Spring Awakening

Just have a moment to say that I’m moving to Brooklyn and becoming a Chasid so, bye everyone.

Okay…I guess I’m not really ready to make that lifestyle change—the first time the rebbe told me that I couldn’t blog on Shabbos, I’d be out of there. But it was amazing wandering around the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn yesterday where our friends Ellen and Greg live and seeing the huge Chasidic community in action. I think they are Satmars although I believe the Lubavitchers are also headquartered there. In all my trips to New York, I had never stepped foot in Brooklyn and it’s my new favorite place. It’s got everything I could ever want: great food, amazing old architecture, close proximity to Manhattan, and Jews-a-plenty. Amazing to see the Yiddish language and culture flourishing every bit as much as it was in pre-war Poland. And watching the hordes of children (if a Chasidic couple has six kids, it’s probably considered a small family) wandering the streets, I am struck again by how much I’m attracted to their insulated lives that are so family and community-based. Whenever I’m around such groups, I always have the wistful feeling that their lives have so much more order and meaning than mine does, but I guess it’s that familiar dichotomy I’m always struggling with: I desperately want to belong to a group but the minute I feel part of one I want to rebel and break away.

What am I even doing in New York, contemplating my conversion to Chasidism? It was a completely unplanned trip. I had to drop everything and fly to New York on a moment’s notice Thursday morning because Leah was finishing her east coast school trip and then was flying out to Paris (alone) from JFK that night to meet her mom who is already there. The woman who was going to be in New York and take care of Leah got a severe bronchial infection and couldn’t fly so I jumped on the next JetBlue flight and headed east. Not that I’m complaining. It was a blast surprising Leah and all her classmates by suddenly appearing at the Broadway play they were about to see (“Tarzan”—oy, don’t ask, the worst score I ever heard but some excellent gymnastics, the cast had to sing a lot of songs bouncing upside down on bungee cords). Then Leah and I got to spend a day together in Manhattan before her plane left. Great fun and I could suddenly imagine us as real New Yorkers with Leah taking the subway to some artsy school every day and me attending weekly lectures at the 92nd Street Y and finding all sorts of activities for Kendall, Leah, and me to do when we weren’t busy stuffing our faces with New York delicacies. Oy, in the 24 hours I was with Leah we gorged on the best pastrami I’ve ever had, Payard pastries, pretzels from the street, Yonah Schimmel knishes, and Serendipity frozen hot chocolate. Then I went to Brooklyn straight from the airport and began my pilgrimage with my Chasidic brethren.

Despite my near-conversion to ultra-orthodoxy, I still managed to squeeze in two plays yesterday (on the Jewish Sabbath—oops!). I saw a refreshingly unique and beautifully done new musical called “Spring Awakening” that is about a group of adolescents in a repressive community in 19th century Germany who are exploring their burgeoning sexuality and the barriers placed on their intellectual freedom. Based on the 1891 play by Frank Wedekind, this version had an excellent rock score sung by talented young actors and it didn't bother me a bit when the performers pulled hand mikes out of their period costumes. The show would have been such a richer experience for Leah’s sixth grade class than the puerile Disney fare, but perhaps the simulated teen sex on stage would have sent the teachers, if not the students, over the edge. And if the kids went back home and started singing some of the catchy songs to their parents, with titles such as “The Bitch of Living” and “Totally Fucked,” I'm not sure the school could have weathered the outrage.

Last night I finally saw “Grey Gardens,” the play I’ve been obsessed with for months. Christine Ebersole was absolutely brilliant in the double role of “Big Edie” Beale (in the first act’s extended 1941 flashback) and her daughter “Little Edie” (in the second act, taking place in 1973). It’s fascinating to me that most people prefer the second act when we see the down-on-their-luck older Beales similar to how they appear in the famous documentary about them that was made in the mid-1970s. Am I the only one who vastly prefers the first act of the play? I wanted to stay in that world where everyone was still young, rich, and pretty, and where they could still pretend that severe mental illness and family dysfunction were not destroying their lives. Is it wrong that I sometimes prefer living in the fantasy of the past instead of the harsh reality of the present?

Our current reality seems pretty harsh—Kendall’s beloved Uncle Thomas is extremely ill and was just moved back to her mom’s house. He’s on hospice care now and is not doing well at all. I’ve been thinking of all the stories, many in Kendall’s book, of her family traipsing around New York as her parents’ various plays were being mounted, with crazy wheelchair-bound Uncle Thomas leading the pack. I hate being stuck here in Act 2 where we learn how everything turns out. Can’t we go back to Act 1 for just a little while?

Comments

[Bob C.]

Hi, Danny --

Once again, I enjoyed taking a trip with you --- this time to Brooklyn's Williamsburg.As a point of information, while the Satmars do indeed headquarter there, the Lubavichers work out of Flatbush, also in Brooklyn.

The time to visit Williamsburg is on Simchat-Torah, right after the High Holidays when Jews celebrate the end of the yearly cycle of Torah readings. There is singing and dancing as Torah scrolls are trriumphantly carried through the streets. In the dozzens of little "stiblach" (study rooms), bearded, hatted men are doing circle dances as they pass the scroll along. They are often a bit tipsy. Simchat-Torah is one of two holidays when it is a "mitzvah" to get a bit drunk. (Purim is the other).

I always went to Williamsburg for that holiday.when I lived in New York. However, while I enjoyed the Satmar folkways as an observer, unlike you I never had the urge to sign a membership card. I always remembered that the Satmar can surpass the most rigid evangelicals in narrowness and intolerance.

Bob C.

[churlita]

I've always wanted to go to NY. Brooklyn sounds amazing. There is a Chasidic community in a small town here in Iowa. I think my daughter and I are going to try and drive up to that town this summer.

[Gregory Gartland]

Danny come back soon! You know we have enough room now. No excuses.

[david]

Danny:

Think Satmar. You'd look fearsome in a shtreimel.

If Leah were a little younger, she could star in the movie version of "Eloise".

[Cheryl]

I was born in Brooklyn, and my parents grew up in the projects there. We moved to MD when I was 2, but I have so many memories of our childhood trips visiting family. My Grandma lived in Williamsburg. I hear gentrification is in full swing there these days. I married a Catholic who's family lives in Brooklyn. I was surprised...I thought only Jews lived there! My favorite thing to do was drive around and observe the Chasidic community. Your descriptive words were perfect.

[Wendy]

Danny - I don't know whether the Chasidim in Williamsburg are anything like the ultra ultra orthodox in Israel but just in case they are you might want to check out the 1999 Israeli film "Kadosh". It is a beautifully poetic but devastating account of how women are viewed by fundamentalist Jews.

[Emily]

Okay, so why are you ALWAYS in New York when I'm somewhere else? (Love your first line!)

[Scott Goldberg]

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The Leonard Lopate Show airs at 12PM on 93.9FM, AM820, and www.wnyc.org.

[Vicki Forman]

Oh Danny, Leah looks SO grown up. Off to Paris, indeed. Wow.

[Kitty]

What a great trip! I've never been to Brooklyn either, even though as an Irish Catholic girl I've always thought of it as the home of Francie Nolan in "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn."

And I remember Kendall's Uncle Thomas very well from her wonderful book. So sad to hear he's not well. Sending good thoughts his/her way...

[therapydoc]

no question, you're right. THE hardest thing for some of us about being orthobloggers is not blogging on Shabbes. And what's worse, say you blog in your head, only to write it as soon as the sun is officially down, you're STILL in trouble because that, apparently, is work.

but maybe not having any advertisements on a blog might make everything okay.

for what google pays, honestly, it's worth thinking about

[Tamar]

Well, fun to read. My ultra orthodox cousin (ma of 13) came to mind immediately as I recalled her turning down my invite to a family tour I hosted of Tel Aviv because "people there are immodest." I gagged my reply, that in the holy city of Jerusalem, her home, her tribe and others of all three monotheistic faiths stone, threaten, stalk, even stab LGBT folks and their allies. The beauty we see in isolation is not always supported in context. Ah, as you dream of Act 1, I, too, often long for innocence of ignorance. Yet I am always grateful to be awakened to the joy of being in this multicolored world where each of us is responsible for repairing the broken parts. Thanks for your outstanding blog of essays! And happy Pesach!

[Pearl]

"...Whenever I’m around such groups, I always have the wistful feeling that their lives have so much more order and meaning than mine does, but I guess it’s that familiar dichotomy I’m always struggling with: I desperately want to belong to a group but the minute I feel part of one I want to rebel and break away."

Danny, how very honest -- and you're not alone in your thinking!

Oh ya, I could picture you in a shtreimel, but I'm not too sure about the payes (sidelocks)... :)

[Jazz]

I live in Montreal, smack in the middle of where pretty much the whole Chasidic community lives. I find their lifestyle fascinating, though I wouldn't want to share it.

[librarygirl]

Have you ever seen the Australian documentary film called "Welcome to the Wax family?" - chasidic family with 17 children.
Made in about 2003 - see it if you haven't, you will love it.

[V-Grrrl]

Danny, I like to think we're in Act II of a three-act play. This is the meaty part of life!

As a woman, I've never been attracted to insulated, orthdox sects of any variety. It is so charming to visit Amish country in Pennsylvania, but if you were Amish, Leah's formal education would be completed next year and then it's just life in the kitchen, sewing room, and on the farm.

[librarygirl]

Sorry Danny, film title I wrote about earlier should be "Welcome to the WAKS family", not Wax!