Today is my wife Kendall’s birthday. Sometimes Kendall has a hard time asking for what she wants, so I was delighted when she was so specific about what she wanted me to make for her birthday dinner tonight: crab puffs, green gazpacho, BLTs, and angel food cake with chocolate frosting (“not that chocolate buttercream business that you like but REAL chocolate!”). Oy, what does this Jew know from crab puffs and BLTs? Oh, and if any of my orthodox relatives in Israel have found my blog, I can assure you I’m using kosher crab substitute and turkey bacon (yeah, right—I won’t even mention the shrimp I’m putting on top of the gazpacho). I always considered angel food cake a totally goy dessert. The Jewish version of that would be sponge cake and I still remember the story my mother used to tell of helping my great-grandmother Alta Toba make it. Apparently sponge cake batter is very fragile and you’re supposed to stir it in one direction only. My 12-year-old mother didn’t realize this and started pounding on that batter every which way inducing a high-speed tirade in Yiddish from Alta Toba that her cake was ruined.
Kendall always braces herself when she asks me to make something simple like BLTs. She knows I’ll find a way to turn this easy request into a complicated, insanely expensive all-day affair. I already stopped by the gourmet restaurant supply store near Leah’s camp to buy a special kind of smoked bacon that is only available there, then went over to La Brea Bakery to get a great pain de mie for the sandwiches. Now I need to get some imported Eric Bur mayonnaise and stop at Farmers Market for a selection of heirloom tomatoes and organic lettuce. I know Kendall would be just as happy with Wonder bread, Oscar Mayer, and Hellman’s, but if there’s a way to make a BLT that costs $50, I’ll find it! And of course I need a new good quality pan for the angel food cake, special refrigerated cake flour from the restaurant store, and the finest Belgian cocoa for the non-buttercream frosting. No wonder cooking a “simple meal” always turns into a High Mass. I’m sure my snooty food tastes come from a childhood full of spaghettios and TV dinners. Uh-oh, every time I besmirch my childhood food intake, I feel my mother’s accusing glare from the Great Beyond saying, “What about those stuffed veal breasts and lamb shanks I slaved over?” Truth be told, my mother was an excellent cook when she wanted to be, but for many meals we enjoyed an abundance of processed foods designed to free newly liberated women from kitchen drudgery. Oh well, it was the 60s, when chemical concoctions like orange-flavored Tang were considered tasty treats.
One of the most unexpected results of starting this blog last December has been the explosion of fan mail Kendall has received from people who loved her book, “The Day I Became an Autodidact.” Hardly a day goes by without several “Whatever happened to Kendall Hailey?” Google searches leading people to my site. These search terms are right up there with all the people looking for Amy Carter and the creepy folks who are trying to find nude photos of the Walton girls. Having found my blog, her fans write to Kendall to tell her how much her book meant to them and how many people they’ve given it to. One woman talked about how her late husband so admired Kendall and how much it would mean to him for Kendall to know that. Another woman was so excited to get a response from Kendall that it inspired her to start her own blog. Many people keep begging for a follow-up to Kendall’s wonderful memoir and I’m here to tell them that she has completed one that is just as funny and insightful. I think agents and editors would be crazy not to take advantage of this devoted following and ready-made audience. Kendall hears from people around the world. A sweet 11-year-old boy named Anurak from a “Gifted Educational Programme” in Singapore was assigned a list of writers to choose from including Kendall, Maya Angelou, Annie Dillard, Eudora Welty, and Anne Frank. “Well, to make a long story short,” he wrote to her recently, “I zeroed in to Ms. Kendall's book because BY FAR, it is the most interesting book! Anne Frank is WAY too common and dry.” Oy, with humble apologies to Anne Frank, I have to agree that Kendall’s book fits right in there with that esteemed group. Anurak then sent us the “bio-poem” he wrote about Kendall for his class:
Kendall
Intelligent, Rebellious, Studious, Determined,
Daughter of Oliver and Elizabeth, Sister of Brooke,
Who cares deeply about her family and close friends,
Who feels that people should be in charge of their own lives,
Who needs to read every book she can get her hands on,
Who gives love to her family, inspiration to her parents and encouragement to her fellow scholars,
Who fears everyone in the world being controlled and not having any choices,
Who would like to see people getting the best possible education they can,
Resident of Los Angeles, California, the United States of America.
You go, Anurak! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Kendall has so many skills and talents. In addition to writing, acting, and her new passions, paint scraping, concrete removal, and housepainting, she is also a magnet for children of all ages who worship her on sight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who has that level of patience, love, and unending ability to focus on the wee ones. And I love how, like a cult leader or a modern-day Jean Brodie (“Give me a girl at an impressionable age and she's mine for life!”), Kendall is able to pass on her unique interests to her young following. Even the the two-year-olds in Kendall’s circle know the words to every Doris Day song and prefer a good June Allyson movie to a Disney classic.
I am eternally grateful for the day I walked up to Kendall at the Bel Air Hotel and asked, “Are you Kendall Hailey?” I am thankful for Kendall’s wonderful, loving relationship with Leah. I so appreciate everything Kendall does to beautify our beloved home (you should see that gal with a sledgehammer in her hand!). And I am especially grateful for Kendall’s capacity to see through the layers of my own tortured psyche and her abililty to find the human being that lives under all of that neuroses and angst.
Kendall’s late father was the talented playwright Oliver Hailey. Every year on my birthday Kendall sings me the birthday song that was written for one of his best plays, “Who’s Happy Now?” just so he could avoid paying those silly royalties to Mildred Hill (did you know that every time you hear “Happy Birthday to You” in a movie the estate of Mildred and her sister Patty gets big bucks?). But I love the version from Oliver’s play and now I sing it to Kendall with full gusto (with thanks to Kendall’s mom Betsy for helping me with the lyrics):
There’s one day in each year
That is yours when it’s here
It’s the day that belongs to you!
And whene’er it appears
In a lifetime of years
The day that belongs to you!
The people who love you
Will always be thinking of you
Whether they’re near you or far away
But to whom it concerns
Many happy returns
Of the day that belongs to you!
(Don’t even think about singing that song without paying dearly into the Hailey royalty fund! Two can play at that game, Miss Mildred J. Hill!)
Thank you, Kendall Hailey, for being you and for being in my life. I love you.
And now on to those damn crab puffs!
I don't really know you other than your blog, but I was always assuming you were the clever one of the family. But now I see you're just lucky. How else could you get such a woman to marry you? Don't make the bacon in the BLT too crisp.
Posted by: Neil | July 12, 2005 at 06:58 PM
Happy 27th, sweetie.
Posted by: Quinn | July 12, 2005 at 08:09 PM
happy birthday kendall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Posted by: Leah | July 12, 2005 at 09:03 PM
I just wanted make it a matter of record in the blogosphere that WE (da family) ARE ALL VERY GLAD regarding that day at the Bel Air Hotel.
We love you Kendall!
Happy Birthday
Love, Your B-in-L, Bruce (that's Brother-in-Law, not bacon and lettuce).
Posted by: The Chicago Brother | July 12, 2005 at 09:03 PM
~Sending warmest birthday wishes to the wonderful Miss Kendall~Big Kiss!!!
Posted by: Kelley | July 12, 2005 at 09:15 PM
how did the crab puffs turn out?
Posted by: Rosie | July 14, 2005 at 08:34 AM
The crab puffs were a disaster! Well, they tasted good but no matter how much extra flour I added I could never get that fishy liquid to turn into batter. I ended up using a muffin tin and Leah called them crab cupcakes.
That's what I get for cooking trayf!
Posted by: Danny | July 14, 2005 at 09:47 AM
A very Happy Birthday albeit belatedly - I was away and now I'm back!
Posted by: Tamar | July 15, 2005 at 03:06 PM
Happy Birthday Kendall! It's true all the kids at BCC love you! Becky
Posted by: Becky Schwartz | July 21, 2005 at 04:39 PM
I was one of the creepy guys who, just a few minutes ago, typed in "Kendall Hailey" to see what became of her. Ha! Back in the day, when the L.A. Times reviewed Kendall and her book, I went out and bought it. Then I wrote her, spewing admiration and telling her of my own sister, "Our Lady of Perpetual Ingratitude," and Kendall wrote back. I don't think I'll look up past encounters anymore. It makes me feel wistful and old.
Posted by: Dave T. | August 03, 2005 at 09:06 AM
Kendall
Happy Birthday!
Remember me? Until about 5 or 6 years ago, we were penpals--then I failed to answer a letter, left NYC and my next letter was returned.
I'm in Seattle now--married and a Daddy!
Drop me a note.
Scott McKinstry
Posted by: Scott McKinstry | October 10, 2005 at 12:55 PM
Dear Danny,
Call me creepy, call me a cab, but I have arrived at your site via a web search for Kendall.
She and I were good friends at Oakwood in junior high and high school, and due to my terrible habit of not keeping in touch she has not heard from me in ages.
Kindly pass along my e-mail address to her with the message that I hope we can reconnect!
Yours,
Amy Balser Blumenthal
Posted by: Amy Balser Blumenthal | March 21, 2006 at 09:18 AM
Happy Birthday to Kendall from someone who found her book in a used bookstore a few years ago and loved it like everyone else. It's so nice to know that she has found someone who loves her so much. :)
Erin
Posted by: Rinn | April 26, 2006 at 10:18 AM
After reading how one actually becomes an autodidact when the book first came out, I have shared that thought with my sixth grade students. I encourage them to each become an autodidact and they love this creative opportunity. Thank you, Kendall Hailey, for writing such an inspiring book.
Please continue the book by writing about your life now...
Any chance you'd come to San Diego to talk with students about writing?!
Posted by: Kathie Jenuine | July 01, 2006 at 10:44 AM
oh my gosh! i just wanted to say that i loved the book, the day i became an autodidact! my summer reading last has quadrupled thanks to your book! i've forced all of my friends to read it and i've begun my own novel. thanks!
Posted by: amy harris | July 14, 2006 at 09:02 PM
I am one who was always wondering "whatever happened to Kendall Hailey? And I entered her name today on google and got your blog. But what I would like to know is, what led you to recognize her in the hotel that day? What led you to ask, Are you Kendall Hailey? Had you read her book?
Posted by: linda | July 24, 2006 at 10:41 AM
Hello there,
I just finished Kendall Hailey's book 'The Day I became an Autodidact'. It was utterly and ineffably adorable. I have so many questions. I would like to write to Kendall. Is there a way I could get her e-mail, or her home address? Please? Pretty please? I would be unspeakably grateful.
-Derek
Posted by: Derek | February 28, 2007 at 01:43 PM
Another gushing fan, I know. So much so that I wrote an entry on my blog yesterday about how I found Ms. Hailey's book six years ago in my otherwise useless high school library during my last year of school. I was in the middle of graduating early and rebuking all beliefs that I should go on to college just to satisfy the peanut gallery (teachers, parents, friends, etc.).
Thanks Ms. Hailey. I owe you one.
Posted by: Mean Rachel | March 07, 2007 at 07:03 PM
Hi Kendall!
I was wondering how to get in touch with you! Please email me. I have thought of you so often. I can't wait to hear from you.
love,
Pat
Posted by: Pat Tallman | May 29, 2007 at 07:17 AM
Kendall--If you've not read it yet, read Simon Callow's Love is Where It Falls, about his friendship with agent Peggy Ramsay. Literate, eccentric and charming as hell. I think you'll love it!
Scott
PS Hi!
Posted by: Scott McKinstry | July 13, 2007 at 11:27 PM
I wrote Kendall a fan letter when her book first came out. She wrote back, in her terrible handwriting but with her wonderful wit. Eventually, I sent her a play I had written about Emily Dickinson and her strange relatives. I've been wondering for several years how she was doing. I am more than old enough to be her dad, so Danny does not have to worry about me. Glad to find Danny's blog, but it seems to need an update! ----Bill Adams, Hobbs NM
Posted by: Bill Adams | July 18, 2007 at 08:50 AM
Hi Kendall & Danny,
I hope you both are well. Kendall, are you getting the emails about the memorial for Charles here in LA? I don't see your email in the list and I am sure you know about this but would feel like an idiot if you were out of the loop. I am on the very outskirts myself and its only my unlikely email friendship with Lisa Soland that keeps me informed. Please call me at 818-704-1817 and we can catch up! My 50th birthday is looming large!
love you crazy girl,
Pat
Posted by: Pat Tallman | August 09, 2007 at 08:25 PM
I'm the unlikeliest of fans--I have a Ph.D. and all the degrees leading up to it--but Kendall's book is still one of my all-times favorites, a lifeline of support getting me through the idiocies of academia.
Is there any sign that the follow-up is going to be published? I see this post is over two years old. Happy belated birthday.
cheers,
Sarah
Posted by: Sarah Wilson | January 29, 2009 at 06:14 AM