I hold Jews up to a very high standard, I admit it. It’s a dumb thing to do—having expectations of people based on what group they belong to rather than who they are as individuals, but it’s a syndrome that I and many Jews have been guilty of for centuries. “Is that person good for the Jews?” was a common refrain in my house growing up. More than thinking that Jewish people were “above” crimes and indiscretions, I think our secret worry was that as an already persecuted minority, our lives and our status might be tainted by association. I’m sure this is something that American Muslims experience on a daily basis. I remember hearing fears expressed by members of the Korean-American community when the identity of the Virginia Tech murderer was revealed. Would this now reflect badly on them? It didn’t, of course, except among lunatics who were already looking for reasons to hate Korean-Americans.
I abhor any acts of violence, no matter who is the perpetrator, but I know that even today when I hear about a heinous crime in the news, it’s often accompanied by an unconscious sigh of relief when further information reveals that the offender is not Jewish. Maybe this is a marker of my age. I was obviously not around during the national hysteria of the Leo Frank case (1915) or the execution of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg (1953), but I think the ugliness of those high profile and suspect convictions (all of which led to a marked increase in anti-Semitic incidents in this country) was embedded in my genes by nervous ancestors who were proud of their heritage but desperate to avoid any unsavory attention from the Gentile masses. I had friends whose Holocaust survivor parents did not allow them to wear Jewish star necklaces in public. They were so worried that harm would come to their children if they “advertised” their Jewishness that they encouraged a kind of vigorous assimilation (short of marrying a goy) that would allow their loved ones to fly under the mainstream society’s Jewdar.
My high expectations of Jews is not entirely fear-based. It’s also founded on my love for the Jewish people and my personal understanding of Jewish teachings, law, and traditions. As a rule, I do expect Jewish people to have a certain level of compassion for the downtrodden, the ability to identify with people who are persecuted by the larger society, and a basic humanity for all people, regardless of their differences. Obviously there are plenty of examples of Jews, including myself, who frequently fail to live up to this ideal but I still expect it and am shocked and outraged whenever I see the tenets of Judaism hideously twisted to support an agenda of hate and violence. And by that let me quickly say that I’m not talking about any of the issues regarding Palestinians or the division of land in that part of the world—let’s save that important discussion for another time (preferably on someone else’s blog). No, I’m referring to recent actions by the religious right in Israel against Israeli gays and lesbians.
Compared to other countries in the Middle East, Israel is seen as a bastion of tolerance for gays. Indeed, many Palestinian gays have sought refuge on the streets of liberal Tel Aviv and elsewhere. I read one horrific account recently of a 16-year-old Palestinian youth, now living just outside of Tel Aviv, who was outed to the Palestinian Authority and forced to strip and sit on a Coke bottle during his interrogation. There have been reports of Palestinian Authority vigilante squads rounding up gays in refugee camps and throwing them in prison. In the Palestinian-controlled sections of the West Bank and Gaza, sodomy carries a penalty of up to 10 years. Some Arab gays have been encouraged by terrorist groups to become suicide bombers to “purge their moral guilt.” Fundamentalist Islamic courts prescribe capital punishment for homosexual activity. So in Israel, a country that guarantees political asylum for anyone persecuted on the basis of sexual orientation, and where openly gay men and women are allowed to serve in the military, gays are completely safe, right? Not if the extremists on the religious right have anything to say about it.
In an unusual display of cooperation, ultra-orthodox Israelis, also known as Haredi Jews, have been working hand-in-hand with conservative Muslim groups, promising to “do whatever it takes, including violence” to stop local organizations from putting on gay pride events in Jerusalem. Such folks believe that while gay-sponsored events are bad enough in Tel Aviv and elsewhere, they are an intolerable affront in the Holy City of Jerusalem. Two years ago, when local gays marched through a secular neighborhood in that city, an ultra-orthodox man ran into the crowd with a knife and stabbed three participants, severely injuring one of them. Last year, after plans for another gay pride march were made public, thousands of Haredi Jews started violent riots, blocked the streets, and threw bricks at cars, injuring dozens of police officers, journalists, and bystanders. Last year’s parade was cancelled out of fear of more violence. How about arresting the Jewish leaders who were inciting the violence? As far as I’m concerned, the Jewish rebbes who are spewing their message of hate are no different from the teachers in the fundamentalist madrasas who are regularly spreading their anti-American, anti-Semitic, violence-filled bile.
Look, I’m not so naïve that I expect Israel’s ultra-orthodox rabbis to don rainbow tallit and start performing same-sex marriages under their chuppahs any time soon. I get that most of these leaders believe that homosexuality is prohibited by their interpretation of Divine Law. An excellent documentary called “Trembling Before G-d” was released several years ago that details the painful dilemma faced by Hasidic and orthodox gays who feel passionately about their religion but risk expulsion by their families and communities if they dare to come out. But as much as I personally wish that rabbis everywhere would accept their gay members, there’s an enormous difference between having different beliefs about certain lifestyles and actively trying to destroy people because of these differences.
As this year’s pride activities loomed, religious groups in Israel banded together under an umbrella group that called itself The Committee to Stop the Abomination Parade. They put up posters in Jerusalem encouraging citizens to do “practically anything” to stop the event. “In general, I’m against violence,” said a 26-year-old ultra-orthodox resident of Mea Shearim, one of Jerusalem’s most religious neighborhoods, “but I know people are very angry, they don’t want this social disease to have a bad influence on their children. We don't trust the Knesset or any other part of the secular state on this issue. We can only trust ourselves. This terrible promiscuity must be stopped.”
To be fair, the rabid extremists on this issue are still a minority, but an increasingly strong one as right-wing religious parties continue to gain seats in the Israeli parliament. Many straight Israelis have started attending the gay pride events as a show of support for their fellow citizens and for the future of democracy in Israel. “I think that it was quite clear that the main issue is not gay and lesbian rights in Israel,” said Rabbi Gilad Kariv, associate director of the Israel Religious Action Center. “From a very early point in the battle, it was about democracy, human rights, and the character of our society.”
Last Thursday, hours before this year’s parade in Jerusalem, a 32-year-old ultra-orthodox man was arrested carrying a homemade explosive device he planned to plant along the parade route. I don’t know what happened to this guy but I find myself hoping he was treated in exactly the same way an Arab man found with a bomb in Israel would be. While gays and other supporters marched through the streets surrounded by police, Haredi Jews held a counter-demonstration, burning tires and chanting psalms. They managed to stop traffic at the main entrance to Jerusalem with their fires and “Shame” banners. 19 of the men were arrested, and one broke through the police barricades shouting “Filth! Get out of Jerusalem!” before being escorted away. It is these protesters, particularly the violent ones, who are bringing shame to their country and their people.
Our beloved rabbi, Lisa Edwards, her partner, Tracy Moore, and other members of BCC, the oldest LGBT temple in the world, recently traveled to Israel as a group (photo at left courtesy of BCC member Sylvia Sukop). I can’t bear the thought of these wonderful people and deeply spiritual Jews being taunted by those ignorant ultra-orthodox idiots. I have learned more about Judaism and have come to love it more as a result of my family’s experience at BCC than I ever did in the orthodox synagogues of my childhood. Rabbi Lisa could go head-to-head on any Talmudic issue with the entire Haredi rabbinate if only they could refrain from dismissing her because she is a woman and a lesbian. And I bet Lisa would even talk to these people without calling them “idiots.” I realize how judgmental I'm being of certain branches of Judaism but their calls for violence are sending me over the edge.
I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m trashing the entire orthodox community with this rant, that’s the last thing I would ever do. I know many orthodox Jews, including members of my own family, for whom I have the utmost respect and admiration despite any differences we may have about religious or social issues. I love Jews of all stripes, and I admit I am attracted to many facets of the orthodox lifestyle, as evidenced by my recent trip to Brooklyn where I gazed longingly at the Hasidic hordes. But the kind of virulent protesters I’m talking about, the ones who expend so much energy preaching hate and intolerance, these people I have no love for.
They are bad for the Jews.
I agree; I feel similarly about the angry homophobic Christians (they make us look bad) and also the angry homophobic African-Americans (they make us look ignorant), who are doing more damage, I think, because the African-American LBGT community could use a little more social support. It's a conflict; I love "my people" with all my heart, but there are some who cling to old ideals that don't make sense...
Posted by: Michelle | June 27, 2007 at 12:45 PM
I admire your courage to share in the blogosphere this dirty laundry (my term). I have been working on a post covering the same topic the past few days, and have been passing it to a couple friends for their reviews, edits, and “permissions” to post. Discussing the problems and behaviors you cite is painful.
I know a bit about Israel’s LGBT community issues and achievements in the context of zealous rule by orthodox and ultra-orthodox rabbis and parliamentary parties. By invitation of a Jerusalem friend, a gay man, I participated in their organizations’ Tu B'Shvat plantings, Shabbat services, a celebration when the Israel Supreme Court ruled that a lesbian couple could legally adopt each other's children, and other events.
Jerusalem, too, has a thriving orthodox and ultra-orthodox LGBT population, not all of them out, of course! Many of these folks I met in the events I listed. Others I met, mostly at Jerusalem’s Open House, include LGBT Arab-Israelis, foreign workers, and tourists. (Non sequitur: I recommend seeing “Paper Dolls / Bubot Niyar,” a film related to this topic.)
On the charming act of unity between ultra-orthodox rabbis and Muslim clerical leaders, I want to include the Pope who pontificated on the "abomination" of the march, the marchers, and more.
Like all groups, the ultra orthodox community seeks homogeneity in members’ thought, dress, reading material, décor, interests, and so on. As you know, passing judgment on others, including other Jews, goes beyond judging-condemning their sexual orientation (when it is not straight).
An example: recently my first cousin, who lives in Jerusalem with her husband and most of her 13 kids (two are married, three learn in yeshivot) refused my invitation to join my other cousins on a professionally guided tour of Tel Aviv that I organized. The reason? She couldn’t expose her children to people in that city because they dress “immodestly.”
Relentlessly resisting the intolerance and its perpetrators is required. So is practicing the truths of democracy and human rights in our daily lives. Thanks to the courage your post gave me, I’ve given myself until Shabbat to procrastinate on posting mine;-)
P.S. I went to your synagogue's web site and was delighted to read about this wonderful community. Check out Congregation Bet Haverim in Atlanta, similarly founded, populated, and bustling!
Posted by: tamar | June 27, 2007 at 05:59 PM
What a well written post. I was raised Catholic, but my mother also taught me to question everything. I questioned myself right out of any kind of organized religion. I know that it works really well for some people and I'm glad it's there for them. I just can't get past the dogma that condemns homosexuality among many other things.
Posted by: churlita | June 27, 2007 at 07:44 PM
Wonderful post, Danny--so lucid and, minor rants aside, tolerant. (Hey, none of us can Be the Change all at once.)
Like churlita, I was raised Catholic but (oddly, b/c most Catholics aren't into this) taught to do my own research and come to my own conclusion.
That conclusion was that my beloved, agnostic, Jewish gramma was more Christ-like than any Christian I ever met. Once I got some perspective (age has its uses, huh?) I realized that the only Way I"m interested in is tolerance. And let's just say that I have a long way to go in that department, since I still blow my f**king stack when I read stories like this.
What did I say before? Oh, yeah: Be the Change.
Sigh...
Posted by: Colleen Wainwright | June 28, 2007 at 09:29 AM
oh my my my...I just found you, tracked you down from the trail of crumbs you left on my blog-and I wanna say: were we separated at birth????????
Posted by: By Jane | June 28, 2007 at 05:30 PM
Danny,
Great post. There's so much here I can't begin.
Posted by: Not Fainthearted | June 29, 2007 at 07:51 AM
As usual, Danny, a great post. I am extremely wary of any type of orthodoxy. Like a number of your commenters, I believe in being tolerant, but one thing of which I am intolerant is intolerance. Does it make sense?
Posted by: Elisabeth | June 29, 2007 at 08:36 AM
Great! Intolerance based on hate, in any form, is bad for everybody. Tell me about it, I live in the Southeastern US. There are wonderful people here, but we definitely get the intolerance backed by religion P.O.V. thrown in the mix. The most shocking is when it comes out of the mouths of the "sweet" little old ladies.
Posted by: Ian | June 29, 2007 at 09:11 AM
What a good post. I think, despite a lot of evidence around of intolerance there is a growing intolerance of intolerance. I see it more and more among young people and at the grassroots level.
And Jewish people do have a wonderful historical tradition of working to make the world more just. This makes me very proud of our family's tiny bit of Jewish heritage--mixed in with the snobby slack (but well-meaning)Episcopal tradition.
Posted by: linser | June 29, 2007 at 06:16 PM
Hi there,
I just happened upon your blogs by mistake - I was actually trying to find out what happened to Ed Gagliardi (Ex Member of Foreigner. Heard he played with a band called 'Garbo Talks' and this lead me to your site! I used to love Foreigner, heard they were touring again and wondered if he would be re-uniting with them. Seems to have just disappeared into the ether ... pity. He was by far the cutest member of the band! So, if anyone knows anything about Ed... Please post something to let me know what he does now. Curiosity!). Anyway, just had to say, I found your blogs on Israel and the differing Jewish Religious and political spectrum interesting to a non-jew. I always was confused by the Orthodox violence and denial of Jesus as a Jew, etc. I suppose every religion has it's extremists and zealots. There are still many things I don't get about the Jewish Religion and politics (especially that concerning Israel and Palestine - but then, I don't think anyway understands this whole crazy scenario). Thoughts for the day 'Religion and Politics never mix', and, 'Empathy, acceptance & Diplomacy = Peace'.
Posted by: Tracy | June 30, 2007 at 06:57 AM
When I researched parental acceptance of gays and lesbians, I asked my rabbi (black hat, beard, a tzadik and a genius) what the hat opinion was on homosexuality. "What are the issues in the holy land?" I asked.
He said that THE THINKING IN ISRAEL (this was 2000-2001) was that gay men were exempt from the mitzvot of marrying and having children. There was definitely an understanding that this was not something they could or should do, and the sentiment was not of hate, rather pity.
So maybe it's the pride thing that the rabbis aren't ready for. The hate mongers aren't the top thinkers in Israel, that's for sure.
Posted by: therapydoc | July 02, 2007 at 08:01 PM
I live in Boston, where we have an organization called Keshet, for gay/lesbian/bi/etc. Jews. I am happy to see this post.
Posted by: Rhea | July 09, 2007 at 09:46 AM
Good post. The ultra-Orthodox are a minority in Israel, though. A vocal one (on some issues more than others) but still a minority. I'm a British olah in Tel Aviv - I'm not gay so I don't know the scene too well but I see gay and lesbian couples openly out on the streets here all the time, I've seen a large international gay, lesbian and transgender festival here (not connected with Pride) and just like in London, lots of straight people turned up to Pride because it's, well, a good day out.
The problem in Israel is, IMO, about the lack of pluralism within Judaism. I come from a UK Reform background (my Rabbi was openly gay now I come to think of it) and it's been hard to find a shul in Israel - people here are either "religious" i.e. "Haredi" or "secular". What about the rest of us?! More action and encouragement needed to support the Reform and Masorti movements here is needed. Pluralism helps breed tolerance.
Posted by: Yaeli | July 11, 2007 at 04:18 AM
I just read your blog, and thought I might share my response to an e-mail I received regarding last year's parade. The original e-mail is at the bottom.
BTW, the cousin to whom I refer is herself ultra-Orthodox, and was planning on marching in the parade with her gay brother. No one in her community could know, of course.
SL
Subject: RE: Women, Urgent Plea ofTehillim !!
Dear Anita,
I know that you are a friend of my cousin, and that she has tremendous admiration for you, but I must respectfully ask that you remove my name from your mailing list. I resent being asked to use my faith to further hatred and intolerance. The Judaism I believe in might well interpret your request as the abomination.
Shabbat Shalom,
Sheila
Urgent Plea to all Women of Israel!
Women around the world will be reciting Psalms during the next two days starting Friday through Shabbos for the Admor m'Gur (Gerer Rebbe)Rabbi Yakov (Yankel) Aryeh Alter, shlita,Our intention is to pray to Hashem for Him to bestow upon Rabbi Yakov (Yankel) Aryeh Alter, shlita the valiant courage & leadership needed to successfully guide us with strength to stop the Homosexual Abomination Festival planned to take place this summer (August) in our Holy City of Jerusalem.
The Rebbe has a big following to AND MUST STOP the obscene parade of perversion & abomination, scheduled for our Holy City!!
Women worldwide are asked to recite appropriate Psalms for him and to
preserve the continued sanctity of our Holy City which is being threatened by this upcoming travesty.
Please send this to all the caring women you know.
May Hashem bless His people with Peace.
Because of righteous women we were redeemed from Egypt & because of
righteous women we will once again be redeemed!!!
Posted by: Sheila Linderman | July 15, 2007 at 01:54 PM
Yep. Love is more powerful than hate.
Posted by: neil fleischmann | August 28, 2007 at 01:25 PM
I feel the same way about fundamentalist Christian attitudes towards the gays in this country. All the trivial controversy over gay marriage, for example. Who cares? Aren't there greater problems in the world that we ought to be focusing on? Not that I think that gays are a problem at all. What is threatening about them? They are as dangerous as a puppet show at a street market! Just walk away, people, if you don't like the show. Frankly, I find it a refreshing break from "normalcy".
Sadly, it is our leader, living under the rule of separation of church and state, that is advocating this segregation. And, as a Christian-born American, it baffles me and angers me that we allowed him to stay in office for another term. What does that say about the majority of our nation? Is our country really so full of narrow-minded, eye-for-an-eye Christians? What happened to "Judge not lest ye be judged"?
Ok, I'd better not get going on this or I'll never stop!
There ought to be better laws put in place in Israel tho, to protect the gays. They may have their faults but they are no more sinful than any other human being who walks this earth.
Posted by: Rebekah | October 27, 2007 at 06:49 PM
Thank you for a beautifully written post. It was just what I needed to read today.
Posted by: Diane J Standiford | June 24, 2012 at 08:59 AM