Yesterday was the 21st anniversary of the Challenger disaster. How is it possible that a whole generation has passed since the cold January morning when those seven astronauts died 73 seconds after the space shuttle rose so beautifully into the Florida sky? I wrote about the tragedy on the Huffington Post yesterday but I was mostly remembering one victim of that awful day, the smiling high school teacher who was supposed to be the first civilian to slip the surly bonds of Earth. Christa McAuliffe stood in for all of us baby boomers who spent our Mercury/Gemini/ Apollo-obsessed childhoods fantasizing about traveling into the vast and hopeful frontiers of outer space. While writing that post, I realized that had Christa McAuliffe not been part of that mission, I would have probably been closely following the other woman on board the Challenger, astronaut Judith Resnik.
Judy Resnik hated being referred to as the “first Jewish astronaut” but that’s how every Jewish family in America knew her. While Soviet cosmonaut Boris Volynov was the first Jew in space (he flew two Soyuz missions in the late 60s), Ohio-born Resnik was the first American Jew to leave the Earth’s atmosphere (as long as you don’t count William Shatner or Leonard Nimoy or the chasidic characters in Mel Brooks' 1981 “Jews in Space” parody). She had a PhD in electrical engineering and unlike many astronauts, did not grow up dreaming of joining the space program. Resnik decided to apply to NASA on a lark in the late 70s. At that time there were only white male astronauts but, under pressure from women’s groups and affirmative action campaigns, NASA had finally decided to recruit women and minorities who had “the right stuff.”
Out of over 1,000 women who applied to be part of the space program, Resnik was shocked when she became one of the six women who were selected. Sally Ride, a native of southern California, became the first American woman to travel into space on June 18, 1983, on one of Challenger's first missions. The following year, Judy Resnik became the second woman in space on the maiden voyage of the Discovery orbiter, logging in 144 hours and 57 minutes outside of the Earth’s atmosphere. Resnik and Sally Ride had both worked on the development of the robotic arm that Judy operated on Discovery.
By all accounts, the woman who was the only girl in her high school class to get a perfect score on her SATs was a serious but fun-loving astronaut, an incredibly hard worker, and a loyal friend. What I remember most about her first mission is how her huge mane of hair reacted to the weightless environment inside the shuttle. The other astronauts had great respect for Resnik, even the ones who said that they had some reservations about women joining the space program. “Judy Resnik and the other women at NASA really opened my eyes,” one of the older guard astronauts admitted. “They had dreams and ambitions and were just as good as any male astronaut. Judy was certainly an example of a woman who was very competent. I trusted her with my life and would do it again if she were here.” Judy recognized the inherent dangers in space travel but insisted that the risks were well worth the gains. “I think something is only dangerous if you are not prepared for it,” Resnik said after her first mission, “or if you don't have control over it, or if you can't think through how to get yourself out of the problem.”
Peggy Gawiser Shecket was a childhood friend of Judy’s who was invited to Florida in January 1986 to watch the launch of Judy’s second mission in space as part of the Challenger crew.
I had never seen a launch in person and didn’t suspect a problem as I took continual photos. There was a frightening pause in the audio commentary, however, before we heard that there was a “malfunction.” My husband knew. It would take me much longer to get it. It is a bizarre feeling to plunge from the jubilation at count-down and launch to intense worry. In shock, I fell silent. Immediately we left for the airport. Riding backward, I looked at the continually falling debris, certain that one of the specks was the crew cabin, falling gently suspended by parachutes to bob on the water until rescue people arrived.
On the plane, I sat next to a photojournalist who was creating a book on the shuttle. He told me, clearly, that there was no way the crew could have survived. Shocked enough to not speak to my children, I arrived home. That evening friends and relatives called. I said I could not talk and hung up. Finally at the boys’ bedtime, I was able to tell the 3- and 6-year-olds that we had seen a very bad accident. The next day the rabbi called to express his sympathy and concern. When the rabbi calls to say he is sorry, the person has really died. Quiet shock turned to sobs.
The boys and I began to have nightmares. In theirs, there were explosions and fire. In some of mine, Judy was well, living in Europe; she revealed that the whole thing had been a joke. My son asked me how to make the dreams stop. I told him we would have the dreams until we didn’t need to have them anymore. And eventually, we didn’t. Right before Judy’s funeral was to begin, the temple shook with an earthquake. I pictured telling Judy that I had truly “felt the earth move,” and we would have giggled. Time passes. Life has changed. I imagine that if the flight had gone as planned, Judy and I would have peaceful, easy times to share at this stage of our lives. I think we’d exchange frequent e-mail and I’d send digital photos of my wonderful adult sons. Perhaps we’d still share secrets. I would tell her what a wonderful role model and pioneer she has been for our young women and thank her for including me in her life, adding excitement to mine. I miss her still.
Judy Resnik didn’t want to be defined as the first Jewish astronaut or the second American woman in space but I believe those milestones are an important gateway to breaking down boundaries in our society and changing the way that people think about women and minorities.
I remember listening to Halle Berry’s speech at the 2002 Oscars when she became the first African-American to win the Best Actress award. At the time I thought her words were a bit over the top: “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. This moment is so much bigger than me…it's for every nameless, faceless woman of color that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened.” In retrospect, I think Berry was dead-on. We need to go through the shock of those “firsts” before such things start to seem normal. Have you noticed that in almost everyone’s Oscar predictions this year (including my own), three of the four top acting prizes are slated for African-Americans and that fact is barely mentioned? That is a far cry from the hysteria that ensued when Hattie McDaniel, Sidney Poitier, and even Halle Berry won their awards.
The boundaries have been broached in many areas but some foundation-rocking firsts are yet to come. Many people still have a hard time imagining a Jewish person, a woman, or an African-American as President of the United States. When these milestones occur (and I’m positive all three of them will during my lifetime, possibly starting in 2008), they will cease to seem like such a big deal and soon people will wonder what all the fuss was about.
Judy Resnik grew up in a Jewish community, went to Hebrew School, and celebrated her Bat Mitzvah. As an adult, she was not observant. Ilan Ramon was the first Israeli astronaut on a space shuttle crew and he was much more religious. Ramon was the first astronaut to require kosher space meals (NASA complied) and he had to consult with several rabbis to determine how to observe the Sabbath. “If a Jewish astronaut is circling the Earth every ninety minutes,” he wondered, “should he pray the Morning Service every ninety minutes--with the Afternoon and Evening Services on ninety-minute rotations as well? And if a ‘day’ for an orbiting astronaut is ninety minutes long, rather than twenty-four hours long, should he observe Shabbat after six orbits--that is, every nine hours--for ninety minutes at a time?” These questions were debated and discussed and guidelines were drawn up for religious Jews orbiting the Earth. In the end, Ramon did not have to engage in multiple prayer sessions based on the shuttle’s position because the rabbis determined he was not really subject to “Earth time.”
Tragically, Ilan Ramon, like Judy Resnik, was part of a catastrophic disaster in the space shuttle program. Although he was able to participate in his groundbreaking mission in January 2003, he died with the six other crew members (including female astronauts Laurel Clark and Kalpana Chalwa) when the Columbia orbiter broke apart during reentry into the atmosphere over Texas on its way to Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Some anti-Semitic lunatics tried to draw connections between the Challenger and the Columbia tragedies claiming that their destruction was part of God’s wrath and directly related to the presence of the Jewish astronauts on board. Of course there are now several other Jewish astronauts in the Space Shuttle program who have flown without incident, as Judy Resnik herself did in 1984.
Today I am thinking of Judy Resnik’s smiling face as she boarded the Challenger full of hope and excitement. Judy’s close friend Robert Stevens, a NASA contractor, wrote about her on the 20th anniversary of the Challenger explosion.
The last words she said was the night before on the Astronaut telephone links to families where she was sequestered, “see ya in a week, green eyes,” a moniker for me in that she always loved my green eyes so she said.
I saw her last as she came out of the astro lodge and into the astrovan on her way to the pad and her ship. I shouted to her. She shouted back for which I did not hear, and blew me a kiss.
The fireball erupted at 73 seconds. A thing both fascinating and frightening, a cancer-colored nightmare unfolding in the dark cobalt skies above the world’s first true spaceport. It was failing before my eyes, before the nation’s, before the people of the world. The sum total of our achievement, now spiraling in a tendril of uncommon fiery arcs, surging back toward the ocean surface, now 7 miles below the disintegrating craft. My mouth began to open as did everyone else’s. All forward motion had ceased. The vehicle was gone now.
We do not see death like this among loved ones. Generally it is a knock on the door in the night. We are informed that uncle Jack or whomever has plowed into a light pole, or a heart attack stopped him. We are not used to seeing a loved one right on the cusp of the grandest adventure of all time, soaring in complete personal, professional, national triumph, on the world’s first true space ship, right at the height of utter triumph. Then vanish. One second, triumph. The next second, literally disappear in a orange fog of searing terror. A fireball. Seared into the brain forever. The great ship was dead and gone and was falling delicately in pieces back down to Earth's second largest ocean.
For months and even into the second year, I cried for Judy, for NASA, for everyone in our wonderful country, and for me. I wanted Judy back. I wanted Challenger to not fall down. The gulf of years quickly fall behind me now as I entrain forward in life between me and this thing. But every January 28th, at 11:37 AM, I pause for just a moment. The pain and terror, oddly, are the same, for just a moment, but her face is cloudy now as I remember it. I remember the fireball, but I can't remember exactly the lines of her face or her soft watery dark eyes. Perhaps tears make the view blurry in memory as I stare back across such dark gulfs in time.
Every year, I pause for just a moment. In those moments the crushing sadness is very great. And I never wanted to miss a thing. It was a grand time. It was a time of being invincible. For 73 seconds, whether she knew it or not, wanted to or not, she was on the edge of a still very raw technology, hanging her hide along with 6 others right out over the Yawning Red Maw. For 73 seconds, she was a pioneer, an explorer, an astronaut. A very fine woman. She was there in that thing, that beautiful space ship, surging ahead in that Ahura Mazda Surge that few of us ever will know or feel in this lifetime, moving vertically at 4900 feet per second. Surging at 3600 miles per hour, going up, ship screaming with all motors running nominal. Triumph at full bore acceleration. Rising up with all engines running at 104%. Right at, “Challenger, Go For Throttle Up.” And then she went away.
That was a beautiful tribute to this impressive woman who died way too young. I was surprised to learn that the disaster occurred 21 years ago. It certainly was one of those events, like Watergate and 9/11, that shaped a generation.
Posted by: Neil | January 30, 2007 at 12:41 AM
A lovely and deeply felt post Danny. Very profound on so very many levels...Beautiful and touching. Thank you for reminding us all of these moments in time that are seared into our minds and hearts...
Posted by: OldOldLady Of The Hills | January 30, 2007 at 12:44 AM
Wow. Your writing constantly floors me. I forgot that it was the anniversary. I hope you don't mind, but I may have to write a post about my experience with it. I'll attribute, of course. Weird that the Bears were in the Super Bowl that year too.
Posted by: churlita | January 30, 2007 at 07:55 PM
Incredible piece.
My husband graduated from Virginia Military Institute as did Christa McAuliffe's husband. It's a small Southern military academy with big traditions, including several that revolve around the class ring. Each class' ring is unique, designed just for that year's class. Christa was carrying her husband's ring into space when she boarded Challenger. After her death, her husband's former classmates at VMI raised money to have an exact replica of the original made for him.
Posted by: V-Grrrl | January 31, 2007 at 04:48 AM
This is one great post...I too had forgotten the anniversary but I remembered reading your post that I was pregnant with my daughter, sitting at the edge of my bed watching the take off, and the subsequent fireball, and the debri...how sad. All these years later, still sadness...what might have been learned from that, we'll never experience.
Posted by: Judy Frank | January 31, 2007 at 08:30 AM
Wonderful tribute!
I can still remember the moment I learned of the disaster. I had only been teaching a few years, and one of my colleagues saw me in the hall at school and asked, "Aren't you glad you're not the first teacher in space?" Puzzled I asked why, and she told me that the shuttle had just exploded. My first thought was, "Those poor families!" I'll never forget that moment.
Posted by: Mindy | January 31, 2007 at 06:44 PM
I loved this post, Danny. Brought me back.
Posted by: Linda Freedman | February 02, 2007 at 04:13 AM
A really moving, beautifully written post, Danny. I remember the Challenger disaster as a frozen moment, like the news of JFK's assassination (one of my earliest memories). This brings back the crushing disappointment, which only followed hours of denial: perhaps...?
Posted by: david | February 02, 2007 at 09:28 AM
This was a great tribute. I really admire your writing. I always learn something new from you. I hope it's OK that I put a link to you on my blog.
Posted by: Cheryl | February 03, 2007 at 01:05 PM
Danny: Thanks for this remembrance. In 1986, we were beginning to take space flight for granted. I was listening on the radio - and I believe some of the networks had already stopped airing the lift-offs - when Challenger exploded.
At the time, I was working as an aide in local politics and lucky enough to meet some very charismatic and important people. But, no one inspired me more than Ron Nash when he spoke at a dinner for minority science students at Cal State University, Northridge. He told us about his experiments, and what he expected to see in space. Then, he said something that might sound corny as I write it here. He said that each person in the room that night could become an astronaut, or a scientist, or whatever it is that they dreamed of becoming, with drive and education. Coming from Dr. Nash, however, these words held a sense of integrity and destiny.
Thanks again for remembering Judy Resnick. NASA and the US space program were never the same after Challenger. But, the people on board live on as heroes.
Posted by: Alan Schiff | February 04, 2007 at 05:43 PM
Thank you for this lovely post and for remembering Judy. I miss her lots!
Posted by: Peggy Gawiser Shecket | February 06, 2007 at 02:01 PM
Judy Resnik (spelled without the c) was my cousin. I had just moved to New Zealand a month before the Challenger explosion. We were supposed to rendezvous the previous Thanksgiving in Southern California before my family and I headed to New Zealand, but as usual, her other commitments took precedence and we didn't meet. We had a long phone conversation though, and I knew she was due to fly on the Challenger in late January. Because of the time difference, I awoke on the morning of 29 January 1986 to hear of the Challenger explosion on the morning news. I was in shock. I phoned the local radio station to get a list of the astronauts on board the Challenger, hoping against hope that for some reason, Judy wasn't on it. Sadly, this was not the case.
I have remembered every anniversary of the Challenger explosion and think of Judy. I still miss her. She was brilliant and beautiful, with a great sense of humor. I hope what she achieved in her short life serves to inspire others to take on great challenges and accomplish great things in their lives.
Posted by: Lauren Maser | February 10, 2007 at 03:31 PM
I remember Judy and the crew like yeasterday. hard to believe it's been 21 years. Judy'Ron'El'Christa'Greg'Dick and mike,were some of anerica's best. and im so happy that they are being remembered. may they rest in peace.
Posted by: John Snow | March 04, 2007 at 09:43 PM
I'm sorry to be posting on your forum. I would like to contact someone who knew Judy and her family personally about a dream I had the day the Challenger blew up. Please contact me: [email protected].
Sincerely,
Suzanne Romey
Posted by: Suzanne Romey | August 09, 2007 at 11:02 AM
A fine and touching tribute. A nephew is on track to become an astronaut one day. His grandmother does not like the idea at all. I repeated what Ronald Reagan said in his address about the Challenger Disaster: "The future is not for the faint of heart." Ms. Resnik proved that throughout her amazing life.
Posted by: Bart | August 10, 2007 at 10:19 AM
That was an unbelievably moving tribute and beautifully written. I had tears in my eyes the entire time while reading it.
Thank you for sharing your memories and throughts of your friend.
Posted by: Matt Hagen | October 21, 2007 at 01:52 PM
Wow, this post made me want to cry. I was very young when the Challenger mission failed, so I don't remember how the nation reacted. Still, it is very sad, especially to think that something that was supposed to be a happy thing turned tragic so quickly. I can only imagine how the observers felt as they watched what was happening. My heart goes out to Judy Resnick's friends and family, along with the loved ones of all the others who died in the explosion. Thank you for this post. It was very touching.
Posted by: Rebekah | October 27, 2007 at 05:42 AM
Hey Judy
Posted by: NEPSA | November 04, 2007 at 03:47 PM
Im so sorry!
God bless the crew and love to all of you
Posted by: tom rix | March 08, 2008 at 03:17 PM
i love this astronaut shes really pretty
Posted by: hannah | October 08, 2008 at 10:37 AM
i love this girl she rocks
Posted by: amy | October 08, 2008 at 10:52 AM
I want to assure the family that we remember Judy. We remember every day of every year, not just in January and April, and our love and concern goes out to the family and friends of Judy today, as always. With love and great respect. tr
Posted by: tr | April 05, 2009 at 01:09 PM
What a difference and inspiration this has givin to so many people. although i feel bad we all no they made a difference!
Posted by: shan | December 23, 2009 at 07:03 PM
Thank you so very much for this article, I had planned to do a write up myself, as I always commemorate January 28th, still to this day.
She was my childhood hero. I was so amazed by her achievements! And how could one not be? That was one of the worst days of my life, watching my hero....I can't even say it. 73 seconds. "Go with throttle up", "Obviously a major malfunction".
That last one was such a painful understatement. We had a snow day that day, so I was watching live at home. I was in the 5th grade, and to this day I've never, ever been able to do math since 28 January 1986.
Thank you for such a beautiful article, it's so wonderful to know that other people out there were also "wowed" by My Hero Judy (and actually I had never realized that she was Jewish, not that I would have cared had I known).
I am now an adult with two beautiful and very bright children, and I teach them all the time about my hero. I can only hope that they will come close to matching her accomplishments.
Posted by: Lex | February 14, 2010 at 03:55 PM
thats very sad.She looks beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Hannah | March 25, 2010 at 02:43 PM
Thank you for remembering Judy - she was my idol and has been important to me - a young girl ( at that time ) in far away Austria...I will never forget her.....
Posted by: Johanna Scheibenpflug | July 24, 2010 at 02:48 PM
We will remember this young enthusiastic lady. That is unexpected event which is always possible to occur.
I knew a team of student in US. They are working on a project to enhance safety for astronaut in real and testing working environment.
Hope their works will be a great contribution to the world science.
Posted by: William Le | August 22, 2010 at 03:52 PM
Belatedly, thank you for this post. I have only the barest recollections of the Challenger disaster and did not know Judy Resnick at all before your post. What a wonderful woman.
Posted by: Steph/seenonflickr | February 02, 2011 at 10:59 AM
I never met Judith Resnik, but after reading "Riding Rockets" by Mike Mullane. I sure would have liked too. It sounds like she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. RIP Challenger crew.
Posted by: Bill | July 28, 2011 at 09:35 PM
I am reading 'Riding Rockets', everyone should read it btw !
And the bond between Mike and Judith stands out ! Mike is the male chauvinistic pig as produced by a Militairy upbringing but he admires this
female astronaut because she does a great job and has a great sense of humor.
So sad this accident, why was there no adequate escape sytem in the
Shuttle ?
Its now 25 years ago , but the imagines are still in my brain.....
Rest in peace Judith and Crew
rarebear from the Netherlands
Posted by: Dolf Brouwers | November 21, 2011 at 10:28 AM
God Bless You & Keep You Ms.Judy.
Posted by: John L.Livingston | September 29, 2012 at 03:11 PM
Thank you so much for your touching walk down memory lane! I and my now deceased wife, Maria, were VERY good friends with Judy and Mike while they were married and with each after they divorced. Judy and I were EEs at RCA. She was an exceptionally gifted engineer and such a sweet and endearing person. I always felt very close to her as if we had known each other in a former lifetime.
We loved them both so much that we almost moved to Alexandria to be near them after Michael decided to go to law school. I have many fond memories of great times we shared. I miss her so much.
I also always remember the terrible tragedy and think of her often. I look forward to seeing her and all my other loved ones someday!
Posted by: Louis Campolo | January 21, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Judy was very pretty and a wonderful individual she was just as important as the teacher and the other astronauts she accomplished many goals in her short life I hope she knew that she was important too she is with heavenly father now God bless. Suzan
Posted by: suzan cooper | August 07, 2013 at 09:23 PM
Its unfortunate that we don't know what is ahead in life for us if only the astronauts knew what was ahead they would have never boarded the shuttle and they would all be alive today accomplishing things Christa could of seen her children grow up and marry and have children of their own its such a shame. Susan.
Posted by: suzan cooper | August 07, 2013 at 09:32 PM
I was a court reporter in Akron, Ohio, at the time Judy graduated from high school. She typed transcripts in our office for two summers and during some college breaks. She was and still is the most gifted person I have ever met. I'm certainly not surprised with her success in her short life. It is very unfortunate that her life ended so soon.
Posted by: Frank J. Bauer | August 15, 2013 at 07:01 PM
Judy was a beautiful lady and deserves all the praise that she accomplished in her life and she should know that she was loved
Posted by: suzan cooper | November 13, 2013 at 09:22 AM
All the astronauts of challenger were special they all met the same horrible fate they are at peace now and are with heavenly father. Suzan
Posted by: suzan cooper | November 13, 2013 at 09:32 AM
Thank you for posting this. Judy Resnik is my idol and I hope to be like her someday. And I'm glad that she can touch a new generation.
Posted by: Abby McIntosh | May 03, 2015 at 07:28 AM
Astronaut Judy Resnik broke so many glass ceilings in her own quiet way. What a shame!!!!!! The 30th anniversary was observed at Carnegie-Mellon University this past week. I have a photo of Judy as a Campus Queen Candidate at CMU 4/70. Jerry Siskind -- Electrical Engineering classmate at CMU.
Posted by: Jerry Siskind | April 23, 2016 at 02:28 PM