorite time with my husband over the last three years has been reading his blog. I NEVER FAIL to be enlightened, inspired, amused into hysterics, moved to tears and/or all of the above. And the best part is when you write about me! (It's too pathetic to tell how many times I've gone back and read my birthday posts... Let's just say if I left a comment every time, those would have well over fifty comments too!) Truly, there are no happier words for me than your usually quite dour announcement, "Oy! I posted."
Posted by: Your Wife | December 27, 2007 at 02:02 AM
I stumbled across your blog a couple of months ago while googling for info on the jewish faith and anything related. I am recently married (to a lovely jewish guy) and I just wanted to make sure when it came to Channukah and different holidays, I would be up to speed. Well, like I said I found your blog and I read it all the time. I enjoy all of your blogs. So this is the first time I have ever left a comment. I am sure that there are many who read your blogs like myself who just never leave comments. Don't let that get you down!! We love to read it just sometimes don't have the time to respond. Continue to enlighten us. :)
Posted by: Marty Landau | December 28, 2007 at 10:05 AM
Thanks so much to everyone for sharing those nice thoughts! I appreciate all these comments very much, even though I feel embarrassed that I begged for them. My resolution for my fourth year of blogging is to stop worrying about comments one way or the other and to accept whatever comes with gratitude and perspective!
Posted by: Danny | December 28, 2007 at 12:04 PM
:-) I read your blog every week and never comment, but I think you're brilliant and often funny, and you have been on my blogroll for months. You often write of things I wouldn't think of writing, such as your piece on "Rent", which had me in stitches.
Here's to three years (and my lame attempt to get you past your previous comment record).
Posted by: Jane Devin | December 28, 2007 at 05:22 PM
Danny,
I discovered your blog some time ago while trying to find out what happened to the girl who thumbed her nose at college and just went and got herself an education all by herself. Been hooked ever since by your wordsmithing. Dang it, Mr. Miller, you sure can put a sentence together.
BTW, can you tell us what Kendall's doing (besides re-reading her birthday posts)? Does she have a blog? Is her new book being published? Is she appearing in any plays in the Southland? [Note to Kendall: I think you'd be astonished to know how many people wonder: "What happened to Matthew?" It's probably tacky of me to mention this in your husband's blog, but hey, we're all grownups now.]
Danny, I think I'll post my remarks 15 times, and that'll give you your 50+ comments. Great work -- keep on bloggin' !
Posted by: Marcia | December 28, 2007 at 11:48 PM
Danny, I still remember the very first post I read of yours. I had to look up how long ago it was: May 2005! (It was your "Critical Moments" post.)
Thanks so much for all the wonderful posts since then!
Posted by: Rurality | December 29, 2007 at 04:26 PM
Danny, I so adore reading your blog. It has introduced me to so much art, music, culture that I wouldn't have been exposed to otherwise, and I'm friends with you!
Like Kendall said, I love it when I "make the blog" and getting insight into how what happens in our lives relates to issues in the world. You inspire thoughts that never really spark or concepts that don't gel until I see them written on this page.
Bravo Danny, keep it up your fans and friends believe in you!
Posted by: Ellen Gartland | December 30, 2007 at 03:19 PM
Somehow I missed this post Danny....I just want to say I am very glad you blog and that you got me started blogging....Both you and Kendall were mu first very supportive "commenters"...And now? Well, you rarely comment and Kendall---NEVER! LOL!
What's with that? Sometimes, as you well know, one just needs to know that someone else has enjoyed what they said....! I know, I ALWAYS enjoy what you have to say and find you to be one of the brightest, most informed and sensitive people writing on The Internet!
I hope this will continue for years and years and years, my dear! CONGRATULATIONS, AND, A VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND KENDALL AND LEAH....! And A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her, too! Thirteen...What a hard year that was for me, too! OY! Glad it looks like Leah is already into some GREAT Teenage years! Skiing and eating dinner at Midnight! LOVE IT!
Posted by: OldOldLady Of The Hills | December 30, 2007 at 10:50 PM
The only greater joy than reading your blog myself is discussing it with equally ardent fans. Since the launch of your blog three years ago, I’ve directed many to your site and they all emerge with laughter in their hearts and passionate opinions about wide-ranging topics they may not have even known about before reading your blog. You’re amazing, Danny! There’s no other I enjoy reading more. While your blog is always wildly entertaining, it’s also profoundly humane. Your spirit – wise, witty, and kind - never fails to move me.
Posted by: Lois Bridges | December 31, 2007 at 05:05 AM
What more is there to say? I too am so happy to read your blogs, and grateful for your Uncle Paul's telling me about it. I just love your blog!!!
Thanks...
there's still a lot of reading for me to catch up with..but the newest one is always the one i want to read.
Posted by: Judy | December 31, 2007 at 07:24 PM
Danny, when I read your entry today about not getting many comments on your blog, I felt kind of bad--after all, I read your column on a regular basis with great pleasure, yet I've never left a comment for you. It made me wonder why, and maybe I've hit upon the answer. Your blog isn't the kind that provokes an immediate response in me, but rather it leaves me quietly mulling over what I've read. I often find myself thinking about something you've written days later; just as often I leave your blog and continue researching the topic you've touched upon. So perhaps the comments thing isn't a fair way to judge how many people appreciate your writing, Danny. Keep up the great blog in '08! For my part, I'll try to de-lurk more often and post a comment once in a while.
Posted by: Harper | December 31, 2007 at 10:04 PM
Bonne Anniversaire, Danny! I came across your blog while searching for info on Roald Dahl, and even though you slammed my cousin in one of your comments, I still read your blog regularly.
Congrats!
Posted by: Mindy | January 01, 2008 at 10:19 AM
Danny,
I don't comment often, but I love reading your blogs--I read them all! As one of those people you have not been in touch with since Johnson was president, I'm so glad we've communicated this past year. Sandy is too! I hope you'll keep writing. I learn something from each one of your blogs.
June
Posted by: June | January 01, 2008 at 08:22 PM
Ditto to what Harper said. :-) And we're now up to 45. Only six more comments to break the record.
By the way, my mother looked very much like Bea Arthur. I enjoyed the video with her and Rock Hudson gleefully singing about drugs and alcohol. My mom was a bit of a lush, too.
I suck at writing filler material, but felt the need to contribute.
Leah is beautiful, by the way. The perfect shock of red hair and a great big smile.
Posted by: Jane Devin | January 01, 2008 at 11:03 PM
Danny,happy anniversary and happy new year!
Posted by: sue g. | January 02, 2008 at 07:39 PM
Ditto on what all have said - your writing is amazing! Only a few more until 50!
Posted by: Marci Karoll | January 12, 2008 at 08:10 PM
I did briefly contemplate copying and pasting this comment 3 times just to hit 50. After all, we ARE from the 'Vote Early, Vote Often' capital of democracy itself. But I figured you might want to hit it the old fashioned way.
And just as a point on perspective, in the first six months that I was blogging (when I was actually blogging regularly), I got single digits in TOTAL comments (and I think half of them were yours). I've mentioned before that your blog is half biography, half commentary, and half community event (wonder why I barely passed math?)
Congrats on the anniversary - I too read every one as they come out. Even when I don't comment.
Posted by: Larry | January 15, 2008 at 01:16 PM