Santa Is Dead, Long Live Santa!

Today is the second anniversary of my blog.  That seems impossible to me. Over the past two years I’ve written 255 posts, received 2,026 comments,  and had 302,100 hits. Oh, but don’t be impressed by that—200,000 of those hits are probably me obsessively checking to see if I have any new comments and then falling into another narcissistic mood swing as I wonder why I get so few compared to other bloggers.  Then I remember how much I truly enjoy writing in here and how I’ve loved “meeting” so many interesting new people through my blog so I don’t care about the small number of comments or the fact that most of my other hits are from people doing searches of “adult fotos,” “how can I divorce my siblings in virginia,” “joan crawford hairbrush spanking,” “is catherine keener jewish,” or “lauren ambrose nude” (actual Google searches that have led to my blog in the last hour!). I started writing this just before Christmas in 2004 and some of my earliest entries were diatribes against the over-commercialization of the holidays.  I continued my anti-Christmas rants on the first anniversary of my blog including this charmer from last December in which I advocated for the abolition of Santa Claus. Oy, let it go, Danny.

I’ve noticed a marked absence in holiday kvetching this year.  What gives? Have I gotten into the spirit at last? Nah. I think it’s just that I’ve let the season go by without paying any attention at all. My Grinchiness remains intact, I can’t even believe that tomorrow  is Christmas Eve. Chanukah ends today but I’ve got a brisket in the oven and another batch of latkes in the freezer for the yuletide gathering we’re having with my goyishe in-laws.

Not that I’m totally immune to the Christmas juggernaut. Last night I went to see “White Christmas” at the American Cinematheque in all its Technicolor glory. It was fun but I must say I prefer the earlier film in which Irving Berlin’s song “White Christmas” was introduced (and won an Oscar). 1942’s “Holiday Inn” also starred Bing Crosby and his on-screen partner Fred Astaire was supposed to hook up with him again for the 1954 version but after reading the script  Fred claimed he was in retirement (pay no attention to the slew of musicals he then made over the next dozen years). Donald O’Connor was signed for the role but backed out at the last minute so the part of Bing’s co-hort was quickly rewritten for the wonderful Danny Kaye. The dames in “White Christmas” were played by Rosemary Clooney (in one of her very few film roles) and Vera-Ellen,  the former MGM dancing star who was big in her day but never achieved the level of success of her contemporaries. If not for this film and her great role as Miss Turnstiles in “On the Town,” I think she’d be completely forgotten.

I’m always fascinated by those stars who never quite hit it. Last night we wondered why all of Vera-Ellen’s costumes, even her sleepwear, covered her neck completely. Turns out the actress suffered from severe anorexia throughout the 1950s (before they even had a term for it) and her neck had prematurely aged to the point where they couldn’t cover the wrinkles with makeup.  Her legs also looked painfully thin compared to her great gams in “On the Town,” especially next to the naturally robust Rosemary Clooney who had the opposite problem. You could tell that she was cinched so tight into her costumes to try to make her look svelte that she could barely talk. But she sure could sing, I’m surprised they didn’t draft her into more movie musicals.  The film, though light on story and plot,  is a delight  to watch. My favorite part is when Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye lip sync and dance to the girls’ number “Sisters”—this wasn’t in the script but when the stars were clowning around on the set director Michael Curtiz thought it was so funny he put it in the film.

This was not exactly the happiest cast in movie history. Clooney had a well publicized struggle with alcoholism and addiction and suffered a complete nervous breakdown  following her second divorce from José Ferrer. She was in the Ambassador Hotel in 1968, standing close to Bobby Kennedy when he was assassinated which didn’t do her mental condition much good since she didn’t work for the next ten years. Oy. Vera-Ellen’s career basically ended with “White Christmas” although she made one more movie, the ghastly  “Let's Be Happy" with Tony Martin that had the tagline, "Tony Rocks 'Em! Vera Rolls ‘Em!” This abomination rolled her right out of a career. She gave birth to her only child in her 40s but the baby girl sadly died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Following that, Vera-Ellen disappeared from the spotlight and wasn’t heard from again until her death at the age of 60 in 1981. As you see, I am brimming with Christmas cheer. Oh well,  I won’t even go into Bing Crosby’s or Danny Kaye’s personal problems. 

I’ve managed to avoid all shopping malls for the duration  except for one visit to the Grove in L.A. a few weeks ago. When Leah and I walked by Santa’s North Pole bungalow,  she said she wanted to go in. “It’s for much younger kids, Leah,” I replied in full Grinch mode, “and I sure as hell don’t want to pay those insane prices for the photo packages they make you buy.” “Dad, relax, I just want to check this Santa out. I’ll meet you in the Apple Store in a few minutes.” I was too embarrassed to wait in line with my very tall daughter  looking like Dorothy in Munchkinland  next to all the tiny toddlers but I didn’t want to drag her away either so we agreed to meet up.  When Leah found me perusing the new MacBooks, she looked very proud. “He was really nice, “ she said, “and they all felt sorry for me because I was alone without a parent and didn’t have any money.” Leah was laden down with free gifts including a framed color photo that would normally cost over twenty bucks and a Godiva white chocolate Christmas lollipop. My daughter has never believed in Santa Claus but she managed to have a great exchange with the jolly old guy and his elfin minions that was far more in keeping with the spirit of the holiday than those brats who were handing him laundry lists of desired loot. I, on the other hand, with my refusal to enter St. Nick’s lair, felt like Ebenezer Scrooge before his visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Another year on my blog, another cheery Christmas post. Let’s not forget that “White Christmas,” the most successful Christmas record in history (in fact the most successful song on any topic in history) was written by a Jewish immigrant from Russia with absolutely no experience with the holiday.  The first version that Irving Berlin wrote was about a Los Angeleno living amidst the orange and palm trees, longing for a traditional Christmas “up north.” That eventually morphed into the version we know today which has been recorded by countless artists over the years including fellow Jews Bette Midler, Neil Diamond, Eydie Gorme, and Barbra Streisand.  Sadly, the song has occasionally been purloined by white supremacist groups to send out an entirely different message. But for now, I will suppress all my holiday cynicism and thank you for tuning in for any part of these past two years.

May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
(or any other color that works for you)

Comments

[Wendy]

Happy Blogversary Danny! I remember finding you when it was Andy Hardy Writes a Blog! Happy holidays and keep up the great (and funny!) writing!

[Donna Anton]

Hi, Danny. Happy anniversary and many more. Don't miss tomorrow's NYTimes article "Jewish in a Winter Wonderland" -- already on the NYT website. It's right up your alley -- celebrating holidays, including Christmas by Jews, a la carte.

BTW, thanks for the backfill on Vera-Ellen. I always wondered why I never saw her in any other film. And I do remember being curious about those turtlenecks and high-necked costumes (so it was a premature turkey neck - aha!). Mostly, though, as a zaftig teen, I thought Vera-Ellen's thinness was, well, to die for. I guess it almost was -- for her. As for robust Rosemary, she looked lush and healthy by comparison.

[cruisin-mom]

Danny, I'm so glad I discovered you...without you, I wouldn't know all of the wonderful backstories about the movies I love. No one can teach, touch, and tug at the heart quite like you do. Don't stop.

[your sister]

Danny, that Santa with Leah looks like a lech.

[Mindy]

I found your blog while looking up information about the divorce between Roald Dahl and Patricia Neal, and I've been hooked ever since. By the way, I finally got a copy of Joyeux Noel, which you wrote about in an earlier post, and I love it! I've been giving copies as gifts. You also got me hooked on Grey Gardens, and I gave the dvd to a friend who liked it so much she went to NY to see the musical. I hope you're getting a commission for your great salesmanship!

[kitty]

Boy, Leah is going to go far. What a confident kid! Good for her!

[churlita]

I've been an on and off lurker for a while. I love your blog and I'm a sucker for all the old movie nostalgia stuff.

Happy blog anniversary and have a tolerable holiday.

[margalit]

Wow, Danny I've evidentally been reading here for over a year since I remember last year's Christmas ranting, which was less ranting than MY last year's really big rant or two. I didn't really rant either this year. I think it might be the weather here on the east coast. It's been so warm it really doesn't even feel like Christmas eve. It's more like Sukkot weather.

I absolutely LOVE White Christmas. I'm a huge Danny Kaye fan, and for me, he makes the movie. I never knew that about Vera Lynn, but it makes sense, as she is so thin in that movie. Sad. And Rosemary Clooney, such a lovely voice and such a sad life. My mother was also at the Ambassador that night and I don't think she ever recovered either.

Anyhow, Have a wonder bloganniversary and a Hippy New Year.

[rankin' rob]

Happy Anniversary Danny. Here at the Katfarm we always enjoy Jew Eat Yet. Let us know if you are ever bound for ATL and we'll fix you a nice meal.

[Neil]

Remember the old days in Hollywood when Jews regularly changed their names to Samuel Goldwyn, John Garfield, and Edward G. Robinson. Is it wonderful that we are celebrating the two year anniversary of a blog now named "Jew Eat Yet?" (If "Andy Hardy" was a weird title, this one raises the bar)

But Danny Miller -- that doesn't sound very Jewish, does it? Shouldn't it be Daniel Millerosky?

[reader_iam]

Not all the brats give laundry lists. I don't just generally go for "in-person" Santa visits (meaning, I don't seek them out for my son, 6), but there have been a couple of times when he's "petitioned" Santa in person, by happenstance (& other people).

This year was one of those. He asked for exactly one thing. This year, he happened to get that one thing (because it was a good thing, and an appropriate thing in terms of a demonstrated interest and passion AND it is healthy over the long haul, as well as fun). He did get a few other things, though by the standards of his friends and relatives, I suppose it was a poor "Santa" haul.

Two years ago, the last time he petitioned Santa "in person," he asked for three things, specifically, one of which he got (along with a couple of things he did not request, but turned out to be "just right" over the haul-longer-than-Christmas-morn).

The point here is not to bore you, but rather to say that there are other ways to do things, and some other people really do them that way. My family is not unique; it's just not a stand-out.

[tamarika]

Congrats, Danny! I am close behind you with a blogaversary! Just the other day I was thinking I wouldn't mind sitting on Santa's lap, because I have never done that before! and then remembered ... I'm 57.

Merry Christmas you old Jewish Grinch!

[Paula]

Happy Anniversary to you. I have loved reading your blog. I think I linked here from someone else's blog, but I don't remember whose. You are a fountain of knowledge, and I so love the way you write.

I'm looking forward to the post you write one day about Danny Kaye's troubles. He is one of my childhood favorites, and I really miss him.

[Elisabeth]

Congrats on the second anniversary of your blog, Danny. I have been reading it only since my birthday, which is also yours. Your erudition is astounding, and you are a wonderful writer. It's always lovely to visit here.

[Brooke]

Over 300,000 hits? That's very impressive. Now stop your kvetching and be a good boy.

[Brianne]

I think you would enjoy this site, if you haven't seen it already. Photos of children terrified of Santa:
http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery

[Jukesgrrl]

No offense, Danny, but Leah's waaaay cooler than you.

[OldOldLady Of The Hills]

Why does that Santa look like a fugitive from a Temple??? Or is it just me? Maybe because The Grove is so near Canter's...(lol)...
A VeryHappy Anniversary Danny...and many more to come! And CONGRATULATIONS!
I happen to LOVE the film "Holiday Inn" and never liked "white Christmas"..."WC" seemed rather a mess to me in comparison to "Holiday Inn"....and also, maybe because "HI" was in Black & White, it has something that I can't quite put my finger on...! And I LOVED all the songs in it and the whole idea that the place was redecorated with each Holiday...!
Vera Ellen took Betty's dance class back in the early to mid 60's and her neck was pretty covered up then, too...it was B.G. who first mentioned the anorexia to me, too! Poor soul...the horrors of a career in Hollywood...!

BTW: I read your piece on "DREAMGIRLS" in The Huffington Post....GREAT article Danny, my dear...I remember when I saw "DREAMGIRLS" back in the early 80's...somone I know said---when describing Jennifer Holday's performance of "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going..." she said...."She all but shit's on the stage!"
(lol)..funny, but true! That was a performance that was quite extrordinaty...I haven't seen the film yet...(you know my situation)...but I would dearly LOVE to...!
Sorry to digress here Danny, but I wanted to say how much I liked your post about this film.

[KyLydia]

Thanks for the great commentary on White Christmas. I watched it for the first time myself this year. I thought Vera-Ellen looked very thin for the times. Rosemary Clooney is wonderful.

[Celia]

I happened to catch [most, but not all of] "White Christmas" for the first time (from the point where the girls are performing the sisters number for the guys in a nightclub of some kind, and then I missed a bit and picked back up when they were on the train) while in a hotel on Christmas Day. I spent the whole time glad I'd read about the backstory, wracking my brain to try to remember WHERE I'd read about it, and wondering how anyone other than Danny Kaye could have done that role. It would have been quite different with Fred Astaire. I visited your blog today and realized, "Oh, THIS is where I read it!" I enjoy your blog enormously, as well as several of your published articles I've read through your links on this page.

[Postmodern Sass]

Vera Ellen's story is tragic. I knew most of it, but I didn't know about the reason behind the high collars in her costumes. (I did notice that, though -- I've seen the movie eight zillion times.) She's always been my favourite movie musical dancer, because of that scene in the first act of White Christmas where she and Danny Kaye dance on the "marina" in Florida. Oh, and in the number, "Mandy," where they lower her to the floor and she taps a mile a nanosecond. She inspired me to take tap dancing. She's absof**kingloutely fantastic.

[Vicki Forman]

Happy blog-iversary! And Happy birthday Leah!