Okay, I admit it. I can’t be objective where George W. Bush is concerned. No matter what he does, I think he’s an idiot. Oh, relax, I’m not on the Senate Judiciary Committee, and at least I’m aware of my bias, that helps, doesn’t it? If Bush hadn’t chosen a woman this morning to replace Sandra Day O’Connor on the Supreme Court, I would have screamed bloody murder. I would have moaned that all his lip service to equality was total bullshit and that he clearly didn’t give a damn about women getting more opportunities in this country. Now that he has nominated Harriet Miers, I am filled with cynicism and suspicion. Who is this Bush apologist that never served a day in her life as a judge? What in God’s name makes her qualified to serve in this position other than the Oath of Loyalty she clearly took regarding her devotion to Bush (look how she’s mastered the Nancy Reaganesque adoring gaze in the above photo). I may retain my suspicions about Miers even after she is confirmed (and I’m betting she will be) but I have to acknowledge that my tolerance of Bush is so low he could have exhumed Eleanor Roosevelt from her Hyde Park crypt to place her on the Court and I still would have smelled a rat.
But my job is not to analyze important political appointments with intelligence and objectivity. No, my role is to inappropriately look at such decisions within the context of mindless pop culture. Am I the only one to hear the name Harriet Miers this morning and immediately think of the evil Mrs. Meers from the film and Broadway versions of “Thoroughly Modern Millie?”
In that story, Mrs. Meers is the owner of a 1920s Hotel for Young Women in New York, close to Chinatown. Her impressionable tenants think Mrs. Meers is a kindly mother figure of Chinese descent. They are completely unaware that she is actually a monstrous Caucasian ex-con, secretly running a white slavery racket out of the hotel. Whenver Mrs. Meers checks in a new client, she inquires about her family status. When she finds a young woman with no family or connections, her eyes light up and she squeals in her fake Chinese accent: "So sad to be all alone in the world." Soon afterwards, Mrs. Meers chloroforms the poor unattached woman and drop-ships her in a large crate to the Far East. Kendall and I saw the Tony Award-winning performance of the woman who played Mrs. Meers in the recent Broadway production. Her name? Harriet (!) Harris. Also from Texas, this Harriet’s latest role was as a regular on “Desperate Housewives.” Harriet Miers has never been a housewife, desperate or otherwise, and I’m waiting to see how long it takes for people to raise their eyebrows at her unmarried status. The only reassuring news so far is that Operation Rescue and some other right-wing groups have already come out against Miers, calling her “virulently pro-abortion.”
But before we leave the fictional Mrs. Meers, how can I not point out the uncanny resemblance between Harriet Miers and the woman who created the role of Mrs. Meers in the original 1967 film version of “Thoroughly Modern Millie,” the fantastic Beatrice Lillie? Will Miers sail through the confirmation process with the same cunning as her film counterpart, only to start her own metaphorical white slavery ring once she is on the Court?
As Mrs. Meers sings in the play:
They don't know my flair for the dramatic
Not a clue, the talent I possess
Pretty girls, but not much in the attic
Face-to-face with genius, and they never guess.
They don't know they're staring at an artist
Highly trained to take on any role
Skillful mime, and brilliant laundry cart-ist
Seeking retribution for the life they stole.
They don't know I'm hotter news than Duse
Helen Hayes and Bernhardt all in one
They're on top, and I look like the loser
Wait and see who's standing when my play is done.
Oy. So sad to be all alone in the world.
The right's attack on the entire judicial branch is on the march. I'm sure Harriet Miers is a fine attorney, but heading up a midmarket law firm in a lower to mid-market legal city like Dallas and following it with stints escorting GW around the country does not sound to me like the training necessary to decide legal questions influencing us all. And though SMU is a good law school, unless Ms. Miers excelled there (i.e. gave the Valedictorian address), I will show my Ivy League bias and go so far as to say Bush is showing little, if any, respect for the high Court. Could Bush actually think any decent lawyer can do this job?
Posted by: Greg | October 03, 2005 at 12:53 PM
I hadn't heard that she was pro-choice. I had heard that she used to be on the board of directors for a Christian ministry that 'deprogrammed' homosexual youth; I confirmed that she was on the board of said company, but no mention of any kind of nefarious program they had. Time will tell -- the internet always unearths the worst about people.
Posted by: The Retropolitan | October 03, 2005 at 01:43 PM
I wouldn't for a second risk interpreting Operation Rescue's "pro-abortion" accusation as meaning Miers is decidedly pro-choice. I'm sure she will NOT come out as pro-choice in the hearings (even if she secretly is). Yikes, I hadn't heard about her being on the board of that Christian ministry, I will definitely look for more info on that! I just read that Miers once said she thought George W. Bush was the most brilliant man she ever met. Hello?
Posted by: Danny | October 03, 2005 at 02:12 PM
Oh Danny, thanks for weighing in on this one. I can't figure out what is going on in this country. My special ed lawyer is more qualified...
Posted by: Vicki | October 03, 2005 at 03:41 PM
Ahhh yes, Vicki, I couldn't agree with you more...What the F--- is happening, for God's sake?? I was talking to my brother who I really trust on these matters and the only thing he said that wasn't exactly news was; Miers is so far 'right' she makes Attila The You-Know-What, look mild!!! Well, mostly I feel so hopeless about this administration and having to live through their God-know's- what-decisions in the next three years, that if I weren't so ensconced in these hills I might think about moving to another country, like, Neverland! I mean the Neverland of "Finding Neverland"...please, deliver me from the horrors of what might go down and probably will by these 'Let Them Eat Cake' people....The Republicans suck! Oh, and by the way, does Bush have a brain? That would be news to me. OY indeed, on this, the Eve of the New Year. (And by the way, a very Happy New Year to one and all, especially to you Danny and your very talented wife.)
LOVE your Blog Danny, and your take on Everything!!! And, your great sense of humor. So glad I found you.
Posted by: OldLady Of The Hills | October 03, 2005 at 04:59 PM
For several years (from at least about 1996 to about 2000), Ms. Miers was a member of the Board of Directors for Capstead Mortgage, a publicly traded real estate investment trust company. In 1998, 24 class-action lawsuits were filed against the REIT and some of its officers, alleging the defendants violated federal securities laws by issuing false and misleading statements and omitting disclosure of material adverse information regarding the company's business. This occurred while Ms. Miers was a member of Capstead's Board of directors. The lawsuits were consolidated in Federal Court in Texas, and eventually the court dismissed the lawsuits at the end of 2003.
Sam Nicolas
www.dailybelch.com
Posted by: Sam Nicolas | October 04, 2005 at 05:01 PM
Hi Danny,
Did you read Maureen Dowd today? Great! You know I was lucky enough to see Bea Lillie 9 times in the Broadway Review, "Inside U.S.A.". She was an incrdible performer, wasn't she? I never did see the original Broadway cast of "Millie"....but I'm so grateful I did get to see this great great performer, (especially in the above review format---it had a GREAT cast, too)do her stuff! I guess this dates me, doesn't it? I'm thrilled to be 'dated'!
Posted by: OldLady Of The Hills | October 05, 2005 at 01:31 PM
Sadly, I'm with you - anything W does reeks to me and this latest move is just one in a long line of equally stupid moves. [groan] The Supreme Court was my soap box back in 2000 and once again in 2004 and the current status is as bad as I expected it to be. "Trust me" as a reason for a nomination makes me weep in agony. But all I can do is blame my own country, a country with enough of a majority of fools to vote the King of Fools back in for another round.
Posted by: Adriana Bliss | October 06, 2005 at 02:03 PM