I’m jealous…of myself. No, not the Danny Miller that I’ve been living inside for the past 46 years, I’m jealous of the Danny Miller I’ve met through my blog. As I’ve watched him develop over the last 10 months, I’ve wished I could be more like him. We actually share a lot of interests. We both love old movies and old houses and TV shows from the 1970s. We’re both obsessed with Jews and Anne Frank and Henry VIII and Paris and fountain pens.
We look sort of alike but Blog Danny is slightly taller, in better shape, and has a little more hair. He would never post a photo as terrifying and hideous as the one above, but if he did, he wouldn’t be neurotic about it since he is very accepting of himself and the natural aging process. Blog Danny doesn’t have high blood pressure or high cholesterol and he already eats the kind of healthy nutritious diet that I’m trying to migrate to. Maybe I can call him for some tips. I sure admire the way he works out every day without complaint and seems to balance all the parts of his life so well.
Blog Danny is also married to a woman named Kendall (coincidence?). While they occasionally spar in very humorous, witty ways (think Nick and Nora), they never have the kind of raging, ugly fight that Kendall and I went through this week. Blog Danny never loses it the way that I do when I am gripped by fear or frustration or just decades of dysfunction that I haven’t worked through in therapy yet. Blog Danny understands that all relationships have their ups and downs and appreciates the learning that can result from occasional strife. Of course he never takes his wife for granted or allows his dark mood to sour a family dinner. Blog Danny cherishes the differences between him and his wife. He knows their different preferences and ways of looking at the world will only make their lives richer.
I wish I had as good a memory as Blog Danny. While I am fascinated by all the anecdotes he spews off about pop culture icons, I’d need a little help to remember all of those fun song lyrics or interesting facts. The letters from celebrities are the same as the ones I have (how weird!), but where does he get all those other photos? Are they part of his personal collection or is he stealing them left and right? How does this guy not get arrested?
Like me, Blog Danny enjoys his job but he never feels overwhelmed and unsure or worried about his company’s finances or his own. How come I’m able to work myself up into a debilitating frenzy about things like work or finances and Blog Danny is able to take it all in stride, understanding that the daily stresses in life only make us stronger, and that most of that stuff isn’t all that important in the larger scheme of things? Man, that guy has his priorities straight.
Blog Danny also has a loving red-haired daughter named Leah. But he never tortures her in the morning when they’re running late, convinced that one tardy too many will send her on the road to academic ruin that will lead to life in a fast food sweat shop or a tawdry burlesque house. Blog Danny never snaps at his daughter and always gives her his full, undivided attention. He allows her the freedom to make her own mistakes, knowing that this is the most loving thing to do because it is the only way she will learn to become independent. He is excited about the future and the day that his daughter will go off on her own, not sick to his stomach at the thought like I am.
Blog Danny’s family is very similar to mine, I bet they came from the same shtetl in Poland. But it seems as if his family hasn’t been shaken to the core on numerous occasions from painful, sad, or tragic episodes in the same way that mine has. People don’t get as irritated or as angry at each other in Blog Danny’s family, it seems like they are a really healthy group of people. I’d love to meet them.
Blog Danny even has a rock star brother-in-law but he would never mention him in his blog unless it was truly germane to the post. He certainly wouldn’t do it to try to curry favor with his brother-in-law’s fans, thus increasing his blog stats. Blog Danny is very philosophical about his blog. He just enjoys putting his thoughts out there from time to time (never worrying that he’s not writing enough) and then if someone chooses to read it, that’s fine. He never obsessively checks his daily hits on Stat Counter or looks himself up on Technorati to see if anyone has mentioned him or linked to his blog. He never thinks twice about the number of comments he receives on a post or seethes in jealousy at the blogs that receive dozens of comments within an hour of posting a new entry.
Blog Danny has such an easy, casual rapport with the bloggers and other commenters who visit his site that you’d never know he’s never met most of them. But if he did meet them the exchanges would be just as warm and friendly as they are online, there wouldn’t be a trace of social awkwardness. Blog Danny is never longing to feel part of a community, he always feels like an accepted member of any group with which he has contact.
Oh, if only I were as smart, friendly, funny, and emotionally stable as this guy. He may poke fun at himself from time to time, but he’s got a really healthy attitude about his faults. I’m sure he never feels the need to voice every single neurotic thought as it enters his brain, thus driving everyone around him nuts with his self-deprecating tirade.
I really want to become more like Blog Danny. Do you think he’d have lunch with me? Or would he run screaming to the door? Maybe I’ll leave a comment on his blog and try to set something up.